Demon's Choice
by Aniulights
Summary: Satine is all alone now that a powerful demon has come into her life and taken from her everything she has ever known. She needs the Winchesters' help along with a few angels to find her place, while finding out who she really is...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello everyone! This is my first Supernatural fic, but there is something about it that may be a bit different than others. My OC Satine, has three main different relationships in this story that change throughout time so the paring isn't correct 100%. Some last and others don't. Also POV changes throughout the story as well, hope you enjoy!**

This was it I thought. How could I go on anymore? This horrid monster that was now inside me, controlling my every move, had pushed me to the end. How could my body keep up with this creature's intensity? Bloody and beaten was all that I had become. Even though I was still in a full sprint down the dark, misty, country road that seemed to lead on to nothing more but eternal darkness, there was no way I could keep going.

Everything that the creature had done in my body, I'd seen. All the people I had torn to little pieces, their faces, I'd seen all of them and remembered them well. I'd felt my own hands around their necks and the snap of their bones. Their screams were etched into my memory and it made me cringe, even though I was nothing more than a voice tucked away into the back of my mind, like a winter coat in the middle of the New York City August heat in the back of the closet. There was nothing I could do to help them. Not now. Not with Nora calling the shots.

Her last victim had been a little girl who'd gotten in the way. She was trying to protect her mother from a monster that no man could have stood up to. Her high pitched scream echoed in the field that her mother had been dragged to. With a long night of trouble making ahead of us, we were in a hurry to get this over with. Mom's name had been Elanna and she owed Nora's boss a debt, a debt that could only be paid in blood. We'd found her in the parking lot of a grocery store at the edge of town with her young daughter.

Hidden in the back seat of their minivan, we had the perfect advantage over the two. Once they were both in the van, Nora hacked into the engine of the van with an unknown force and bolted us into drive, rapidly picking up speed down the road lite with only a few street lamps. Both Elizabeth and the girl screamed in horror while Elanna pushed on the brakes and even took the keys out of the ignition, but it was no use. Nora had them both at her mercy.

"Please don't do this!" Elanna cried from the driver's seat, knowing that she no longer had power over the van. Nora only smiled and gave a dark chuckle as she looked over the screaming girl's face in front of her. "Shh." Elanna sobbed to the girl with only hope of calming her down. "Shh. Amy, honey, everything is going to be alright." That's when Nora picked up speed again until she slammed the vehicle to a gut retching halt in the middle of the road.

With nowhere to run, woods on one side of us and a foggy fenced in field on the other, Elanna looked back at us with pleading, tear drowned eyes. "Please, let me take my daughter home first. Please." she begged.

Nora smiled and shook my head then set the van moving again, only this time we turned and drove into a slight ditch at the side of the road and through a little gap in the trees. Both Amy and Elanna screamed with every bump we hit in the sloshy grass that was been damped with the evening dew and this morning's rain.

Once we were in a big enough space, Nora stopped the car and unlocked the doors. Elanna jumped out and grabbed Amy. We were out of the van a few moments later and ready to play. Elanna pushed her girl behind her as we rolled out a game that Nora had made me quite familiar with. We would circle around our victim before making any real moves, playing with their minds just for the fun of it.

"Just five minutes. Please, let me just call her father."

"Ten years." my voice said.

"Mommy!" Amy cried.

"Shh... Please, one phone call." Nora shook my head again and sent the women a toothy grin before taking a sharp step closer. She only shook a little and gave us one hard blink. She didn't cower or quake. This isn't the way Nora liked to play. She liked to see their fear, watch it consume them, but Elanna was stronger than that. With a few more quick tricks and no rewards for Nora, she was done with the game, and to end it she put my fingers to my mouth and whistled. A few moments later, the sound of bounding creatures in the mud approached us. Their growls were starved and angry as I could hear them circling Amy and Elanna, only I couldn't see them. It was clear to my ears that something big and hungry was right in front of me, but my eyes saw nothing. I'd seen this too many times before to know my eyes were right. These were Hell Hounds. They took down those who owed the boss a debt. All we had to do was call them.

With the snap of my fingers, they attacked. Elanna was on the ground seconds later, screaming and fighting the invisible hounds that were now ripping her to shreds. I would have looked away if I could, but that wasn't possible. I had to stand there, feel the smile on my lips as Nora watched the poor women be gored to death by the hounds. Nail marks covered her body, cutting through her clothes and skin, but she fought on until that final bite was taken at her throat, ending her battle.

Nora looked on at the hounds that only she could see and we said "Good job. Time for the next one." As we turned around our eyes widen at the sight before us. Not more than ten feet was the van that we had abandoned with little frightened Amy sitting behind the wheel. She was distraught by her mother's death and full of rage aimed at us. "Child, I'll get you too." we warned, but Amy wasn't listening anything we had to say. She turned the van on and the headlights momentary blinded us, giving her enough time to press hard on the gas and drive right at us.

Nora wasn't fast enough, not by a long shot. Moments later we were pressed under the muddy tires of the van and soon in its wake. Amy, not old enough to understand a van, plowed right into a tree just before Nora had us back up from the mud. Everything hurt and blood poured from my head, face and arms right through my thick black sweater. I had to have had at least ten broken bones, but that was nothing for Nora. She had us up and walking right towards the van where Amy was climbing out of the driver's window, blood leaking from a cut on her brow.

"You little bitch." we spit from between my clenched teeth as we stormed right at the girl. My hands constricted around her throat as we lifted her from the ground. Her feet kicked in every direction and a single scream escaped from her mouth before we put one hand on top of her head and left the other around her neck. I pulled as hard as I could to make Nora stop, but there was nothing I could do to protect the little girl as Nora, in one quick motion, snapped the girl's neck so that her head was facing backwards.

That was that. Nora threw the limp girl like a rag doll to the ground and we headed back for the main road. I could feel every bone crack in my back and legs with every step but it was like Nora was completely numb to all of it as we walked like a normal, healthy human, like we had never been run over by a minivan.

A set of flashing blue and red lights in the direction of the road made us stop in our tracks. The cops must have seen the fresh car tracks leading off the road. Nora would have just continued and killed the cop, but we could hear him calling for backup on his radio as another white car pulled up with more flashing lights. We had to get out of here before anyone saw us covered in blood. Surely they'd have questions for us, especially when they found the bodies not more than thirty feet behind us.

That's when we took off in the woods, avoiding the lights of any cars until we were sure there was no one who could see us. We then went for the road and continued on running, looking for somewhere to hide for the night then get cleaned up for another day of torment.

We'd gotten a good two miles down the road before something had crashed right into us, knocking us off the road and back into the grass under the trees. Out of breath, Nora slowly sat up and looked around for what had caused our disruption. No cars were flying up or down the road, no animals were speeding away into the woods. We were alone as far as I could tell, until we stood up and turned around to find our new opponent. It was nothing more than a shadow of a man to me. It was too dark with the moon hidden behind the clouds, but that didn't stop Nora. I could feel that she knew who it was right away, and not only did she know who it was, but I could feel her fearing him. She plastered another evil smile onto my lips but I could feel it in her core that this man was a danger to her. The first danger we'd come across, for I'd never felt her fear before.

"Ahh, you've found me. You must be getting rusty seeing as it took you this long." we said.

"Maybe you're getting sloppy." a gruff voice responded.

"Oh, did you see my resent handy work? Didn't you like it? I know the boss will be pleased with it."

"Well, it'll be the last of your work he'll see." he said getting closer. Nora backed us up with every step he took.

"Shame, I was just starting to have fun. Say why don't you give me a few more days in this meat-suit. I really like the fight this one has to her." I knew she was referring to me.

"I think it's time for you to go." Who was this man and why was Nora afraid of him? Should I be afraid of him too?

"Aww. So soon? The party is just starting." I could feel Nora shivering in me now that the man was getting closer. Once we were backed up against a tree, he started to mutter words that I'd only heard Nora say. I didn't know these words or what language they were from my best guess it was Latin. Nora was just about to make a strong move, I could feel her balling up inside like she was about to jump out or something, when the man finished speaking in his odd tongue. We stood up straight and my mouth burst open as every trace of Nora that was inside of me filtered out of my throat and mouth into a gray smoke that went into the sky.

When she was all but gone, every ounce of strength that I'd had diminished. That was the only thing Nora had brought to our table. I sank down to the mushy ground where my body just collapsed. I was back at the helm of a wrecked ship that was destined to sink. Tears of pain built up at the corners of my eyes and they spilled down my cold cheeks, grabbing bits of dried blood as they fell. A cough built up in my chest then slowly made its way to my mouth where it escaped. It harbored blood with it that filled my mouth and leaked from my lips. I had to have been dying. People didn't normally survive being run over by a van in the middle of nowhere on a late October night in northern New York. This is where it would end. Right here, all alone.

I heard the snap of a twig and then remembered that I wasn't alone. The man who pulled Nora from my body was still here. I could hear the rustling of his clothes as he moved closer to me. I would have fought to get away but there was nothing left in me. I couldn't even move, I was too broken. I could see the dark shadow of the man bend down beside me as the clouds above blew away slightly, giving me just enough moonlight to see him. Dark, short hair with a slight crop up in the front covered his head. Trim features, and tide pools for eyes that reflected the most serene blue in the moonlight lead me to believe I didn't have to fear him. His face was too gentle for me to fear.

If anything, with him so close, I would have just asked him to kill me. The pain was becoming too much and he had to be able to see that. I could tell he knew by the look on his face. His eyes were softly drifting over my body then they stopped at my eyes where they stayed.

In my mind I willed him to end it. I wanted him to take it all away.

He gave a slight sigh through his nose before bringing his right index and middle fingers close to my face and touching my forehead. That's when it happened. I could feel the movement in my body. Not like when Nora was taking over. No, this felt like mending. It felt like my bones were going back into place. It took a few moments before I could feel everything was better, but I still could feel a pain in my head, like when Nora was pulled out, she'd clawed into my mind, scratching to stay in. I could feel her marks left there. That's what was hurting most of all.

Now that I could move again, my back arched and my face cringed at the throbbing pain in my head. I grabbed my hair and pushed it against my skull hoping for some relief, but it wouldn't stop. It pounded in my ears and I let out a small whine. My eyes squeezed tight and I clenched my teeth.

The pain then faded away for a few seconds and I was able to open my eyes again. The man who was by my side looked me over with scared confusion. His mouth was hung slightly open with no words. He didn't understand what was happening to me, and neither did I.

The pain started up again a few moments later. My back arched forward again and I grabbed at my skull. I screamed as the pounding of blood between my ears turned to agonizing anguish. That's when the man slid one arm under my legs and the other under my back, lifting me up as he stood. I shook in his arms as a cold wind blew past my sweating face.

"I need help!" he yelled. I opened my eyes at the sound of more people running, but we were no longer next to the road. We weren't even outside anymore. We were in a small, lodge looking house with a beaten up couch and an older looking wooden table covered in empty beer bottles and a closed laptop. The room itself looked to be part of a lodge with its thick wooden walls. Through an open door way leading off to a bedroom and bathroom came two men who skidded to a stop when they looked at me.

"Who is she?" the taller one with brown hair that went down past his ears asked.

"She had a demon in her. Help me." The taller man nodded and I was transferred into his arms then placed on the couch where I laid. The throbbing came back for a few moments and I let out a muffled scream.

"Can't you just heal her?" the shorter man asked.

"I did." The two new men looked at the one who'd carried me with very confused faces. "I don't understand." He took a slight step backwards like he was ready to faint when the shorter of the two men pulled him into the living room with me and sat him down in a chair beside me.

The taller one crouched down beside me and looked me over. "Wh-who are you?" I whispered, when the throbbing went numb for a few moments.

"I'm Sam. That's my brother Dean," he said pointing to the shorter man who did look like he could have been his brother. "And that's Castiel. What's your name?"

"Satine." I said then paused, "What are you?" I asked.

"Wha-? We're human." They looked human but so did the other man who I could now see properly. He looked to be wearing a suit that was unbuttoned showing off a white dress shirt and blue tie all under an undone trench.

"What's he?" I asked looking at Castiel who was rubbing his tired looking face.

"He's an angel." Angels? I didn't even know they existed, but I also didn't know demons were real until one took me around for a joy ride.

My head started to go again a few moments later. Sam went into a bag that was hanging on a chair and pulled out a bottle of pills. "Here, take three." I nodded and down the three pills without a second thought. "They're heavy prescription and they'll put you to sleep, but they should help with the pain."

"Cas, just take it easy." Dean said sitting the angel down in a chair beside the couch before getting up and coming over. He stood in front of me for a moment before dumping a cup of water on my head.

"Hey!" I hissed, in pain, tired, dirty, and now all wet.

"Just a precaution. Holy water." He said before heading into the bed room and closing the door behind him. I could hear him on a phone though the door.

"Sorry about that." Sam said at a normal tone that set my head off again. I bit my tongue to hold down another scream. I could feel my face turn red from the straining.

"Sam!" Dean yelled through the door. Sam got right up and headed for his brother. The throbbing stopped again for only a very short period of time then started up again.

"UGH! What's happening to me?" I hissed through my clenched teeth.

"I don't know, but Sam and Dean can help. We'll find out what's wrong." Castiel said in a very quiet but serious voice.

"Is she coming back?"

"No, she won't come back."

"Won't or can't?!" I clenched my teeth again. If this is what she left me with, I could only imagine what she'd do if she got back in me. "Please, tell me she can't get back in." I begged, starting to feel the drugs kicking in, slowing my breathing.

"She won't." He said firmly. Knowing that he was the one who got her out of me in the first place made me trust him. But his word was the only thing I had right now to trust. He knew I was in distress and I could see that he wanted to help. Every time his eyes wandered far enough that they reached me, his face pained and he'd turn away, as if I was nothing more than a bloody wound. If he was right about the boys, maybe I could survive this.


	2. Chapter 2

2

With Satine finally in a calmer state of rest, the boys and the angel could decide what to do with her.

"Well, who else am I going to call?" Dean yelled at his brother. Neither of them had any idea where to start with this.

"I don't know Dean, but we've got to think of something. Who knows how much longer she'll last like that. Maybe Cas figured something out."

"I'll try dad's journal, see if there's anyone mentioned that can help us." Dean said sitting on his bed with a fat, leather bound journal, flipping through its pages.

"Cas, you got anything?" Sam asked quietly, looking over Satine again for any clues as to what to do.

"Well, it could be a large number of things. The only way I could lessen the number is by figuring out what demon was in her."

"She didn't say?"

"No, she just said, 'her'. Satine perceived the demon as female, but that won't get us far."

"Okay, do you have any other leads that could tell us anything?"

"I'd have to search her mind, but I don't know the effects it would have, being that she's already in this state."

"How bad could it be if you were to search her mind?"

"It could bring her to her death if I'm not careful." Castiel sighed.

"Then just be careful. The faster we learn what's causing this, the better." Castiel thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement. He sat on the edge of the couch beside Satine then gently put his hands on either temple and closed his eyes. Every few seconds Satine's lips or eyelids would twitch as Castiel went deeper and deeper into the crevice that Nora had carved into her mind. He was exploring a profound scar that was going to take a long time to heal if it ever would.

"Dad's got nothing." Dean huffed as he wandered out of the bedroom.

"Shh." Sam hush him and motioned to Castiel with his head. Dean took one look then went silent and stood beside Sam. After about five minutes, Castiel released the girl's face and fell off the couch.

"Well?" Dean inquired.

"This is bad." Castiel mumbled.

"Huh? What's bad?" Sam stood up from the table where he'd been searching the web for anything useful.

"We have to get her out of here." Castiel got up from the floor and walked towards Dean.

"What is it, Cas?"

"The demon, whoever it was, left an extensive abrasion in her head. When it was exercised, it held on by clawing at her insides."

"But it's gone, right?"

"The demon is gone, yes, but it has left her mind wide open. Every demon within a fifty mile radius can smell that wound and they'll be looking for her."

"I've got an idea." Sam and Castiel both looked at Dean. "Bobbie's house was burnt down, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, that panic room was made of iron. It wouldn't have been touched. We'd just have to dig through some of the rubble to get to the door."

"Good idea. I'll get the bags." Sam said then rushed off to the bedroom.

"Cas, it's going to be a five hour drive, but if demons are going to be on her like you say, we need to be able to get right in. I don't know how blocked that room is going to be."

"Right." And with that, Castiel was gone. He had a tendency to just poof around, not good with goodbyes might have been his reason, but now they were in a hurry. Sam came out of the room a few minutes later with his and his brother's small bags of clothes.

The 1967 Impala was loaded up with the bags and laptop, then it was time to move Satine. Dean was the stronger of the two so he was the one to carry her outside and into the back seat of the car where she was laid down. They then took off for Bobbie's old house.

They were lucky so far that Satine hadn't awoken yet. It was almost three in the morning when they had to pull over for gas. They'd been on the road for two and a half hours now and Dean had to switch with Sam. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore.

Sam was just coming back from the bathroom when Castiel popped back without a sound. Normally he couldn't track the boys with the charms they wore to keep them undetectable, but Satine's wound was like a calling card for anything supernatural. He found them with no issue whatsoever.

"So?" Dean yawned over the hood of the car.

"We can get it, but you'll have to be careful. I don't trust that some of the wood still there is stable."

"That's good enough for me." Dean sunk down into the passenger seat and put his head back, ready for a nap, while Sam took his place in the driver's seat. Castiel sat behind Dean with Satine angled awkwardly across the other two seats beside him.

"Hey, Cas? While you're back there, see if you can get the blood off her face." Sam tossed him a damp washcloth that he'd just wet in the bathroom. Castiel fumbled with the cloth before carefully dabbing it on her forehead. The cloth pushed around some of the dried blood and absorbed the rest. By the time he'd gotten most of her face done, the cloth was soiled to the point where it was just unusable, and that was just her face. Under her clothing was another unread story that was best left covered until they found a safe place to get her washed up, but that was something they didn't currently have at their disposal.

The angel just couldn't help but marvel at the pain this human had endured for who knows how long with the demon inside her, and now she was going to continue to suffer even with the demon long expelled from her body. He could still hear her screams and it made him just want to leave her with the boys who could handle it from here and just go back to heaven, where he'd just take a break for a while, but there was another part of him that felt bound to her. This part wanted to see that she'd overcome this ordeal.

When he searched her mind, he felt parts of her soul. It felt strong and bright, not unlike Sam or Dean's, who'd both been to hell and back, fighting demons for most of their lives, but no matter the strength of a soul, it could still be driven to crumbling madness given the proper circumstances.

The distant rumble of thunder brought the three a shiver of anxiety. If it was loud enough, Satine might awake and her torture would continue until they either found a cure or knocked her out again, so Sam drove as fast as he safely could to Bobbie's. Once they were there, she'd at least be safe in the one sense.

It was just before five when they arrived and the rain was just starting to taper off. Both Sam and Dean looked at the pile of rubble without fondness in their hearts. This was the home of Bobby, their second father. He'd watched over them like he would his own sons, and they missed him like one would miss their father.

"We have to hurry. I can feel something coming." Castiel said from the backseat. Sam pulled the car up close to the foundation and Dean pulled Satine out of the back, cradling her in his arms as he carefully stepped down a path the Castiel had cleared down to what was the basement. That's where the door was to Bobbie's panic room sat. He unlocked its iron door and put Satine down on the twin bed that sat against the far wall in the circular room beside a single wooden chair. A demons trap was painted in white on the floor along with many other sigils on the walls that went up about thirteen feet to a fan with another demons trap just above it made out of bent iron. Bobbie had prepped the room for just about any demonic occasion he could think of. It was too bad that most of what he knew about demons were in the books that now laid as ash around them.

Once they had two candles lit and the bags and anything they might need in the room with Satine, Sam decided they needed some sleep. Both Dean and Sam had been working a case that morning and it had been almost forty eight hours since either of them had actually slept. The panic room itself wasn't big enough for all three of them to sleep in, two would have fit comfortably if they only slept on the floor, but the bed took up a bulky amount of space.

"I'll sleep in the car. Just for a while." Sam said rubbing his eyes.

"I get driver's seat. I'll keep an eye out for anything."

"Dean, you gotta stay down here with her. We shouldn't leave her alone, not yet."

"Cas can do it."

"I-" Castiel started.

"Come on Cas. You don't sleep and when she wakes up, ask her what you need to know."

"But I-"

"You're not afraid of her, are you?"

"No, it's just... fine, I'll do it." he sighed.

"Oh Cas, if she wakes up with the pain again," which they all knew she would, "Just have her take more of the pills. The more she sleeps, the more time we have." The brother's went back to their car as the first streaks of morning light painted the horizon.

In the panic room, Castiel took a seat and just waited with her, not sure if he wanted her to wake. Sure he had questions ready for her, but to have her in pain again felt like putting her through too much. His people skills weren't very well developed and he wasn't sure how to express how sorry he was for her. He knew that a possession like the one she just been relieved of was compressing and cruel. He wished it was Sam or Dean that would be in the room with her when she awoke. They could properly comfort her, something he didn't think he was capable of. But then again, he felt like he could protect her better than they could for the time being, while she was at her most vulnerable.

It was a misty damp smell that woke me, unlike the room I'd fallen asleep in that smelled of pizza and beer. I opened my eyes to a dark room. Odd symbols drawn all over the walls. The ceiling was a vent with a fan, closed with a gate above it. The first thing that came to mind was a torture dungeon when I saw the chain cuffs hanging beside a thick iron door. It felt like a horror movie, the smell, the darkness, just everything about it and I was starting to go into panic mode.

"You're awake." the deep voice said. I sat up and looked past the foot of the skimpy bed at the man in the trench coat.

"Where am I?" I demanded. "This isn't some torture interrogation room is it?" He push his eyebrows together in confusion then shook his head. "Then where the hell am I?!"

"Safe." he breathed.

"Where's safe?"

"It doesn't matter. Now, I need you to tell me anything you know about the demon."

"Why here?"

He rolled his eyes before answering, "That demon did this to you and it's drawing any other demon right to us. They can smell that you're wounded. Now, what do you know about the demon?"

"What do _I_ know? Listen, the thing just road around inside me for a few months. I didn't get to ask questions."

"A name?"

"Nora." Just at the mention of her name my head started to pound again and I grunted, grabbing my head.

"Sam says to take more of these." Castiel took the orange bottle from his pocket and handed it to me. I looked around the room before opening the bottle. I'd just awoken in a strange room made of iron with an angel beside me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to black out again, in fear that I'd actually wake up in hell or something next time, but the throbbing was starting to get worse and worse in my ears. I took the pills and laid down again.

"How is this place safer?" I asked.

"Demons can't come in here. The sigils and traps will keep anything like them out."

"But you're in here."

"They don't work on angels." Everything around me was going from a horror movie to a dream. None of it felt real, but nothing had since Nora had found her way to me.

"You said I was wounded, will that make it easier for Nora to get back in?" I didn't trust that she wouldn't find a way. That was one thing I'd learned about her. She was persistent to get what she wanted, and she was ruthless and brutal to anyone who got in her way. I'd been something she wanted. She'd expressed her favoritism towards me on several occasions, my standing in society, my ability to blend in, and like she'd said, my will to fight. I knew she would come back for me. "Don't sugarcoat it for me. I need to know what to expect."

"Yes, she will have the advantage over you alone." I looked up at the ceiling and nodded, feeling like this fight was becoming more and more like a worthless struggle. Nora was a strong force and I found it hard to believe that Sam or Dean would be able to fight her. "Don't be scared." the angel said. I turned over to look at him now standing beside me, holding out a folded up napkin.

"Why not?" I trembled, not even realizing that I'd been crying.

"You are not alone." With just those words, I could feel his mind. "Sleep. I'll watch over you. You're safe, Satine." He said and turned back towards the chair.

"Castiel," He stopped moving then slightly turned his face towards me. "Thank you." He gave a small nod then went back to his chair. I wiped my eyes before the calmness of the drugs took me over, again.


	3. Chapter 3

Around nine, Dean came back down to the panic room with a paper bag. He let himself in and put down the food on the chair. "Anything, Cas?" he asked the angel who was now standing, staring at the sigils, thinking. "Cas?"

"Nora."

"What?"

"The demon, its name is Nora. That's what Satine said."

"Who is she? Anything we should really worry about?"

"I don't know yet. Her name is very familiar to me, but I can't remember where from." Castiel was quiet as Sam came down.

"Anything?"

"Cas says Satine told him the name, Nora." Dean said.

"Is she important?"

"He doesn't remember." That's when Castiel made a soft gasping sound then turned to Satine. "What is it?" Castiel opened Satine's eyelid gently to get a good look at her iris.

"This is my fault." the angel breathed.

"You remembered something?" Dean asked as he and Sam leaned over Castiel's shoulders to get a look at her eye.

"I should have known what kind of demon she was by her victims. These marks only prove it." They all looked at the thin red lines that were scarcely spread out around Satine's blue iris.

"Who is she?" Sam asked.

"Nora works with Crowley. Most of the resent victims were said to have been mauled by wild animals." Castiel stood up.

"Hell hounds." Sam and Dean said in unison.

"She was collecting souls for Crowley. Anyone else she killed would have just been people that were in her way."

"Alright, but what does that have to do with Satine?"

"Nora is a higher ranking demon and Satine was her vessel, one that she was matched for. When I exercised her, she held on to anything she could, ripping the inside of her apart. I should have used the demon knife on her, it would have been more humane."

"Killing Satine would have been more humane?" Sam spit.

"It would have been the only way to remove Nora without this ripple effect of suffering."

They all looked down at the young woman so didn't look to be in any pain. She looked peaceful and carefree, strong even.

"So you're saying we should just put her down now?" Dean asked, reaching for the knife in his back pocket.

"It would be the easiest way." Castiel sighed.

"Wait, there's nothing else we can do? Nothing?" Sam asked pushing Dean back.

"I didn't say that." Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes thinking that Castiel was just about to let him kill Satine, knowing that there was a way to fix her. "There is a way, but it won't be painless or easy. In fact, she is more than likely going to suffer greatly."

"She already is." Sam said running his fingers through his brown locks. All three of them knew what they were getting themselves into by agreeing to fix this, but it was kind of their job and they wanted to help her. Even the distant angel didn't want to just put her down to end it. He wanted her healthy again so that she could recover from the possession. That process within itself was going to be time consuming and tough.

"Okay, then where are we going to start?" Dean asked.

"We have to have her conscious first. In the meantime, I need you to find a spell that will allow me into her mind."

"You got it. There's a motel with a diner down the road, I can book us a room and get the Internet set up there." Sam chimed with a slight smile. Research was _his_ thing, it was what he was best at.

"Dean, you stay here then. If she wakes, keep her awake." Castiel said with an idea then he was gone. The brothers looked at each other and shook their heads, used to the angel's ways, but still annoyed with them.

"I'll call you when I find something."

"Hey, see if the diner has any pie." Dean called as Sam took the keys and headed up to the car.

The next few hours were quiet and boring for Dean. He sat in the chair and would occasionally fall asleep but wake right up as he started to fall forward. It wasn't until one that he really took a look at Satine and asked himself about her. Who was she, really? Why was _she_ Nora's vessel? Could Castiel actually fix her, or could any of them? And then of course, would she date him? But that's just how Dean worked.

About an hour later Satine started to stir and Dean started to get a bit nervous. He had no answers for her, nothing to tell her to make her feel safe, no promises that she would get better, nothing.

I could feel my body getting restless when I opened my eyes. I could still smell the damp room and could see the iron walls so I knew that this time I hadn't been moved.

"Hey, you hungry?" Dean asked from the chair beside the bed.

"Yeah, a bit." I sat up slowly and yawned as Dean passed me a white, greasy, paper bag.

"It's cold by now, sorry." I went through the bag to find a cold burger and limp fries, but it was food none the less, so I dug in. I could still feel the slight throbbing in my ears, but it didn't hurt too bad.

"Where's Castiel?" I asked after I swallowed my first half of old tasting burger.

"Who knows,"

"He just got up and left?"

"He does that lot. You get used to it after a while. So, how do you feel?"

"Sore."

"Yeah, this will do it to ya." he kicked a leg of the mettle bed frame. "So where are you from?"

"Well, I was born in Maine, but I've lived in New York for most of my life. I lived with my brother and uncle for the last fifteen years."

"They must be worried about you." I shook my head. "What living with them for fifteen years, you don't think they're looking for you?"

"I know they're not. My brother is addicted to every drug known to man. He's a high school drop-out who lives in our basement. I haven't seen him sober in five years."

"What about your uncle?"

"No, he wouldn't be looking either." Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore and I put the half bag of fries on the floor beside my feet.

"Sorry, I didn't know-"

"I just don't want to talk about it." I barked then laid back down. Family wasn't something I had on my side. Castiel said Nora had the advantage over me _alone_, and that's exactly what I was. Castiel was wrong that I wasn't. This wasn't their fight, and I sure as hell was about to drag them in it. Once I was healed, I planned on leaving them. As far as I knew, I owed them for keeping me hidden from the other demons or whatever else was out there, ready to take me over again.

One thing I did know for sure was that I'd make Nora pay for this. What she did to all those people, to me, she wasn't getting away Scott free. Surely demons had to have weaknesses, I mean Nora feared Castiel so maybe he knew some that I could use against her. I'd learn what to do and I'd find _her._ I wasn't going to cower in fear, not from her.

"Hey, don't fall asleep again." Dean said above me.

"I'm not sleeping. Just resting my eyes."

"No, I'm serious, don't fall asleep. Castiel needs you awake when he gets back."

"But you said he just leaves all the time. How long will he be gone?"

"I don't know. I'm just telling you what he told me."

"Alright." I sighed and rolled over onto my side facing the wall.

It was quiet in the room for God knows how long. I was bored out of my aching mind as Dean nodded on and off for what seemed like forever. My head seemed to stay at a constant dull throbbing that I could easily ignore for most of the time, until out of nowhere, the pounding between my ears kicked up and I had to curl up into a ball to keep from screaming.

"Whoa, are you alright?" Dean jumped out of his chair and stood beside the bed. "What happened?"

"Dean, move out of the way." another voice said. I forced my eyes open just in time to see Castiel push in front of Dean to get closer to me. "Dean, water." he ordered and Dean rummaged through his bag until he found and pulled out a half full bottle of water. Castiel took it and poured it all into a small wooden bowl. "Hold down her legs." Dean looked questioningly at Castiel who was dropping powders and seeds into the bowl. "We don't have much time before she passes out." Dean nodded then held my legs flat on the bed while I was pressing my hands against the sides of my skull. Castiel put one arm around the back of my neck and head, lifting it up high enough for me to drink the hot, foul tasting liquid. As Castiel poured it into my mouth, he was speaking in his odd tongue close to the bowl. By the time I'd gotten it all down, I was choking on the last of the floating seeds.

"What was that?" Dean asked, letting my legs go.

"Don't let go yet!" Castiel demanded, grabbing hold of my wrists and holding them down on both sides of my head. I didn't understand why they were holding me down until a powerful shaking started from my chest and moved into my limbs and neck. It was like I was convulsing, but without the vomit or foam. The tremors went on for a solid thirty seconds before they finally stopped. Dean and Castiel let go then stood up straight to catch their breath.

"What was that?" Dean huffed between breaths.

"It's an old remedy for detriment of soul. It isn't exactly what we need, but it'll numb the pain for a while."

"Thanks Castiel." I muttered with my heart still racing. Just then Dean's phone started to ring in his breast pocket.

"Yeah... no, she's awake. Cas just brought her kool-ade... right... okay, bring it down... what kind of pie did they have?... awesome. Have them put a slice away for me. Better yet, two." he smiled before hanging his phone up.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow.

"What? Pie feeds the soul." I rolled my eyes then went back to waiting. This time for Sam. When the car rolled up outside, Dean and Castiel went up to see him, leaving me alone in my iron cage. It might have been keeping me safe, but it was a cage none the less. I paced around the room while I waited for them to return like a dog. Anything to stretch my legs, but also like a dog, I wanted to roam around for a while.

Sam came back down when the sun was starting to set with another bag of food. "Thought you'd want something that wasn't going to kill you." I went through the bag to find a boxed salad and a turkey sandwich. "I know how old burgers can get after a while."

"It's when they're cold that I hate them, but sure, salad is a nice mix up. Thank you Sam."

"No problem. So, how do you feel?"

"I can feel it because I know it's there, but it is tolerable."

"Listen, we'll stay here with you for a few more hours, then Dean and I are going back to the motel. We are working on some charms and hex bags to keep you hidden from anything, but if you need anything, Cas has our numbers in his phone." Okay, that made me laugh. "What?"

"Castiel, the angel, has a cell phone?"

"I know, that's what we thought at first too."

"I really can't thank you guys enough for what you're doing."

"Don't worry about it. Just try to take it easy in here and rest up."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but there's not much else to do." I laughed.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I'd given you one of Bobbie's books to read, but as you can see, ash isn't something most of us are literate in."

"Who was Bobbie anyway?"

"He was another hunter, like us and our father. But sometimes he was more than that. He was like our father too."

"What happened to him, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He was shot."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright."

"If you two want to go now, it's okay. You have things to do, and your brother seems excited about the pie." When Sam stopped laughing, he looked at me with questioning eyes. "It's alright."

He nodded then headed for the door. "If you really need them, the pills are by the candle with a bottle of water."

"Thanks Sam." And with that, I was alone again, so I laid back down on the bed and just closed my eyes. There was nothing here to do, no one to talk to, so I was better of just sleeping the time away.

A little while after Sam left, the pulsing came back to my head and I cringed, but after a few moments, it faded away again. "Are your legs sore?" I jumped at the voice that broke the silence.

"Holy crap! Can I get a warning next time you try to give me a heart attack?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause your cardiac muscle to cease its beating." I had to think about it before I realized that he was joking.

"You know, when I think angel, your face doesn't come to mind."

"This isn't my face."

"Huh?"

"This is my vessel, Jimmy Novak. You wouldn't be able to see my real face without causing an eminence amount of damage to yourself."

"Oh, I see." Talking to an angel felt weird. I wasn't sure what to say. There was a long quiet between us before I remembered what I was going to ask him. "Castiel?"

"Yes,"

"What do demons fear?"

"Their masters, death, pain, the same as humans. Why?"

"Just curious." If it was going to be that simple, all I had to do was find her boss, the one she'd been collecting the souls for. Nora feared her boss because he would punish her if she messed up, but then why did she fear Castiel? Maybe he knew how to kill her, but if he did, then why didn't he do it when he had a chance?

There was another long silence. "Do you have a plan, an idea how to fix this?"

"Sam and Dean are finding a way. The basic idea is known by us three."

"So yes."

"Yes."

"It's going to be painful, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And my chance of death, it isn't low, is it?"

"No." he answered after a deep breath.

"Okay."

"No argument? No fight to find another way?"

"No, if you're not giving up, then neither will I." He didn't say anything else, so I just rolled over to face the wall again. "You're not giving up on me, not yet." I mumbled to myself, then I felt a slight breeze on my cheek so I turned over to find the angel standing next to me.

"I'm not going to give up."

"So are you like a guardian angel or something?"

"No, but it's my fault that you're like this."

"No it's not." I sat up. "Castiel, it's Nora's fault. She did this to me, not you."

He looked down to speak. "I would have expelled her differently if I knew who she was. You would have been fine if I did. I carelessly used the normal exorcism, but she gave clear signs to say who she was. I ignored them and you are paying the price."

"Well, you're trying to fix it," I wasn't sure if I believed him that this was his fault and not the luck of the draw. "That's good enough for me." Already he was showing that he wanted to fix this, so I couldn't place blame on anyone but Nora. I reached out and touched his hand, letting him know that I trusted him and if he was right, forgave him, but he scooted away at the touch of my hand, like I'd scared him. "I'm sorry." I said as he turned back to his chair.

I laid back down and just drifted back to my world of peace, hoping for sleep to carry me to tomorrow.

She was asleep, just there next to him, but he didn't understand the trust she had in him. He'd explained to her that it was his fault that she was broken and in pain, but she trusted him anyway. Why would she do that? What had he done to prove himself to her? He felt like that was the only important thing at the moment, proving himself to her. He wanted to earn the trust she had already given him.

A single cold wind blew down the vent into the room, making Satine shiver in her sleep. The angel took notice of this and immediately took off his coat and laid it down across her body. Maybe this was where he could start.


	4. Chapter 4

4

It wasn't lights of morning, or pain that woke me. This time it was comfortably. Under my head was a folded suit jacket and on me was a spread out trench coat, keeping me warm. I looked towards the chair to make sure I wasn't yet alone, and maybe just to make sure the angel was still here, and sure enough, there he was, leaning forward in the chair, missing the two articles of clothing that we now part of my bed. I couldn't tell if he was asleep, or not. I didn't even know if angels slept, but Castiel didn't look conscious to me, not in any way, so I kept quiet to be sure I didn't wake him and just closed my eyes again, sinking deeper and deeper into this new feeling around me.

It wasn't until the early orange splatters or sunrise that I just couldn't keep my eyes closed anymore. I was full of an overcoming feeling of restlessness. I'd slept for almost two days now and I couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't even want to sit still, but where could I go? They'd told me to stay here where I'd be safe, and I didn't want to push leaving this room unless they thought it was safe, but I could shake this feeling out of my legs. I sighed and rolled over in my quiet bed as I heard the sound of a car roll up outside.

Dean was the one to open my door this time. "Are you ready for breakfast?" he asked with a grin.

"Depends on what it is."

"Home style eggs, bacon, maybe some pie?"

"All right, I'll take you up on that."

"Awesome, car'll be waiting outside."

"Wait, I can go?" I stood, suddenly full of energy.

"Cas just has to hook you up with a quick spell. The rest of the charms are in the car."

"Spell?" Dean went out without answering me as Castiel replaced him in the room with me.

"You should probably sit down." I sat. "This will hurt a bit." he said looking me in the eye and I nodded. I was ready to get out of here, but I wanted to be careful too. Castiel put one hand gently on my shoulder and the other on top of my head. He closed his eyes and I could feel an energy shift between us and a stinging sensation on my insides. It only lasted a few seconds then Castiel released me. "No angel can find you now."

"I didn't know they'd be an issue too."

"We're just taking precautions."

"Does that mean you won't be able to find me either?"

"No, I won't." I nodded then handed his clothes back to him.

"Thank you."

He looked down at the clothes in his hands before saying, "You're welcome." then turning away and swiftly walking out of the room. I followed him up to the car where Dean was standing, waiting.

"Here, put these on." Dean handed me a necklace with different odd looking charms on it and two bracelets with a bunch of different herbs weaved into the leather band. "They'll hide you from some things. Sam has hex bags back at the room that will help more."

"Alright." I said getting into the passenger seat of the black Impala.

"Cas, the motel is down the road about two miles and just two right-"

"I'll just ride with you." Dean cocked his head to the side at Castiel. "It'll be safer in case we run into trouble."

"It's two miles away." Castiel didn't say anything, just got into the backseat.

We drove to the motel with a diner in the front, and pulled up in front of room 9. When we got out, Dean headed for the room instead of the diner. "Breakfast?" I asked, my stomach growling like a hungry wolf under my shirt.

"Might want to shower before we go anywhere with people around." He was right. I smelled horrid, I was sweaty, and my hair must have been a mess. Being clean was something I forgot about with Nora inside of me. She didn't often need to clean us up. We didn't get dirty.

Dean unlocked the room with two full size beds, cheery blue wall paper, and a large tube TV. Sam was sitting at a little table in the back with three chairs around it, on his laptop. "Hey." I waved as we walked in. He gave me a small nod then went back to the computer.

"Bathroom is over there." Dean pointed to the back of the room. I went into the little bathroom and turned the shower on and took a look at myself in the mirror for the first time in a few months, and it was truly a sight that I didn't enjoy. My hair that was once long and beautiful was in a tangled mess of dried blood at my scalp, tangled in small knots from sleeping with it down and not brushing it. I peeled off my black sweater and white tank top to find dried blood caked on my shoulders, chest, and side from ribs that had been broken then healed, cuts that were now mended, and bruises that had faded away. My legs were just a torn up looking, but the overall conclusion was that Castiel had managed to heal it all. My body was fine, even after everything. I was okay. The only thing left to fix was my head.

The warm shower felt good, feeling all the blood and dirt being washed away gave me a sense of purity. My hair was untangled by my fingers as they pushed conditioner through the wet strands that were back on their way to perfection. At the bottom of the tub sat bits of dirt and puddles of rehydrated blood. Seeing this only fuelled my hatred towards Nora and I was becoming more and more sure of the want, need, to get her. I wasn't about to let this happen to anyone else. She had to go. Thinking about her again just off the slight throbbing in my head for a few moments, then it stopped as I turned off the water.

I grabbed my towel and dried off then took a look at the pile of soiled clothing at my feet. I bit my lip at the thought of having to put them back on, but I didn't have much of a choice. I grabbed my pants and sat on the toilet to pull them on when I felt something other than toilet lid under my cheeks. I got up quickly to see a set of fresh clothes on the seat. A pair of dark blue, boot-cut jeans, a dark red blouse that buttoned up the front, and a black sweater, much like the one I'd just taken off. This made me smile, this new outfit that fit perfectly and was something that I'd normally wear. Only thing was that I never heard anyone come into the room to drop them off, then I knew exactly who it had been.

I finished getting dressed then went back out into the main room, where Dean and Castiel were sitting on the beds watching TV, and Sam was still on his laptop.

"Whoa. You clean up nice." Dean said with his mouth open. Then both Castiel and Sam looked at me, Sam with just about the same reaction as Dean.

"Hey, no flirting yet. It's too early in the morning for that." I giggled.

"Breakfast?" Sam shrugged. I put my arm out, pointing to the door as Dean turned off the TV and lead everyone outside. "Here, keep these in your pockets." Sam handed me two little cloth bags tied with string that I put into my jeans pocket.

"Thanks for the charms."

"No problem, but you might want to take it a little further soon." He pulled down his shirt collar to show me a tattoo of a black sun with a star in the center. "These keep us from getting possessed. Dean has one too."

"I'll look into it." I said closing the room door behind me. "Castiel, thanks for the clothes." I stepped beside him.

"Do you like them?" he asked with an unsure tone.

"I do." I smiled as we headed into the diner.

"What do you say, Cas? Safe?" Dean asked looking over the room that held no more than twenty people who were all too busy reading the paper or dug too far into their eggs to even take notice of us.

"I don't see anything in need of worry."

"Good, let's eat." Dean beamed and led us to a booth that over looked the parking lot through pink blinds. I noticed that he grabbed a long look at the dessert stand on our way to the table, and when we sat down he took one quick look at the menu before looking around for our waitress.

"Heard the pie was no good here." I mumbled to the menu in my face with a smirk.

"Well, I don't know who you've been listening to, because I had two slices last night, and it was _perfect_." he said as if it had been a taste of heaven. I looked over the menu for a few seconds, but I already had a good idea of what I wanted and was ready.

An older woman in a faded red uniform and apron with a name tag that read Molly, came up to take our orders after about five minutes. "Welcome to Rocky's, what can I get for you all?"

"I'll have the meat platter," Dean started.

"How would you like your eggs?"

"Over easy, coffee, and another slice of the cherry pie." She nodded then looked to me, going around the table.

"I'll have the cheese and bacon omelet with orange juice."

"What kind of toast?"

"White please." She nodded again then looked across the table to Castiel who had been staring off into space outside the window since we'd walked sat down.

"Sir?" she asked. He didn't snap back to us, so Sam answered for him, just ordering him a coffee. "And for you?" she asked Sam.

"Pancakes and coffee, please."

"You got it, I'll be right back with your drinks." she said, collecting our menus.

"Does he ever eat?" I asked.

"Who, Cas? No, not really." Dean answered.

"Sleep?"

"Only when his angel powers are taken away."

"Doesn't his vessel need it?"

"We have no idea how any of that works." Just then, Molly came by with our drinks and not long after, our food. I dug right into the omelet and it was _heaven_. I hadn't had a proper meal in months and this was finally it. The bits of bacon in the eggs and cheese just made me close my eyes and smile. It was so good, I accidentally let out a whine in my throat, and immediately regretted it when I heard Sam and Dean put their forks down and look towards me.

"Whoa, Satine, are you eating or- ouch!" Dean barked and I could tell Sam had just kicked him under the table. I smiled again then went back to my food, this time, silently, that is until the pie arrived and Dean just purred like a kitten the whole time.

When we were done, we all headed back to the room. Dean was on the phone with someone and Sam was back on his laptop leaving me and Castiel to watch the TV. Sam had said that he thought it was safe enough for me to stay here with them for a few hours, but it'd be better if I still slept in the panic room.

"I don't understand," Castiel said as an episode of Law and Order SVU ended. "What about the two sons? With no mother or father, where will they go?"

"They'd go to any family left or foster care. It isn't fair, but that how it works here." I sighed then laid back down on the bed.

"Yeah, hold on a sec," Dean said and pushed Sam away from the computer. "Yeah, I found it. Okay, thanks Garth."

"What'd he say?" Sam asked.

"He said to look at this spell." Castiel got up from the bed and went over to the computer. "Would this work, Cas?"

After a few moments of him reading it over, he said, "Yes, this—this is what we need." And just in time too. My head started to pound again just as Castiel went off to, I could only guess, gather ingredients. My head stopped again and we sat around for a little while, waiting, and I started to grow nervous. I had no idea what any of this entailed and Castiel had said that it was going to be painful, let alone the possibility that it might kill me.

Dean and I were half way through an episode of CSI when there was a knocking at the door. "Sammie, door." Dean said lazily, clearly not getting up to answer it.

"Really Dean?" Sam got up and looked through the door hole before opening it up.

"Delivery for err... Sam and Dean Winchester?" a man in a brown uniform said.

"That's us."

"Sign here please." the man said, handing Sam a clipboard, then rolling in a handcart into the room with a large box on it.

"Did you order something?" Dean asked Sam.

"No, not that I remember." Just then the door slammed shut by itself.

"No order, but a delivery." the man said, looking at us. His eyes scoped out Dean then they turned black.

"Shit!" Dean grunted, then ran at the man with a funny looking knife drawn. With one quick flick of the man's wrist, Dean was sent flying into the wall beside the TV. Next it was Sam's turn to run at the man as he pulled out a small flask from his pocket and dumped it on the man's head before he could push Sam away. The man screamed as the clear liquid burned his face and hands, giving Dean just enough time to get back up and stab him in the side. His eyes lit up for a few seconds then blacked out and closed when Dean withdrew the blade.

"What was that?!" I howled.

"A demon." Sam breathed.

"I thought these charms were keeping me hidden."

"Honey, we could smell you the moment you drove into town." We looked to the doorway that was now wide open to a tall and skinny black women who also flashed a pair of black eyes.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Dean rolled his eyes before charging at the woman. Sam dumped more of the liquid on her just as Dean sliced her arm and she blew out and fell to the ground. "Is that it? Is that all of them?"

"Nope, there are about ten more just standing outside." Sam said as he was pouring a salt line across the window ledge and another one across the floor below the door.

"Damn it Cas, now would be a good time to get your feathery ass back here." I wasn't sure if it was the stress or the spell leaving my body, but my head was starting to pound yet again and I couldn't help but grab at my skull.

"How many are there?" another voice asked from the table. I sat up to see Castiel putting down a few odds and ends on the table top.

"Too many to fight with her here." Dean said. "She needs to get back to the panic room."

"Cas, we'll meet you there." Sam said getting out another flask. Castiel nodded then walked over and put and hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes then opened them. We were back in the dark panic room. My head pounding away like a hammering nail.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's my head again," I hissed through my teeth.

"I can't do the spell alone. We have to wait for Sam and Dean."

"Can't you make another like the other one?"

"No, your body can't take any more of that." This was useless. It was only getting worse and worse. It felt like it was pounding harder and harder, and soon enough, I couldn't take it anymore and everything went dark.

Satine went quiet and her lifeless body fell to the floor below her. "Satine?" the angel asked, but she didn't replay. She didn't move or grab at her head, she was completely still. He bent down beside her with worry in his heart, putting his ear down to her chest then drew in a breath of relief when he could hear her heart still beating, faintly. Castiel carefully put his arms around her and lifted her onto the bed. He knew she didn't have long before it would be too late, and he was starting to fear for her. There wasn't much time left. He would have left to help the boys but he knew better than to leave her alone, not anymore. Maybe it would have been okay yesterday, but she was almost at her braking point and he knew it. All he could do at the moment was sit beside her and wait as precious time ticked by.

It wasn't more than an hour before the sound of a car drew closer. Now he could finish collecting what he needed for the spell, knowing that she wasn't alone anymore. When Sam and Dean got into the room with the things Castiel had left in the motel, he'd already left. Dean sat down on the bed beside Satine and pushed on her shoulder gently to wake her, but she didn't even stir.

"Sam," Sam looked over at her and Dean shook his head.

"Is she breathing?"

"Yeah, but she won't get up."

"Come on, Cas." Dean breathed towards the sky, hoping that he'd hurry.

The boys sat around for almost another hour before Castiel finally got back to them with his arms full of odd objects from all over the world. He was clearly out of breath from traveling the world but there was no time to waste. Sam opened up his laptop to look over the spell one more time and read the Latin out loud for Castiel and Dean to hear. Castiel was throwing different herbs into another wooden bowl along with ashes and bits of animals and plants, panting as he went along as fast as he could.

"Cas, hold on. Take a break."

"No, Dean!" Castiel looked him in the eye, "We don't have time to wait."

"Alright." Dean said submissively. "What do you need me to do?"

"Sit her up." Dean nodded then moved the limp body so that it was leaning up against the wall behind the bed. Once Castiel had everything in the bowl, he set it on the chair that was now pulled up to the bed, then took Dean's lighter and set fire to the mess of objects, and sat in front of Satine who had opened her eyes and mouth as the smoke from the fire filtered into her. She wasn't awake but now she was open for Castiel. He said something in Latin then put his hands on her temples again and closed his eyes.

Castiel was no longer in his vessel but was now wandering around in Satine's head, looking for the leaking wound that was drawing all the attention of demons to her. It didn't take long to find the trail of energy that lead him right to it. It was like a large crack in a wall, chipping at its paint, as well as a weed constricting around a tree, taking all the sunlight and killing the tree. It was a festering wound full of a black poison that was infecting the space around it, making every waking moment for Satine pure torture.

Castiel was surprised at how well she'd taken it, now seeing the full extent of the injury. This rooted fault, twisted and weaved into her very existence, but now it was time to fix this. He put out his healing touch to the wound. He put all his strength and energy into mending this lesion.

Dean and Sam were only able to stand by and wait for a sign that something was happening, that the spell was working, but neither Castiel's or Satine's body moved. Hours pasted by with nothing. Neither brother spoke in fear that they might disturb the spell, and neither brother left in case something went wrong.

It wasn't until it was dark that Castiel was back in his vessel. They knew when he fell backwards off the bed, taking heavy, labored breaths.

"Well?" Dean asked.

"We have to wait and see now." he took a breath, "I did what I could, but the rest is up to her." Sam helped him to his feet and sat him down in the chair where he leaned over to get his breath. When he sat up, both Sam and Dean noticed how tired he looked. His eyes were sunken in and not in focus.

"Cas, are you alright?" Sam asked.

"I'll be fine. I just need-" he shut up and they all looked at Satine as her body started to react again.

I took deep breaths and opened my eyes to a dark room, but I had to wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness before I could see anything. When they finally started to work again, I could see Sam, Dean, and Castiel were all here, still in the panic room. "Hey, guys." I said in a rusty voice. Immediately all three of the looked relieved and they all smiled, even Castiel who let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "What happened?"

"Well, Cas did it." Sam smiled. "How does it feel?"

"I can feel where it was, but it doesn't hurt. Not anymore." I was so happy, but lethargic. I was fixed and it was all thanks to these boys, and their angel. "I can't thank you enough. All of you. I'll make it up to you in any way."

"Please, it's part of our job." Sam tried to be modest.

"Yeah, you just get some rest." Dean said. I nodded then laid back down on the bed. "Cas, you earned yourself a beer." Dean slapped him on the shoulder, but Castiel shook his head.

"Not now." Sam said, "Look at him. He's just as tired as Satine is." Castiel was still leaned over in the chair, breathing heavily.

"Cas, you okay?"

"Sam's right. I just need to rest for a while."

"Alright, then we'll see you two in the morning." Sam said taking his leave.

"Take it easy you two." Now we were alone. Both of us so tired from that adventure. I could feel him when he was inside, walking through my mind. I could feel him the whole time, and now here he was, the angel that'd saved my life, about to fall out of a chair, sound asleep. I got up and carefully moved him from the chair and put him on the bed, where he rolled onto his side and curled up, almost like he was in a nest. He was a sweet thing and I owed him this much, so I took the chair, then soon moved to the floor and passed out again into a dream filled land of happiness.

Castiel awoke to the sound of an owl, echoing down the iron room. He sat up and realized that he'd been asleep, and not only asleep, but dreaming. But angels don't sleep, so how could they dream? They couldn't, but there she was none the less. The blue eyed, blond haired figure wandered into his dreams where she danced in the shadowy, snow covered woods while he chased after her, calling out her name. She silently pranced ahead of him so that he had to run to keep up. It wasn't until they'd gotten to a clearing that he was finally able to see her face. She'd stopped right in the middle of the clearing as the moonlight shimmered off her pale skin that was uncovered by a flowing white dress. The waves in her light hair tangoed as she spun around and gazed at him. Her sharp eyes of a sunny winter sky pierced through him, sending shivers up his spine. A good ten paces away, she slowly moved towards him, silently.

Once she was right in front of him, she stopped and looked him over before bring her soft right hand to his face, where she caressed his cheek. He didn't flinch or turn away from her or her touch. He stood still as her other hand moved around his neck and pulled him down, closer and closer to her face, until she was able to press her hungry lips to his. Again, he didn't flinch, but instead, pressed into her, slowly encircling her in his arms. He could feel her warmth in his chest and was sure that every flake of snow around them would melt instantly.

When she pulled away, he stood up straight and explored her peaceful face, that is, until the chilling song of a lone wolf haunted the woods around them. She turned away in fear, looking in every direction franticly, but soon she stopped and stood still. He walked around her to see her face, to assure her everything was alright, but she wouldn't look at him. Her eyes were sealed shut. He lifted her chin up to face him, and when she was paused in place, her eyes jetted open.

He backed away, startled by the deep black pools that had taken over her beautiful blue eyes, and now he knew that it was no longer her. Her body snapped backwards and let out a blood curtailing screech as the evil smoke drifted from her mouth into the sky. Her body was stiff as it fell to the frozen earth below. He wasn't fast enough to catch her and she hit the ground, cold and lifeless. Her bosom didn't rise or fall with breaths, nor did her heart beat in her chest. Everything she ever was or ever would be was gone, shattered and stolen by the true evil that was long gone.

That was when the owl's hoot was heard and he was able to awake from the lonely nightmare. His body shook and his chin quivered at the thought that any of that might have been real, that such a pure and beautiful creature could have been broken and taken that easily. But he knew that only a dream could be that safe, that something like _her_ could be protected from something like _that_ forever.

He looked down at the floor beside the bed to where the enchanting women from his dream was laying still, breathing deep, blissful breaths. Sure she wasn't dancing in the moonlight in a long flowing white dress, hair golden hair falling in place behind her, but she was just as beautiful. He could remember how the moonlight shined off her hair, giving her a halo of light. The halo added to the calmness of her face and grace of her soul only made her seem more like an angel than a human to him. An angel who didn't know what she was.


	5. Chapter 5

5

I rolled over to the sound of crumpling paper close by when I finally drifted from my sleep. Dean had his mouth full of something greasy and was just throwing away the wrapper when he'd finished the last bite.

"How can you eat that every day?" I mumbled.

"Hey, she lives." he chewed.

"Yeah, she does." I sat up and stretched then I realized that I was on the bed, not the floor. I wasn't going to bother asking Dean how I'd gotten up here, I figured someone came down here and found me on the floor then just moved me. It wasn't a big deal. "So what next?" I asked.

"Take you home."

"Then I'm all better?"

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Then, yes." I felt a sadness take over my heart, knowing that I had to go home now. I had to leave them so they could get on with their lives, and so I could try and get on with my own, but I didn't want to. Not after what I'd seen, what I now knew was out there. Home wasn't the place for me before, but now, it would be even worse. After everything that's happened, home was going to be very different and I was almost scared to face it, but Dean was right. It was time to go home.

"How far away are we from New York?"

"Doesn't matter. Cas will take you. You'll be there in just a few seconds."

"Right,"

"He'll be back soon."

We sat for a little while, chatting while we waited. I gave Dean my cell number before Sam called from outside, "Dean, it's time."

"Alright, let's go." he said getting up. I followed him outside and upstairs to the impala where Sam was standing. Castiel was on the other side of the car, waiting. I looked at the brothers, trying to read their faces. They both looked sad, but pleased too, like they'd done a good job, which they had.

I went up to Sam and hugged him, "Thank you." I said into his ear then kissed him on the cheek.

"No problem, Satine." he said gently.

I went up to Dean and did the same and he said, "Watch out for yourself, okay? Call if something happens." I nodded, feeling a lump growing in my throat. I hated goodbyes.

Castiel walked over to my side then asked, "Ready?" I nodded then waved goodbye to the brothers who were getting into the impala. "Where are we going?"

"Watertown, New York." I gave him my street address and Castiel put a hand on my shoulder and I closed my eyes. When I opened them everything was different. The impala was gone along with the boys. They were replaced with an old two story apartment with a bent roof and cracked upstairs windows. This was what I'd known as home and nothing looked like it had changed. I sighed as a chilly wind blew past my face, taking strands of hair and blowing them across my face. I tucked them behind my ear then turned to the angel.

"I owe you more than anyone. Thank you getting rid of her and fixing what she did." I tried to smile, but I couldn't help the frown that was taking over my cheeks.

"I told you that this was-"

"Thank you." I repeated.

"You're welcome." he said then I turned back to the house and sighed before turning back around to Castiel, but he was gone. I was all alone in the middle of the empty street. The other apartment buildings around me looked just as grim as ours did. The trees were bare and the ground was muddy from the recently melted snow. Broken down cars sat in front of more than just one of the houses. It was all so gloomy, but this is where I had to pick up the pieces. It was time to try again. I walked up to the front steps of the creaky gray porch and pulled out the key from under the faded welcome mat.

Inside the air had the same musty, staleness that I'd come to know. A bent coat rack greeted me in the front hall beside a table full of mail that no one had gone through and just let pile up. The white walls were dusty and stained in most places next to the floors that hadn't been swept in years. The nasty rug below my feet was covered in cat hair and muddy footprints. Wilted flowers on the table at the end of the hall dropped flowers all around it.

I opened up a door under the stairs that lead down to the basement and started to head down into the dark room that my brother had turned into his own bat cave, full of gaming sets, CDs, and dirty laundry, let alone the towers of unwashed dishes that sat on a coffee table next to a sofa that had become his "bed".

"Jim!" I called as I made my way down the stairs. No answer. "Jim, I'm home!" Still nothing. Where was that idiot? The bathroom door was open and his TV was on so he had to be upstairs in the kitchen, ridding the cabinets that had to be just about empty. I went back upstairs and looked around the foul smelling kitchen but still no Jim. "Jim?" I called again when I heard someone one in the living room that were just past the stairs. I followed the sound to the living room that had been the cleanest part of the house, other than my room that no one else was allowed in. The dark green walls held a few pictures of flowers and ducks in the water not far from a cabin my uncle owned on Lake Frense, about a seven hour car ride from here that we stayed at a lot in the summer.

I stood in the entryway as I looked at a man who was standing in front of my brother in the middle of the room with his back to me. "Jim?" Both men were silent until my brother stepped back then crashed to the floor. "Jim!" The man in front of him turned around to me and I readied myself to run.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I spit at him.

"Such harsh language from a pretty girl." he said in a British accent. He was an average sized man, short black beard covered his throat, slight balding on top of his head, and dark eyes made him look like a normal man. The only thing that threw me off was his suit. He was in a dark suit, tie and dress shirt. Well the suit, and the bloody knife that he was whipping off with a napkin.

I sent a quick text before I turned to run when he said, "Not a smart move. All I want to do is talk." I looked at my brother's body and figured that he wanted more than just to talk. "Sit." he suggested. I followed his order and sat on the couch.

"Why did you kill my brother?" I did my best to keep the anger out of my voice, but I just couldn't do it.

"Oh, him? Pity, I know, but he was just not working out the way we'd planed." He spoke calmly and proper.

"What?"

"Your brother here, was supposed to be a vessel, like you," he said like he'd just remembered, "But things went south fast a few years ago."

"A few years ago? Then why are you here now?"

"See I've got a demon missing and I kind of need her back to get to work now."

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

"Being her vessel, I figured she'd still be in you, but looks like the place has been abandoned for a while now."

"Yeah, after she tore my head apart."

"How'd she get out?" he asked, picking up a tea cup from the china cupboard, that he'd filled with tea, and took a sip.

"Angels."

"Ang-... which one this time?" he covered his face with annoyance.

"What does it matter?"

"I've been having issues with one in particular lately and he's becoming a heavenly pain in my ass." I could see that his mood was starting to sour at the talk of angels.

"Castiel." answered. "But I'm not telling you where he's hiding."

"Wouldn't be any help anyways. I'm sure you know by now that he had a tendency of fleeing when things get tough." He looked at his watch, then took one last sip from the teacup. "Well, this has been fun..."

"So are you going to just kill me now?"

"Kill you? Why would I do that?"

"You're a demon. That's kinda what you people do."

"Okay, see now you're just coming across as hateful. No, I've got bigger plans for you, princess. And, I'm the king of hell for your information." he gloated. "Let's go." He took a hold of my wrist and before I was able to get one last look of my brother we were in a whole 'nother room, just me and the king of hell. This week was just getting better and better.

"Cas?" Sam asked.

"It wasn't just a demon." Castiel said now that he was back from checking Satin's apartment over.

"Nora?"

"Crowley." he sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be good.

"Crowley?" Dean and Sam both asked.

"Yes."

"Not one hour and she's already..." Dean was mumbling to himself.

"Great, so now what do we do?" Sam asked, more to himself than anyone else.

"Well, first we have to figure out why Crowley would want her." Dean answered.

"Nora." Castiel said solemnly.

"Nora?" Sam asked.

"He is trying to get her vessel back. That is the only reasonable explanation for why he'd want Satine."

"Then we just have to find him. We've done it before, we can do it again." Dean said, sitting back in his chair.

"We don't have another choice, we have to get her out of there." Sam got up and loaded up his bag, getting ready to head out, again.

"I'll go back and see if I can find anything that could lead us to where he might have taken her." And with that, Castiel was gone off to find clues.

Back in Satine's home, Castiel looked around the body that had been leaking a puddle of blood on the dark green carpet in the living room. He'd looked around the house, thoroughly for a good five minutes before he found a napkin that Crowley had used to clean the blade he'd killed Jim with. The napkin held a light blue logo for a hotel. This had to have been where he'd taken Satine.

Castiel went back to the motel where the boys were and handed Dean the napkin.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Crowley used it to clean off her brother's blood." Castiel deduced.

"Is he alive?" Sam asked. Castiel didn't respond, giving Sam his answer. He opened up his laptop and searched for the hotel, Misty Creek. "Here it is."

"How far?" Dean leaned over his brother's shoulder.

"Not very, about a hundred miles or so."

"Good, let's go." Dean grabbed his bag then headed out the door to the Impala.

"Here we are, sweet cheeks. Home sweet home." the devil beside me grinned. I yanked my wrist from him before taking a look around the large, dark room.

"This is a warehouse. Home?"

"Until we get my demon back, it will be for you." he said walking towards a smaller room that looked to hold a desk with a lamp and papers on it. "Oh, and let's get this out of the way now." he spun around, "If you are thinking about escaping, just remember that when my henchmen haul your ass back here, it won't be _this_ easy. And if you're planning on telling your friend, Castiel, where you are, know that I have this place surrounded. My boys don't take kindly to angels, so if you want to keep him and his boys in one piece, I suggest leaving him out of this. And if it's too late for that, send him away and tell him that his old friend, Crowley says hello." he waved hello on his way to the desk.

I looked at the few windows and could see shadows passing by. This man, Crowley was right, I couldn't get out of here, and I couldn't drag the boys into this. Sure they'd fought demons before, but there was too many. I knew what they were capable of, I'd seen it and I knew they wouldn't make it out alive.

I took out my cell phone and reluctantly sent a text to both Sam and Dean's phones, before finding a corner to sit in and hide for a while.

_Buzz Buzz _Sam pulled out his phone and opened up his new text. Dean did the same as they pulled up to a red light.

"You got that too?" Sam looked at his brother.

"Yeah," Dean nodded.

"Think it's true?"

"Doubt it." Dean blew out through his nose.

"What is it?" a voice came from the back seat, surprising the brothers. They'd forgotten he was riding with them. That was a new habit he'd just started to form. Normally he'd just pop in wherever they needed to go, but to keep himself up to date, he road with the boys.

"'Got away. Going to head back home. Sorry to worry.'" Dean read aloud.

"Crowley wouldn't let her escape that easily." Sam said as the light changed to green.

"No, he wouldn't. Cas-" Dean looked in the rear view mirror, but the angel was gone, back to Satine's home to find her, and make sure she was safe.

When Sam and Dean drove up to the hotel, they headed up to the front desk and asked a women if she'd seen anyone with Crowley's description. She told them no, when Sam had an idea. He opened up his laptop in the lobby and went on the police site where he punched in Satine's number. He was able to locate the GPS in the phone and got an exact location. He showed Dean then prayed for Castiel to come to them.

"I didn't see her back at her house. I think she may have been lying." Castiel said from behind them.

"Ya think?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"We got a hit on her cell." Sam turned the computer to show the angel.

"Where is that?"

"In another warehouse." Dean answered.

"It's about another thirty miles away." Sam sighed then closed the laptop and followed Dean back out to the Impala.


	6. Chapter 6

6

It was dark out when someone, a demon most likely, came by with food, a plate of grapes, sliced cheese, and a few slices of bread. I looked down at the plate in front of me, wondering why such expensive food was being given to me. I slowly picked at a grape, tasting it for anything that could have been wrong with it.

"We aren't all monsters you know." I looked up to see Crowley standing above me.

"You killed my brother, right in front of me." I hissed.

"Well, there is always the rare casualty."

"'Rare casualty'? That was my brother!" I paused and looked back down at my food, "But I guess none of that will matter once you find Nora."

"Rather sudden change of thought."

"Like you see me as anything but a car for your demons to ride around in." I scoffed.

"No argument there, but why such little faith in yourself?"

"Please, I can't be the first vessel that feels like everything is absolutely pointless."

"No, but you are the first that didn't drive me to the brink of annoyance in the first hour, so congrats on that." he grinned sarcastically.

"Whatever. How much longer?"

"Till?"

"Till you get that sleezebag of a demon back in me."

"Not nice, and blame Castiel, not us that this is taking so long. We're not the ones who sent her off to who knows where." So much for being the boss. He couldn't even keep track of his demons. I sneered at him as he went back to the other room and closed the door behind himself.

I finished my food then looked around the empty room, ready to get out of here. I'd scoped out the room, checking doors and windows for any way out. Any of them would have been acceptable to use to escape, the only problems were the demon goons patrolling outside. I just had to sit and think of a distraction. It would be my only way out now that I was on my own again.

It was pushing eleven when I noticed the shadows of ten or so demons running outside, all in the same direction. There hadn't been a peep out of Crowley in hours so it was now or never. I ran over to the door across the room and to my surprise it opened without a key. I ran as fast as I could across a dark gravel parking lot, after giving it one quick look. I was in the clear and bolted towards a road leading into town. I had no idea where I was going or why I was able to escape so easily, but I was turning back to ask questions. Not now that I was free again.

I had to slow after a good ten minutes of full on sprinting to catch my breath. I could see the town lights not far off. I was almost there and into the clear, just a little bit further.

Once it got into the town, I slowed down and looked for somewhere safe I could rest. I was tired and I could hear the rumble of a cold winter thunderstorm in the distance. Not too long after, the sky opened up above me, soaking me in seconds. I ran across the empty streets until I was safely under the shaded awning of a quiet pub.

I stood there for a good while before two drunk men stumbled out of the pub. They were laughing at something until they looked at me.

"Hey there, pretty lady," the older one slurred. "How's you want to come stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah, right around the corner and warm up?" the other said. Then they both took two steps closer, I sighed and continued on in the rain. The men were clearly too drunk to walk properly, giving me more than a perfect chance to get away from them.

I kept on walking, looking for anything dry to sleep under, but everything with either a closed up apartment building or a tightly knit fenced in neighborhood. I was just passing a six roomed inn when it occurred to me that I had no money to pay for a room. I was broke and starting to become hopeless.

I'd started walking past the inn when the sound of a car rolled up to the curb. I ignored the sound of a door slamming and continued on until I heard, "Mind explaining something?" from behind me. I turned around to see a wet looking man in a leather jacket standing outside of the car under the street lamp. When the other door opened up and another men got out of the car, I smiled to myself and walked over to them.

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Where the hell you've been for the last twelve hours?!" he demanded.

"A rather empty warehouse." I played.

He sighed then grunted, "Let's go." I followed them into the inn's office where he ordered a room. He unlocked the door to room three and we all piled in.

Sam put their bags on the bed and I headed into the bathroom and took a fast shower. When I turned off the water, someone knocked on the door.

"Got some dry clothes." Dean said through the door.

"Hold on a sec." I wrapped myself in a towel then opened the door slightly and took the clothes.

I dressed in the oversized red flannel shirt and large jeans that sagged at my waist, and just left the shirt untucked so that it covered by backside, being that I had no belt to hold up the pants. I picked up my wet clothes from the floor and washed them quick in the sink then hung them over the shower to dry. They'd be ready by morning.

Out in the main room, one small light was on the counter by the coffee pot and small table with a few papers on it, and in the other part, no other light was shining but the light from the T.V. On the two beds sat Sam who was bent over using his laptop and Dean on the other, right in the middle, snoring to the late night shows.

"Sorry they're so big." Sam apologized.

"It's alright, they'll work. Thanks."

"Thank Dean, they're his." he said before throwing a pillow at his brother.

"I'm not sleeping." he shot up.

"Whatever, just move over." Sam took his laptop and sat next to his brother who'd rolled over.

"Where's Castiel?" I asked sitting on the other bed.

"He left us about an hour before we found you."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"No, he doesn't normally."

"Would he answer if I texted him?" I looked at the clock. It was just after midnight but I didn't think he slept. "I know it's late, but-"

"He wouldn't know how to text. He barely understands how to call." Sam laughed.

"Oh. How do you get a'hold of him?"

"Well, you could try praying. Sometimes he answers."

"Praying?"

"He is an angel. I guess he can hone in on prayers. Just give it a try if you want." he turned back to his computer.

Pray? On my knees? I'd try just in my head first. _Castiel, I'm here with Sam and Dean in a motel. _Nothing. "Castiel? I'm here." I said very quietly, not wanting to let Sam here me. I felt kind of foolish praying out loud, but I gave it a shot.

"Are you alright?" a close voice to my right asked, making me jump.

"Jeez," I inhaled deeply, "I'm fine." I breathed again and smiled, knowing the prayer worked. "I got away with no problem. Just like I said in my text." I looked at Sam who was closing his laptop. I'd told them not to come after me, but here they were, clearly looking for me. Sam gave me one look as he put the computer on the table and looked right away, avoiding the conversation. Whatever, I'd leave it for tomorrow along with the questions I had that'd built up over the day.

"I'm sorry." Castiel said.

"About?"

"About your brother."

Oh. Right. That. I'd forgotten for a little while about all of that, but I'd have to face that cold reality. I'd have to set up funeral arrangements, call mom—no, not mom. No mom. No dad. Both of them were the only children other than my dad's brother and their parents were all dead. I guess I didn't have anyone to call. He didn't leave the house so he didn't have friends. All that was left was me and uncle—no, not uncle either. Just me. Just me to say goodbye.

"Satine?"

"I'm fine." I said quietly then got up to pull the blankets down.

"We'll leave in the morning so get some rest." Sam said turning off the T.V. I slid under the blankets and rolled over so that I was facing the alarm clock on the little table between the beds. Its bright red numbers burned into my head so I had to squeeze my eyes closed not to see it. Soon it worked and I drifted off to a dark place with no dreams.

With everyone asleep around him, Castiel didn't know whether he should stay the night with them, or leave. But if he left, where would he go? And if he left, what would happen if they got into trouble? No he wouldn't let anything happen.

He sat down on the bed gingerly so he wouldn't wake Satine and leaned back against the headboard. He'd make sure they were safe from the demons who would surely be out looking for her. He'd make sure she was safe.

5:00, great. I couldn't get back to sleep after looking at the clock three times. In the other bed, everything was still. They were still both sound asleep so there was no point in getting up. I rolled on my back and looked up at the celling before closing my eyes again. I sighed after a good amount of had passed and I still couldn't fall back to sleep.

Another quick look at the clock, 5:15. Ugh. With a large breath through my nose, I could feel a cold sweat building up on my forehead.

"What's wrong?" a quiet voice asked beside me.

"Oh, you're still here." I breathed. "Nothing, I just can't sleep." I sat up and rubbed the back of my neck. Outside the window I could see that it was still pitch black out and it made me want to curl back up in bed for a few more hours, but my legs were too restless. "Do you want some coffee?" I whispered.

"No, thank you."

I got up and filled the small coffee pot and turned it on before going into the bathroom and wetting my face. In the mirror I could see my cheeks growing red. The sweating. The restless legs. Red cheeks. The signs of an oncoming panic attack were in motion. I didn't know why I'd be getting one now, but it was on its way.

Back in the other room, I poured myself a cup of coffee and took it outside. It was still pouring out but under the walkway, I was able to keep dry. In the distance I listened to the deep rumbles of thunder. They were ominous, like a warning or something.

"Heavy storm." he said beside me.

I nodded, just listening.

"Did Crowley hurt you?"

I looked at him, head cocked to the side. "No." I finally answered then turned back to the sky. "Why?"

"You seem... different."

"Different?"

"Are you ill?"

"Ill?" I looked at him again.

"Your face is red and sweating." he pointed towards my forehead.

"No, that's just this thing I get..." I put my hand over my stomach that was twisting and churning at the coffee. Just then, I bolted inside, put my cup on the counter and made it just in time to the bathroom where I let everything in my stomach go. I threw up the fresh coffee right into the white bowl then flushed it away.

After I was sure I was done, I headed back outside where Castiel was standing in front of the window. I stood beside him, letting the breeze cool down my face.

"Why do you do that, expel all the food you'd just ingested?"

"I didn't want to. It's called a panic attack."

"Panic attack?"

"It's why I look sick. Something is setting me off." Another rumble of thunder. "Something's wrong." He nodded then we both went back inside and I ran over to the boys. "Dean," I said, rubbing his shoulder. He had slept in the same clothes and above the blankets with a pillow tucked under his arm toward his chest. "Dean," I repeated and rubbed until he opened his eyes. "Sam," I reached over Dean and rubbed on Sam's shoulder.

"Hum?" Dean groaned.

"We gotta go."

"What's wrong?" Sam sat up, barely awake.

"I don't know... but I can feel something wrong." They both got up quick, grabbed everything and we piled into the Impala parked right outside on the curb.

"Where are we going?" I asked from the backseat.

"Far away from here." Dean said from the driver's seat, pulled hastily from the curb and driving towards the highway.

"Florida?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah."

"Florida?" I asked.

"We were going to head down there yesterday. There's a case we were looking into, but then we got your text." Sam said.

"And we'll be far enough away from Crowley." Dean added.

"Our dad has keys to a cabin near the town we were looking at, so we have somewhere to stay. Somewhere safe."

"Alright, Florida it is."

We journeyed through many states and were pulling down a dirt road by nine at night. It seemed to the boys surprise that Castiel hadn't left us yet when we pulled up to a dark lodge/cabin. Dean unlocked the front door then switched on the lights in the room. If I hadn't known any better, I'd have guessed that this was the place the Castiel had first brought me, but this place was too unused. With the layer of dust on everything, I could tell no one had been here in months. Maybe even years.

"Demon free home, sweat home." Dean said as he threw his bag on the tan couch then went right to the fridge and pulled out three beers. Sam and I we both handed one and we cracked them and found seats around the main room. A couch and two chairs circled around an old T.V., a table next to the fridge and an old microwave on the counter. A stove sat in the dark room and I thought I'd seen a grill outside. I checked out the bed rooms. Two of them, both with two beds that had been stripped of bedding. I found a lining closet and made up the beds while Sam did some research on their case and Dean laid down in front of the T.V., obviously tired from the long day of driving.

When all the beds were made up, I searched the cabinets for food. I'd found a half-full box of popcorn, a can of black beans, and a can of peas. Popcorn it was.

"Beds are all made up." I said, plopping down on the couch beside Dean with my bowl of popcorn.

"You didn't have to do that, Satine." Sam smiled.

"Come on, it's the least I could do."

"Cleaning, what are you going to tell me next, you can cook?" Dean laughed.

"Well, I do make a killer apple, cherry, or pumpkin pie." I said.

Dean went all serious, "Don't kid with me. Are you kidding with me?"

"Nope, but there is no oven here."

"I will find you an oven. Sam we will find her an oven." he said, looking very determined.

"Sure thing Dean." Sam took a sip of his beer.

"So, what's there to do around here?"

"Well, there's good sized lake out back, so swimming, fishing maybe. I'm sure dad's got some old stuff here you could use."

"Cool." We watched T.V. For a little while before Dean started his loud snoring. After about five minutes of listening to that, I headed into my room for the night.

"Night, Sam."

"See you in the morning." I would've said goodnight to Castiel, but I had no idea where he'd gone.

I laid down in bed for a while, not really tired but it was late and I didn't want to sleep all day tomorrow. The clock read 12:02 when I got back up to stretch my legs to try to fall asleep, but it didn't work.

Outside I could see the bright moonlight reflecting off the lake that Sam had told me about. It was a clam lake and it was a clear night. I figured that maybe I could slip away out there for a little while. We were far enough away I thought that I'd be safe.

Out in the main room, it was quiet. Sam was on his laptop but it looked like Dean had moved to his bed for the night. I found the back door at the end of the small hallway and went outside. It was muggy outside, even though it was technically winter, but Florida did have mild winters. The temperature had to be around seventy or so. Perfect swimming temperatures.

I took a very short stroll down to the lake edge that was about fifty feet from the lodge/cabin, and I looked the lake over. I could see a few boats on the shore across the lake. Maybe another lodge, a house? Other people used this lake and I could see a small floating dock in the middle of the water. It was easy to see with the moon not being hidden by any clouds in the very clear sky.

I stripped away the clothes Dean had let me barrow and folded them into a pile on the sand and slowly walked into the cool water. It lapped at my ankles then my knees, hips, until I was in up to my shoulders. I then swam around. The water felt so relaxing on my bare body and it flowed through my hair as I took short dives into the deeper water.

I was a good ways out when I took a deeper dive into the dark water and stayed down until I had to come back up for air. I did it once more when I felt something grabbing at me. With my recent experience of gabbing, I kicked whatever it was away. Then I felt it grab me again by my shoulder and I lashed out with my hands, digging into whoever it was with my finger nails until they let go. I kicked to the surface when I choked and gasped for air. When I opened my eyes, I looked around for who I was dealing with, but I saw no one.

I turned around quickly when I heard a gasp from behind me and I was just about to kick again when I saw who it was.

"Castiel? What are you doing out here?" I breathed.

"You didn't come back up." he said. I looked over his bobbing head and quickly took notice of the scratches that ran across his left brow where I'd dug into him.

"Castiel, you're bleeding." Three scratches were dripping down the side of his face, running with the water that was dripping from his hair. "Come over to the dock." We were too far out for me to just swim back to shore before I looked him over and caught my breath back.

He climbed up the metal latter first and then I saw that he was still fully clothed, coat and all. "Cas, you didn't even take your coat off." I shook my head as I hauled myself out of the water onto the dock.

"I thought you were in trouble." he sat down and immediately looked away from me and towards the water. His back stiffened and his face almost looked frightened.

"Cas-" that's when I remembered that was still naked. I sat down beside him so that he wasn't facing me. I could have tried to cover myself up, but I had nothing and it was too late anyways. He'd already seen me. I did, however, draw my knees up to my chest to cover a part of me. I could feel my cheeks turning color with embarrassment.

A few seconds later, a folded up coat was being pushed in front of me. "Thanks." I smiled down at that wet thing and put it on quickly. When I was fully covered, Castiel relaxed a bit and I knelled in front of him, getting a closer look at his face. "I'm so sorry." I said, wiping away the blood. He just looked at me, like _he'd_ done something wrong. The cut was all healed already, the only thing left was the left over blood. I'd forgotten he could heal himself. "Thanks for looking out for me." I said shyly.

That was new to me. Both him and the boys were looking out for me. That was something I wasn't used to. I was normally the one watching out for people back home or at least for myself. But this felt good knowing that I could rely on them for help. Help with anything. Mundane tasks and even my wellbeing. It just felt good.

"You're welcome." he said, finally.

"Come on, let's go back." I climbed back into the water and swam back to shore where I picked up my clothes and sunk back in through the hall door. I went into the bathroom and grabbed two towels. I wrapped one around my hair and went looking to give the other to Castiel. No one was in the main room so I figured he was gone for the night.

I headed back to my room to change when I found a long white nightgown spread across my bed. I knew who'd put it there. I turned towards the other bed in the room and held out the other towel, but I saw that he was already dry. Another angel perk.

"Thought you'd like it better..."

"Thank you, Castiel." I took the nightgown into the bathroom where I hung up the towels to dry along with Castiel's coat and changed into the nightgown.

Back in my room, the clock read 3:23. Oh boy, another late night, only this time, I felt genuinely tired. I saw Castiel still sitting on the other bed as I reached for the lamp switch and I noticed that he looked out of place, lost even. I'd only seen him sleep once, well I thought he was asleep, and I wondered what he normally did.

"Castiel, what do you do when everyone is sleeping?"

"Wait for them to awake again." he said, almost sounding sad.

"That sounds lonely."

He didn't say anything, just looked down at the floor.

"Have you ever tried sleeping?" I know it sounded like an odd question, but maybe he could sleep and just didn't have to.

"Not for the sake of sleep."

"Try it. It'll pass the time faster."

He looked around the bed like he wasn't sure what to do, or where to start.

"Come here." I said patting down the bedding beside me. He didn't move for a few moments, then he slowly got up off his bed then moved over to mine where he sat on the edge. "It's easier when there are other's sleeping with you." I'd always found that to be true.

He still sat on the edge of the bed, not looking up.

"You still have to lay down." I scooted over so that I was closer to the edge of the bed, making enough room for him to fit against the wall.

He slid his back up against the wall but he didn't lay down until I guided his shoulders down to the bed, his head just barely resting on the pillow.

I switched off the lamp and laid down, facing towards the angel. He didn't lay under the blankets, but this was a start. If he had been asleep that last time, it was from pure exhaustion from working the spell and healing me.

I closed my eyes and fell into an immediate and deep sleep. Castiel brought a feeling of protection with him and everything Nora had done, Crowley, anything any demon had done melted away into a reality that seemed so far away. I was safe with him here, right beside me. A real angel.

Her breathing slowed and her shoulders rose and fell in a constant and calm pattern beside him. He watched her sleep, feeling calm and relaxed. She wanted him here with her, in her own bed, right next to her. Why? Why would she want anything to do with him? He hadn't treated her ill, but he hadn't done anything that would warrant her interest, had he? Why did she want him here with her? He couldn't stop asking himself these questions. Over and over again, they went through his mind. He still wasn't even sure why she'd trusted him in the first place. It was his fault for the pain she endured. Thinking of that alone made the sickening feeling of guilt rise into his throat. And not only that, but he'd been so quick to leave her, that her brother was killed, and Crowley had gotten his hands on her, and if she hadn't escaped when she did, who knows what mutilation they would have inflicted on her.

Still, she turned to watch out for him, an angel. She made sure he was alright after just a few scratches. Made sure he was comfortably dry. And now was trying to help him pass lonely hours with the only way she knew how.

A hot and airy feeling was building up inside of him and he was starting to notice it more often. Was something wrong with him? Had he done something wrong and he was starting a punishment? He worried that if this was a punishment, how would it effect Satine? What would become of her?

He pushed all of that out of his mind. He was where he felt like he belonged at the moment. Satine was safe at the moment beside him, and he needed to relish in that fact. He carefully nudged closer to the sleeping woman, trying his best not to wake her, but still get closer. Once he could feel her hand touching his forehead, he froze, afraid she would awaken and be angry with him. When she didn't stir, he moved even closer so that her hand was cupping the side of his face. That's where he wanted to be. That was the boundary he wanted to test, now that he had this strange feeling, no, urge to be closer to her. He didn't understand one bit of it, but it felt right to him.


	7. Chapter 7

7

The sound of movement awoke me. Sunlight filtered into the room through the window. I could tell right away that it wasn't early anymore. The clock read 9:09, time to get up.

I sat up and noticed that I was just about to fall off the bed. Then I remembered I wasn't the only one it the bed last night. I looked over but I was alone. My bed was empty beside me. The angel hadn't stayed the night.

I frowned at the emptiness. I had hoped that maybe he could have slept and that maybe he wouldn't be so lonely, but I guess it just didn't work. I was sorry for him about that. I couldn't imagine having to stay awake while the world around me traveled into their own worlds of peace and quiet, while I was left all alone in the silent darkness. It was a sad understanding, but maybe that was the price for being an angel. Loneliness.

I got up and found my dry, clean clothes and got dressed before heading into the living room/kitchen where I found Dean rummaging through the cabinets. He was all dressed and showered already.

"Morning." I greeted him.

"Did you find anything else other than popcorn last night?" he asked.

"Yeah, a can of peas."

"Well, that's just great." he sighed, closing the little wooden door.

"Maybe I could go shopping today, if we plan on being here awhile."

"Only one car." he sat down at the table, looking at the box of popcorn, thinking about making some for breakfast.

"Castiel?"

"Haven't seen him all morning."

"Maybe I'll come across some of your dad's fishing gear." I sat down beside him at the table with a glass of water.

"Just wanted some eggs." he mumbled under his breath.

"Dean, are you ready to go?" Sam said, just walking in the room.

"Yeah, let's go." he took a hungered suit from the couch and headed towards the door. "We should be back around seven. You call if something happens."

"I will." I waved as he closed the door behind him. "Alright." I got up and headed into the many closets around the lodge, taking inventory of anything that I would use any time soon. I searched all but one closet that had been locked and came across a gas stove in the broom closet, a set of fishing poles in the back of the coat closet down the hall with a tackle box, and a box hidden under the master bed. Inside the box was a key. My only guess was that the key went to the locked closet.

I went to the closet that was just beside the bathroom and slowly turned the key in the lock and pulled on the doorknob. Inside the closet was something I'd never seen in my life. I pulled on the string above me to light the little room to make sure I was seeing everything correctly. Inside the closet was an arsenal; guns of all sorts, a gallon of gasoline, matches, lighters, knives, ropes, a box of chalk, a bag of rock salt, and a jug of water with a rosary tied to it. If this was dad's place, then the whole family had to be into the demon thing.

As odd as that all was, I wasn't freaked out in any way. I almost expected it.

Next I went to make a shopping list. We needed food and now that I'd found the gas stove, we had something I could cook on. This could work for a while. We were secluded. I had my charms to keep me hidden, and we left no leads to where we were going. Crowley only found me because I was where he'd expect me to have gone, home. Now his only probable guess would be Bobbie's panic room, but that trail was left cold. There was no reason he should find me now.

I had just finished the shopping list when I was going into the closet to pull out the fishing pole. I set them up on the table in the kitchen and had gone back for the tackle box when I heard a crashing sound, something loud hitting the floor. I pulled out a knife that I'd taken from the arsenal from my belt and held it ready before I went back to the kitchen, where the sound had come from.

I slowly peeked around the corners of the hall until I came to the last turn to the kitchen. Pressed up against a wall, I made so sounds. Nothing that they could detect. In the kitchen I could hear rustling and movement. I took in a deep breath before jumping out of my hiding place with my knife out.

I slowly put the knife away when I saw the fishing poles on the floor and the angel bending down to pick them up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see them." he said.

"You're very good at scaring people, Castiel."

He looked at the knife as I put it back into its slip.

"Hey, now that you're here, I was wondering, and I know this is going to sound stupid, but I was wondering if you could maybe you could take me back home?" I requested.

"Home?" he asked, as if I was leaving.

"Just for a second. I need money and clothes. I can't pull of wearing the same thing every day and I can't keep stealing Dean's clothes."

"There is a large possibility that Crowley will be there waiting for you."

"I know, but it will only be there for a second. I'll bring holy water. It worked on the demons I saw Dean and Sam fight off."

"Crowley isn't just a demon," he said as if the holy water would have no effect on him. "But if we're quick, maybe it'll alright."

I nodded then stood closer to him so he could get us there.

"Which room is yours?"

"Top floor, overlooking the street."

He put his hand firmly around my arm and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, we were back in my room.

My bed was unmade like it had been months ago, the last time I'd slept in it. My dresser was covered in clean clothes that I'd meant to put away. My floor had a book here and there, but for the most part, it was clean. A pot of flowers sat on my dresser and another on a little table beside my bed. Drawings of exotic flowers were framed on the walls.

"Hurry. I don't know how long we have."

I ran to my closet and pulled out a bag that I used when I went on trips or when I was away for school and filled it with essential clothes as Castiel closed my door then headed to the window where he looked down at the empty sidewalk, wet with melting snow and runny mud.

I grabbed a thick jacket, pants, shirts, one dress, bras, underwear, a brush, my travel tooth brush, chargers, a book that I'd been too busy to start that was on the floor beside my bed, and a little black box that I kept under my pillow. When grabbed and I slid on my usual jacket that had my wallet and Ipod in it, I noticed the framed picture of my mother, father, brother, uncle, and I when I was very young on the little table I then remembered my brother. He would still be downstairs, laying on the living room floor, slowly rotting away.

"Alright, let's get out of here." I said as I stood next to him. I couldn't take care of my brother now. It wasn't safe, but that made me mad. I couldn't bury my own brother because I had to keep looking over my shoulder for these demon freaks.

Castiel took hold of my arm again and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, we were standing in the living room back at the lodge.

"Thank you, Castiel." I gave him a faded smile then went to get the fishing poles and put them back in the closet. Then I headed back to my room where I set my bag down and leaned back in my bed with my Ipod blasting in my headphones and my book out.

Thinking about my brother and knowing I couldn't do anything for him sent me into an angry, hateful, and sad state that I could only bask in by myself.

"I'm sorry, Jim." I said quietly as my eyes grew foggy. I couldn't see the printed words in front of my face anymore, so I put the book down. I could feel the hot tears slowly making their way down my cheek.

It was foolish of me to think two days ago that I could go back home. That place was no longer my home. It hadn't been since the day Nora found her way into me. Hell, that whole life was gone. I couldn't go back to school after all this. After everything, how could I go back to any life? Demons were out looking for me, let alone everything I'd done when Nora was in me. All those lives I'd taken when she was in control. All those people.

I covered my face in shame knowing that I had been powerless against her. I hadn't been strong enough to fight her off and this is where it landed me. My only family. The only thing I had left.

"Oh God," I sobbed into my hands. I am alone. So alone. My shoulders shook and my knees bent up, dumping the book to the floor as they shifted up to my chest.

Something moved on the bed next to me, making me jump. I saw the book placed back down beside me and I yanked out my headphones while rubbing my eyes.

"Something wrong?" I quaked, trying to clear my throat.

"I don't know, you tell me."

"It's just- just my brother." I cleared my throat again and picked up the book and put it back on my lap.

"It was worse than just your brother. The pain they caused-"

"They're demons. Isn't that what they do?" I spit.

"What did _she_ do?"

"She killed people, what do you think?"

"Who?"

"What do you mean, who? The people who owed their souls and anyone else around them. You saw what she did to that little girl. It was always the same, her style, her methods, they didn't change."

"Who other than your brother?"

I couldn't get around it. Castiel knew there was something else. "My uncle." I sighed.

"She killed your uncle?"

I nodded. "But it was more than that. I could feel him tugging at my hands, pleading me to stop. I could see it in his eyes. He thought it was me doing it. He didn't know she was there. He died thinking his niece, the one he'd taken in, was the one who was killing him. I could feel his strength fading away and saw the light leave his eyes." Another tear rolled down my cheek. "I couldn't stop her."

"It wasn't your fault." I looked away from him, but felt a hand under my chin lift my face up towards his. "Satine, it was not your fault." he said very sternly. "No human should be able to fight her."

"Even so. It feels like I did it. It hurts like I did it."

I could see him swallow. He had nothing to say. Nothing he could do to stop that pain.

I stood up and put my headphones back in. Now I needed to keep myself busy. I need to distract my mind. I made up the boys beds, rewashed all the dusty dishes in the cupboards, cleaned up all the beer bottles from last night, and even put my clothes away in the dresser, but it was still only four. I had a lot of time to kill.

I found Castiel sitting on the couch in the living room and had an idea. "Hey, do you think I'd be alright if we went shopping for a while? There's no food here."

"Are you alright to it?"

"Yeah, I just need to keep busy."

"Alright," he stood up and I grabbed my wallet and list.

"I saw a store about three miles before we turned down his road." This time I took his arm and closed my eyes. When I opened them, we were across the street from a small grocery store with no more than seven cars in the parking lot.

In the store I went right to the essentials; milk, bread, butter, that kind of stuff. Then I moved on to the list. I wanted to make the boys dinner tonight, so I went to the meat section and picked out a few steaks and some hamburger meat. I would've gotten chicken but we still didn't have an oven. Then I moved on to baked beans, salad items, a few potatoes, and some canned corn. It wasn't the right time of year for fresh. I found some mini pies in the bakery so I picked up four of different flavors. Eggs, cheese, bacon, and bagels for breakfast, and a few apples, grapes, and strawberries. I didn't care what time of year it was. Strawberries were almost as important as milk and bread on my list. Pasta and sauce for dinner tomorrow, so I picked all the things up for that then headed for the check out. I picked up a chocolate bar on the way there and then checked out.

Everything was paid for with no problem. And then back outside, I handed half the bags to Castiel then he took my arm and we were back in the lodge. It was five thirty when we got back and I started to put things away. I left everything out for dinner; potatoes, salad, corn, and steaks, then put everything else away. The fridge was a lot fuller now and that made me happy.

When six o'clock rolled around, I pulled an idle Castiel into the kitchen and handed him a knife.

"Know how to cook?"

"Er... no."

"Well, now you'll start to learn. I'll give you the easy things, like salad."

"Okay?"

"Start out cutting up this head of lettuce like this." I made the first few cuts into the head and put them in a big bowl. "Okay, you're turn."

He took his knife and made a few more cuts, just like I had. "See? Not that hard. You keep doing that to the whole thing and I'll start on the potatoes." I cleaned them and wrapped them in aluminum foil, ready to go on the grill. Next were the steaks. I seasoned them up and had them on a plate to go on the grill outside.

"Now what?" Castiel asked.

"Now you cut tomatoes and the cheese into little squares." I handed him a small brick of cheddar and a few cherry tomatoes.

I moved on to the corn, putting it into a bowl and throwing it into the microwave for a few minutes.

"Okay," He was all done with that I pulled out the last part, carrots. Little baby carrots.

"These will roll away from you, so be careful." I cut up one for him then put it into the bowl with the cheese and tomatoes. "When you do about ten or so you can stop. I'll be manning the grill." I took a carrot on the way out and popped it into my mouth as I grabbed the potatoes and stake.

Six thirty. We were good on time.

I'd found a bag of charcoal in the broom closet so I'd set it outside, filled the grill then lit it. Potatoes when on first for a few minutes then I went back inside to clean and set the table. Well, clean it anyways. Castiel was just about done with the salad so I handed him the plates and silverware to set the table with. I told him where everything went and he got right to it.

Back outside it was getting dark out so I had to turn the outside light on. Now the steaks were ready. I put the first three on leaving mine for last. They cooked for about five minutes then I put mine on. I didn't like my steak too cooked, so it was only on the grill for about ten minutes. I pulled the boy's off a few minutes later along with the potatoes.

Back inside, the table was set and Castiel helped me hand out salad in bowls just as a car rolled up outside. I was getting a glass of water when the door opened up.

"God, I'm starving." Dean groaned as he threw a bag on the couch and sat down beside it.

"No way," Sam's mouth dropped open as he took a long look at the stakes on the table. "You made dinner?"

"Hold on, what?" Dean turned around and took a look at the table full of food.

"Castiel helped with the salad." I smiled. The two boys almost ran to the table and took their seats.

"Please tell me that this isn't a dream." Dean begged.

"You tell me." I said as I put a large piece of meat on his place.

"Doesn't smell like one." he said, picking up a knife and cutting into the stake. "Oh god," he closed his eyes. "It's beautiful."

I passed the corn around and the potatoes when Castiel sat down on the couch. I was just about to dig into my steak when I said, "Castiel, do you want to try some?"

He was quiet for a moment then he stood back up and walked back over to the table where he sat in the last seat. "Here you go." I handed him a plate with a little of everything on it.

He cut into his stake and slowly ate the one bite. No complaints. It was gone then he moved onto the corn. A mouthful gone, then some salad.

"Wait, did you say, Cas helped?" Dean asked through a mouthful of steak.

"I did."

"She got him cooking." Sam said in disbelief.

"Omelets and fruit for breakfast,"

"Eggs, finally. A home cooked breakfast." Sam happily sighed.

"And there may or may not be pie for dessert."

Dean's eyes got wide across the table. I thought they might just pop out of his head.

"Yes, I did say pie."

"Okay, I love her. She is never leaving." He might have been just kidding, but I hoped deep down that he'd meant it. This place was better than anywhere I'd lived before.

"Where did you get the money for all this?" Sam asked.

"I had so much built up from the government when my parents died that I just never spent. Thought now I could use it."

"Grill, cook, can you fight demons too?" Dean laughed.

"That part you might have to teach me."

"Lessons for meals?"

"Deal." Sweet. That was a good bargain on my side.

I went back to my last piece of steak when I noticed Castiel's plate was empty. That was the first thing I'd seen him eat, and it was all gone. Sleeping, eating. I felt like I was trying to turn him human. Or maybe I just wanted him to enjoy things. Sleep, restful and relaxing. Food, just the good feeling of being full and the great taste of grilled meat. Another thing, he'd done both without question. Maybe he wanted to try these things. Something new for him possibly. Maybe they made him feel more like he was welcomed, like this could be his home too.

"So, how did you get away from Crowley?" Dean asked as we both sat on the couch after the dishes had all been washed and put away. Castiel and Sam both sat in the chairs and we all just watched the T.V. for a little while.

"Well, he said that the place was guarded but something distracted all the demons. I didn't hear or see anything, but they all went after something."

"Yeah, that was us." Dean said.

"What were you guys doing there anyway?"

"Saving you."

"I told you not to come."

"Yeah, you lied and said you'd gotten away. We know Crowley. He doesn't work like that."

"He told me to turn you away. You'd have been safer if you didn't come."

"We can handle ourselves."

"I don't doubt that." I said sternly. "But there were a lot of demons there."

"We would have been fi-"

"All I'm asking is that when I turn you away again, leave. Don't go looking for me." They needed to understand that when it was my turn to fight Nora, I needed to do it alone. They would not be put at risk for my revenge.

"We aren't going to just let you go." Sam laughed nervously.

"Sam, I'm not joking. I'm sure you've seen what these demons can do, but I know they can do worse. I saw what Nora would have done if she wasn't under Crowley's rule."

"Alright, just don't get yourself in that situation." Sam said.

"I'll do my best." I said seriously.

"Satine, you aren't alone."

"I know."

"Okay, enough soap opera crap. Time for pie." Dean jumped and headed into the kitchen.

"I'll skip the pie tonight." I said.

"Skip pie?!" Dean turned around.

"Yeah, I'm going to bed."

"Already?"

"Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Alright. Goodnight, Satine."

"Night guys."

Back in my room, I changed into my nightgown and pulled out my Ipod, putting my headphones in. I wasn't really tired, but I wanted to be alone for a while. I couldn't push my brother or uncle out of my mind. I missed them both so much and I felt so guilty. Nothing I could do would stop the tears this time. They rolled down my face as I smashed my face into the pillow. My insides hurt so much as I wretched with each hushed sob. I trembled and shook. The sadness was too powerful for me to fight and I just wallowed in it.

Something touched my arm and I bolted up, pulling out my headphones.

"Hey, are you alright?" Dean asked, standing over me. I could make out his body outline in the light from the open doorway.

I didn't answer, I'd have been lying if I said yes.

I wiped my face quick but didn't look at him.

"You're not hurt are you? Your head?"

"No, it's fine." I sniffed as a silent tear rolled down my cheek.

He sat down on the bed next to me and held my hand. "It's going to take time." he simply said.

I nodded, trying to hold back another sob. He took my hand and pulled me closer so that my face was leaning into his shoulder. His hand slowly rubbing my back. I finally let out heavy breaths that turned into quiet sobs.

"It's going to be alright." he whispered into my ear a few times.

After a good fifteen minutes, everything tapered off. My eyes had no more tears left and I could finally breathe normal. Dean sat up strait and stretched his sure to be aching shoulder.

"We'll take care of your brother tomorrow. I promise."

"Thank you, Dean." He bent forward and kissed my forehead before I laid down again.

"Get some sleep, Satine." I nodded and rolled over to face the wall as he closed the door behind him.

Now I was tired and feeling a little better. Dean was right. This all was going to take time. Maybe I'd be even better once Jim was taken care of properly. But all that would start tomorrow. Now it was alright to mourn.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Sam asked his brother who'd just walked back into the living room. He handed him a beer and noticed an odd look on Dean's face. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." Sam gave him a questioning look. "Satine's taking everything hard. I told her we'd take care of her brother tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure. Of course." They joined Castiel in front of the T.V. With their beers. "You okay?" Sam looked his brother who still had an odd look on his face.

"Just can't get over how much the demon did to her, and she still keeps going. I mean, the whole mind thing and now her brother. Girls' got it tough."

"And her uncle." Dean and Sam both looked to Castiel.

"Huh?" Dean said.

"She told me about her uncle who Nora killed while inside her. She remembers it vividly."

"Jeez." Sam sighed. "Was she alright when you left?" Sam turned to Dean.

"She was really shaken up about it, but I think she's asleep." he took a sip of beer.

"We'll just have to keep an eye on her. If she's blaming herself, we know how that can end."

"Yeah."

He stood beside her bed. The sad woman below him was curled and twisted up in her blankets. He reached down and slowly pushed the hair away from her soft face. She didn't deserve this, he thought. No one did.

Even in deep sleep, she looked sad and lonely. He sat down on the bed beside her. She didn't want him to be lonely last night, and now he would return the favor. She might not know he was there, but he stayed with her.

Poor Satine, he thought. If only you knew how strong you really were. If only you understood how strong you'd been.

He stroked her hand with his thumb then laid down beside her like she'd told him. It might not have been sleep, but this was like a dream to him. This women who hurt so much inside cared for him. Looked out for him. Her kindness was foreign to him. Sam and Dean might have treated her like a sister, but this was something different. If felt like something more.


	8. Chapter 8

8

It was a bright sunny morning when I opened my eyes. I felt fully rested and much better than the night before. I sat up and looked that the empty bed beside me. No one was there but it felt like someone else was present. Oh well.

I went to the bathroom then headed out to the quiet living room. I didn't see any sign of Sam or Dean. The whole lodge was quiet. It was weird.

Out in the kitchen I finally found someone. He was leaned over the sink looking out the window eating a bagel.

"I was going to make omelets." I said. He turned around and I saw that it was neither Sam nor Dean. I didn't know this man and a twinge of fear flickered in my heart.

"Now you tell me." he said throwing his hands above his head. "I got stuck with this crappy bagel. Thanks." he rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry? Who are you?" I asked with a tone of attitude.

"What you don't recognize me?" I squinted and looked him over. Locks of lighter brown hair, hazel eyes, around five eight. Nope, I had no idea who he was.

"No, sorry."

"Ahh, don't worry about it. You shouldn't." he spoke very upbeat. "The name's Gabriel." he held out his hand.

"Satine." I shook his hand.

"I know who you are." he took another bite of the bagel.

"Okay? What are you doing here, other than eating all our bagels?"

"Hey, it's just the one." he swallowed the last of it. "I'm here with a proposal."

"Proposal? Like a deal?"

"Sure." he waved off. "I've noticed my brother has taken interest in you." he spoke fast, "Now, that's odd for him. See, normally he's more of a point guy. Well, he is when there is a point, but that's a whole 'nother story. After the whole fallen thing he's been kind of-"

"Hold on a second. Your brother has taken an interest in me?"

"Righto."

"Who's your brother?"

"The one who's been keeping an eye on you."

"You're a Winchester?"

"What? No." Okay, I was lost. "I'm Castiel's brother." Castiel's brother? He was an angel too?

"You're an angel?" He lifted up his hands. Oh, Gabriel. Duh. "Sorry, it's still early."

"Very. Okay, back to the proposal. See, little bro Cas here sometimes has a hard time finding a good cause. He gets thrown off easily and then he has a whole regret process, yada yada yada... Anyway, he's taken an interest in you, for some reason. I don't know."

"You want me to stay away from him?"

"Huh? Jeez, no. Let me finish." I nodded for him to continue. "I like you. I saw how you handled the whole Nora Crowley thing. You did good under pressure and you didn't break down.

"Now here's the thing. I need someone to keep him on track. Sure, Dean and Sam have done an okay job of that, but with you he's got a bit more loyalty. Passion to listen, if you will. If you call, he'll come running. Ask for something, he'll do it without question. See where I'm going with this?"

"Yeah, I guess. But why can't you do it? I mean, he is_ your_ brother."

"Listen here, sweet checks. I would, he's family and all, but there's one little tiny problem in the way of that."

"Oh?"

"I'm dead." that was when he got serious. "I can't really get to him and keep him out of trouble. But you, you're right there with him. And he'll actually listen to you. He already likes you, just take it a little further and everything will be all set."

"Is that even right? I mean, he's an angel. I'm a human. How can that work?"

"Trust me, I've seen weirder." I wasn't sure about any of this. "Look, he's got a human vessel. That's all you two need."

"I guess. I mean, he is sweet."

"That's a start. Oh, and the whole demon thing. He can help you. You just have to let him. Now I know Crowley can be a big ol' bag of dicks sometimes, but the Winchesters have dealt with him before. They might not seem capable, but give them a chance. They'll pull through for you."

A clock somewhere in the lodge starting ringing its hourly chimes and Gabriel looked at the time. "Hum, that late already. I gotta get scooting. But hey, I'm holding you to that omelet next time."

"Next time?"

"I'll be checking in. Keep an eye open for you. It was good to finally meet you, Satine." My name rolled off his tongue like it had been a special occasion to use it, as he bent down and kissed the top of my hand before snapping his fingers.

I jolted awake. The room was dark and I was back in bed. Had any of that actually happened? Had a dead angel really just told me to keep his brother in check? I wouldn't have believed it, but then I saw a large white feather on the pillow beside me. Nope, it was real. I twirled the feather around with my fingers for a few moments until I noticed a weight on the blankets when I rolled over. Beside me on the bed was Castiel. He was on the blankets like he'd been the night before only this time he looked to be curled up in a ball.

His older brother, the arch angel Gabriel, had told me to watch out for him and that I should get closer to him. I guess I could give it a try. I did like him. He was kind and sweet. He'd also pulled a demon out of me and fixed up the damage she'd caused inside of me. This could work.

He looked to be sound asleep, so I let my fingers run across the top of his head, feeling the tips of his hair brush my fingertips. Unconsciously, he pushed closer with his head into my hand, like he wanted to be touched. The little angel finally sleeping, like a bird in a nest. Yeah, this could work, I smiled to myself.


	9. Chapter 9

9

When I opened my eyes again, it wasn't the same brightness that filled the room. The sky was full of clouds and a slight drizzle rolled down the window. I sat up in the empty bed and pealed the feather from my hand, where it had stuck from sleeping with it. Then I got a whiff of something. Something delicious.

I took the feather and put it in the black box under my pillow before headed out in the kitchen where I found Dean with the gas stove. A pan with eggs and cheese sat in his hand.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"Oh, good morning." he turned to me. "Breakfast?"

"Sure, but I thought I was doing meals for lessons on demons."

"We can let this one slip." he smiled, seeming to be full of energy.

"If you say so." I grabbed a glass of milk and sat down at the table. Sam joined us soon with a mug of coffee.

"Omelets?" he asked.

"Yup." Dean slid a plate in front of me and one in front of Sam before sitting down with one for himself.

"Wow," I said with my mouth full.

"Good?" Dean asked.

"Really. What did you use?"

"Paprika, cheese, pepper, bacon. That's it."

"It's so good." I basically inhaled the whole thing before taking my dishes to the sink where I washed them. "Thanks, Dean." I said as I made my way to the bathroom. I jumped in the shower for a little while to wash up then brush out my hair. I headed back to my room to get changed into a pair of jeans and a black blouse. I sat down on the bed to put socks on when I noticed Castiel on the bed across the room.

"Do you ever knock or something? Jeez." I sat up. "You missed breakfast." He said nothing, just sat there.

"What's in there?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"That box." he pointed to the corner of the black box sticking out from under my pillow.

"Just something my mother gave me a long time ago." I pushed the box further under my pillow. "Nothing important." I pushed it aside, not really liking to bring up anything that revolved around _that_ box.

"I guess you slept last night." I said after a while of silence. He looked at me like he'd been caught doing something wrong. "Good to see that it worked." His looked faded but a slight blush took over his eyes. He was cute like that.

"Cas?" Dean called from the other room. Castiel looked at me before Dean called for him again.

"I better go to him." he said. I nodded then pulled out my book again as he left the room. Sadly I was done with my book in the next hour and had nothing else to read. So I went out to the living room where Sam was watching T.V. With his laptop.

"Hey," he said. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just finished my book." I fell onto the couch beside him.

"Reader?"

"Yeah. Love it. You?"

"Same. I've got a good one in my bag if you want to try it?"

"Sure, just as long as it isn't Shakespeare."

"No," he smiled. "Nothing _that_ old."

"Awesome."

We watched T.V. For a few hours before Dean came in through the front door. His jacket was all wet from being outside. When he stepped in and took off his jacket, he looked at me and asked, "How you holding up?"

"Alright." He went into the fridge and got out a beer then sat down with us. "No Castiel?"

"He'll be here soon. Got him busy doing something."

"How's your case going? I had forgotten to ask."

"Done, we found the guy pretty quickly." Sam answered.

"Yeah, the whole witch thing was just a hoax and it was really a mild case of changelings." Dean added. I just looked at them with my eyebrows knitted together. "Er... yeah. There's a lot more out there than you'd think."

"Not just demons and angels?"

"No, much much more. Ghosts, spirits, werewolves, vampires, witches, I could go on."

"I get it. Lots out there." I said turning to the T.V. And zoning out. "But..."

"But?"

"But, I guess it's just hard picturing your whole life not knowing what's out there. So much evil, so many monsters."

"It's better not to know?"

"No," I turned back to him, a slight smile on my lips. "With evil comes the righteous to counter its power. If there's so much bad, then there has to be good. Demons, angels. Monsters, hunters. Like you two. Like Castiel. It's good to know that there is good to fight all the bad."

"Well, that's a new one." Dean said, shrugging.

"Sam, Dean. I need your help." I jumped at the voice from behind me. It was going to take some time to get used to him popping out of nowhere.

I turned around to find Castiel standing in the kitchen, soaking wet. "You okay, Castiel?" I asked.

He looked at me for a moment and nodded as the brothers got up and followed him outside.

"Do you need my help?" I asked.

"We'll be back soon. Just stay here." Sam said, closing the door behind him.

Soon took a long time to come. They were gone for hours. I had already eaten a dinner of left over steak. It was dark out when they came back and it had even stopped raining. Sam and Dean both came in out of breath and they headed for the fridge for beers. They were wet from the rain, but they also looked very sweaty.

"Sorry, I ate without you." I said, regretfully.

"Any letf overs." Dean breathed from a long swig of beer.

"Actually, that's what I had." He gave a face that was like, _aww, I wanted another big dinner_. "If you want, I could throw something together for you guys."

"No, that's okay. We just came in for a breather." Sam said.

"What have you two been doing, anyway?"

"It's a bit of a surprise." he answered. Surprise? "You ready?" he looked to Dean.

"Yeah. Satine, come with us." I was a little hesitant but quickly gave in and followed them outside. It was just sprinkling out now, but there was a chilling northern breeze that made us shiver when it blew past.

I was lead to the back of the lodge where Castiel had been waiting beside a large pile of chopped up wood. It had been put together to form almost a bed that was five or six feet high made solidly of the wood. On the ground next to it was a white figure with black rope tied around it periodically.

"Did you want to say goodbye?" Sam asked quietly. That's' when I put it together. It was Jim who was at my feet, wrapped in a white sheet.

I nodded at Sam and he backed up next to his brother and the angel. I knelled beside Jim and sighed. I had always dreaded the day that I'd have to bury my family, and this was too soon, but the day was here.

"I'm sorry, Jim." I whispered to him. _We should have been much older for this. Older better people with families of our own, but you and I both see now that that wasn't going to happen. I remember when Uncle Fisher said that you were coming to stay with us. I couldn't have been more excited to see my long lost brother. I might have been disappointed in what you became, but I won't ever blame you. I understand what the war did to you and Uncle Fisher and that you both had to move on in different ways, but I won't blame you for the path you took._

_I'm sorry that I wasn't a better sister like mom wanted me to be. I should have been there more when you needed me, instead of being at a school that we all knew I was going to fail. Things would have been different. That I know. And now here we are. You and Uncle Fisher._ I gave a small chuckle to myself, trying to press down the lump in my throat_. I tried to run to protect you and him, but he just couldn't bear to let me out of his sight_. I blinked away a tear. _Guess I should have tried harder for you both. Maybe then we wouldn't be here. Not like this._

"Well, I'll see you on the other side bro. Take care of Uncle up there, and mom and dad. Tell them I love them for me, would ya?" I kissed my fingers then placed then softly on the covered face of my brother. "I'll see ya around, 'kay? I love you, Jim."

I stood back up and nodded at the boys who came over and hauled Jim on top of the pile. I kept a hand on the body as it was lifted onto the pile then backed away as Dean and Sam poured lighter fluid onto the wood and body. Sam handed me a match box that I looked at for a few moments before taking a single match, striking it on the side of the box and throwing it onto a puddle of the lighter fluid on a close log. We backed up a good ten feet or so and watched the whole thing slowly catch fire.

It took a good few minutes before the whole thing took, and by that time my eyes were watering with tears from the smoke and the end. This was it.

"Goodbye my brother." I said as quietly as I could to myself.

I was stable until the stench of burning flesh filled the air. That's when I lost control. My knees couldn't hold my weight any longer and I dropped to the ground, not bothering to cover or rub my burning eyes.

I felt a hand on my left shoulder and an arm wrapping around my back from the right. Beside me on the ground was Dean. I leaned on his shoulder as the fire blazed on.

Pops and sizzles came from the wet wood as drops of water fell all around us. I didn't even register that it was raining until a long trench coat was hung around me.

When my hair had become drenched and the fire had died down, I let Dean lead me back into the lodge. I was sat down on the couch then Sam handed me a towel that I wrapped around my hair.

"Alright, you need some pie." Dead said, digging around the fridge till he came over with the only pie left from last night.

"Dean, not now." Sam sighed.

"No, it's fine." I took the pie and slowly dug into its salty crust.

"You'll feel better after that." Dean sat down beside me and flicked on the T.V. at a low volume.

"Sam. Dean. Castiel. Thank you, for this. For everything."

"You got it." Sam said gently.

"Only thing," I spoke through a mouthful of pie, "Why burn, not bury?"

"It's a hunter's funeral. He's soul will go right to heaven and not wander."

"Oh," I finished half the pie then put it back in the fridge. Now it was eleven and I was feeling like being alone for a while.

"So, the pie workin'?" Dean asked with a sure-of-himself smile.

I needed to play along with him to not make the worry. "Actually, I think it is."

"See, pie. Good for everything."

"In fact, it's putting me right to sleep." I yawned.  
>"Okay, see you tomorrow?" Sam asked. His voice sounded like it was checking to see if I was alright.<p>

"Yeah, but hey," they both turned around, "I'm cooking breakfast this time."

"Fine." Dean smiled. And that was the icing on the cake.

I headed back to my room where I sat on my bed and pulled out the black box. Out of the box I pulled out the white feather and a written note. I read the little note a few times over in my head then looked over the feather. When I heard footsteps in the hall, I quickly hid the box, sliding it back under my pillow. As the footsteps continued down the hall, past my room, I sighed then just pulled out my Ipod and put the note and feather on my table.

Just as I was about to hook myself up, I heard, "It's over now." I jumped at the voice and dropped the Ipod in my lap. I turned and gave him a disgruntled look and he replied with a, "I'm sorry." and he looked down at the floor.

"Yes, it's over now." Well that part was over. Now it was time to prepare myself for the next part, but I wasn't going to let them know about my plans. If I go and get myself killed, it'll just be me this time.

"You sound like you don't mean it." he said.

"It has to be the end. What more could we do now?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"Then, it's finished." And now the lying began. I wished he wouldn't press on.

"So what now?" I looked at him, not really understanding the question. "What do you plan on doing now, now that your bother and uncle are gone?"

"Home isn't safe anymore. They can find me there." Just then I noticed that I still had on Castiel's coat. I pulled it off, and folded it in my hands. It was just about dry and I held it out for him to take. He got up and took it then I patted down at the bed beside me, telling him to sit. He paused for a moment but put the coat back on then sat down like I'd asked.

"Then where are you going to go, Satine?" he looked up at me.

"My family is all dead now, and I think Nora killed what was left of them in me. I think, if I can, I'll stay here. I don't have anything left there worth continuing."

"You'll just end it?"

"I don't have to. Nora did that for me. I believe that life is dead, as is that Satine. It's time to start over. A new life." Just then I noticed the feather and what Gabriel had said. I looked back at Castiel and slowly reached out to his hand that sat in his lap. He didn't jerk away, just looked at my hand. "Thank you, Castiel."

"What for?" he slowly looked back at me.

"For bringing me here. For saving me." I ran my fingers through the short hair around his ear. Again, he didn't jerk away, but steadily leaned into my touch.

"I didn't save-" he started but silenced when I turned his face towards me, rubbing his cheekbone with my thumb.

"You did." I said very quietly looking, searching his deep eyes. My heart raced as I leaned forward and closed my eyes. I could feel him under my grip lean towards me and I brought my lips to his. He took in a deep breath as he pushed into me with his face and his hands snaked around me, one behind my head, holding me still, and the other around my back, pushing me closer to him. The energy I felt coming off from him zoomed through me, sending a rush through my veins. My hands traveled from his face to the back of his head, searching for anywhere where they could stick and hold on. Quickly I felt our weight change and before I knew it, he had me on my back with my wrists pinned on either side of my head.

When he finally backed off, I had to gasp for breath as I sat up. I could see that he was also breathless, his shoulders moving quickly as he took in each deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." he breathed, his eyes searching around the room for something to take his gaze away from mine.

"Don't be." I crawled forwards and planted my lips on his cheek. When I stood back up, I grabbed my nightgown then headed to the bathroom. Changed and teeth brushed, I turned down my bed and readied it for sleep. I climbed in after putting the feather and note back in my black box under my pillow then laid down.

The room may have been empty, but it still felt like he was there. I could feel myself still pinned under him as his powerful lips were on mine, trying to devour me. I could still taste the salt from his skin, the warmth of his breath, and the gentleness, but purposefulness of his hands. I could feel his want like he couldn't hold back and this made me smile. The feeling of being wanted, wanted like this, was great. It was refreshing and I enjoyed every second of it.

This was the start of my new life, and not for one second did I feel alone. I felt accepted in this small, odd family that I knew had been through more than most. The boys had a past that I didn't know, but could see on them, an angel who needed guidance and affection, then there was me. The makings of a strong family.

"Cas, there you are." Dean said opening another beer and handing it to Sam.

"Dean, I think there's something wrong with my vessel."

"Why, what's up?"

"It feels like a build-up of heated air in his organs and a throbbing in his chest."

"Wait, hold on. Air like gas?"

"No, not the kind that you produce as a cleanser of the intestines. He has a sickening feeling is the stomach."

"When did it start?"

"Almost a week ago. It wasn't that bad then, but now I can't ignore it. Dean, I think he'll give out soon. Breathing is becoming difficult at times." Castiel said nervously and becoming short of breath.

"Okay, sit down and calm down." Dean sat him at the table and Sam walked over, taking interest in this new ordeal.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"You said it started almost a week ago?"

"Yes, but it isn't constant."

"How often does it occur?" Sam asked.

"There isn't a specific number nor is there a precise time of day, but it happens more often at night."

"At night?" Dean looked at Sam, lost.

"Do you notice to be doing anything that might be different to when it isn't bothering you?" Sam sat down at the table beside him.

"No."

"So it's randomly happening."

"The only thing is that it's stronger when Satine is around."

"Satine?" Sam was even more lost than Dean.

Dean thought over everything again before rolling his eyes and laughing. "Oh my god." he chuckled.

"Dean, how is the state of my vessel funny? Without it, I'll have to travel into the other Novaks."

Dean laughed again then whispered to Sam who was silent for a moment then also started laughing.

"I still fail to see the humor in the situation." Castiel barked, annoyed by their childlike response.

"Cas, you're going to be fine, just fine."

"I am?"

"That was a good one." Dean wiped away a tear forming in his eye.

"Cas, either you or Jimmy are having a reaction to Satine. One of you finds her attractive." Sam explained.

"You get 'em tiger." Dean smiled.

"I don't get it, how does anything have to do with that?"

"See, when a human likes another human they can feel off. Every symptom you listed is every symptom of someone being in love."

"There's connections between physical feelings and thoughts?"

"Afraid so." Dean gently slapped him on the shoulder. "I'm out. Cas, man, you're too much." Dean headed for his room. Castiel gave a slight smile that he didn't understand, but he did feel relief that there was nothing wrong with Jimmy.

"Can I fix it?" Castiel asked Sam.

"There's nothing to fix. Nothing is broken. That's just how we are." Sam said, throwing out his bottle then headed to his room. "Night, Cas."

"Oh, but I'd give her a few days." Dean came back out. "Don't jump into anything yet. She's probably not up for anything yet." Little did Dean know what Satine already did. She had learned from Castiel's own brother about his infatuation and had a slight one with Castiel as well.

With everyone around him sound asleep, Castiel had nothing better to do than just sit with his sweet sweet Satine. And how could he not after what they shared. At her lowest low, she still managed to fit him in with everything that had happened. Did he even deserve this attention? This growing devotion? He was more than willing to return anything that she'd give him without a second thought, but was that what she wanted? Did she really want him or had she picked up on his feelings and just played along with him?

He knew that time changed people, but he feared that it would only lead her away from him. He did, however, hold on to the small hope that she would grow to feel for him more and more each day. And he wondered if someday, she'd be the enchanting angel that he had dreamed about, the one who he'd chased through the forest on more than one occasion. It was a recurring thought that he'd had. Dressed in white on a snowy hill stood Satine with her arms spread open, waiting for him to return to her. He wanted her to want him and not just because he wanted her, but because she truly wanted him. He wanted her to act on her own thoughts and emotions. But more than anything, he wanted her safe and happy.

A single deep breath was taken in below him as she rolled over to face him in her sleep. He knelled on the floor beside the bed and laid his head on the pillow next to hers. Safety was most important to him. He wanted to see his beautiful beautiful Satine to grow old, healthy, happy, and safely. His hidden angel who could be nothing else but an angel.


	10. Chapter 10

10

When my eyes opened to the dark room, I sighed and rolled over to look at the clock. I had been tired last night and wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep. Five. Great. I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. It was too early for me to be up, but there was no turning back now. I turned on the lamp beside me and sighed.

I took out a fresh set of clothes and headed for the shower. Once I was clean and my hair was done, the sky was starting to turn to a dark blue. The sun wasn't far away.

Back in my room I saw that I'd left my note and feather out. I slipped them back in the box when I noticed an odd tangle of vegetation on my pillow. I inspected it to find three different types of flowers, weaved together. The main one was a thick stem of a small rose looking plant with thin thorns along the stem. The flowers themselves were a delicate light pink that faded to white around the yellow center. Around that one was a small grouping of white jasmine. They were simple but pretty. And tied around them was a single strand of a small yellow flower whose bloom shrunk as the stem grew, leaving only buds at the tip. It was a small but colorful arrangement, but who was it from? Castiel maybe?

I looked them over for a sign of who they were from, but nothing came to me. Then I looked at where I'd found them, right where I'd found the feather. Gabriel had sent them. Odd flowers from an angel, I thought. Then it came to me. Each flower had a different meaning. It was a message. I had little memory of meanings of flowers, so I'd have to look them up.

Out in the kitchen I made a pot of coffee then stood on the small back deck where I enjoyed the cup as the first lights of morning sprang across the sky. The warm liquid in my hands warmed me up from the slight chill in the breeze of a departing storm. Once the cup was empty, I headed back inside to start breakfast.

Today was going to be breakfast sandwiches. Bread in the toaster and bacon frying in a pan on the gas stove sent a delicious scent into the air. I hoped that it alone would get the boys up. Next I moved onto the eggs which I scrambled and mixed with cheese before turning them over into a small omelet. When three were done I took the toast and buttered it then put an omelet on each set with two strips of bacon. When they were done, I set the table and was greeted by a yawning Sam.

"Mornin'." I said sitting down.

"Morning." He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to his plate.

"Dean up?"

"Yeah," another yawn. "Looks great, thanks Satine."

"No problem."

"God, I can smell it in bed." Dean sauntered out and sat down. "So good." he said after one mouthful.

"Good." I was just about done with mine already. Mother used to make these for us when we were little so I'd had the system down to the T. Uncle Fisher had made the same thing.

"Satine, I don't know how we lived without you."

"You lived off of burgers and pancakes, I'm assuming."

"Got that right." Sam laughed.

When we finished, Sam did the dishes and I brought out the flowers from my room. "Mind if I use your laptop?"

"Sure." I popped it open and typed in the descriptions of the flowers and found out the yellow one was agrimonia, the pink one was sweetbrier, and I was correct that the last was jasmine. Next was find out meanings. Sweetbrier came up quickly as a flower of sympathy. Agrimonia was next with the meaning of thankfulness. But because jasmine was such a common flower, it had thousands of different meanings, many of them valid.

"Hey, you guys know lore, right?"

"Yeah," Sam answered, drying his hands on a kitchen towel.

"What does jasmine symbolize?"

"Depends, what color?"

"White."

"Normally it means love, but there are a lot of different meanings for jasmine."

"Yeah, love doesn't make sense." I said and sat back in the chair, stumped. Well, there went that idea. I guess I'd just have to ask him next time he decided to poof me into a dream.

"Why, what are you looking for?"

"Just for notes." I said and headed back to my room. In my bag I pulled out a note book and pen then wrote down the date and listed the flowers and their meanings, then next to them, I wrote down where I'd found them. A few lines down I noted the odd occurrence of the angel in my dream and his proposal then the feather. I was going to pay close attention to any angel interaction, needing to better understand why things were suddenly taking interest in me.

"So any plans for today?" I asked Dean who'd just gotten out of the shower and was hovering over the table in the kitchen.

"Yeah, you."

"Me?"

"Deals a deal. You're getting some training." This I was very excited about. Now I could start my preparations on demon hunting.

"Sweet. When do we start?"

"Right now." he said then threw an empty cup at me that I dodged just in time. "Good, you gotta be ready for thing like that."

"Like flying cups?"

"Yeah, laugh it up, but when it's a knife coming towards your face, it loses the hilarity. Come with me outside. We're practicing shooting." I followed him outside where he had a sand bag leaned up against a tree with a target on it. "Okay, we'll start with this." He handed me a shotgun. "Stand here, put the butt of the rifle in your armpit and aim for the center." I did like he said, stood about twenty feet away then held up the gun. "Don't pull the trigger until you're ready. The safety is off now."

I aimed the gun at towards the sand bag and braced myself for the recoil before pulling the trigger. The gun sent of a powerful recoil that I quickly regained my balance from then looked at my mark. I'd hit the tree, nowhere near the target. Damn.

"It's a good start. Try again."

I slightly spread my legs apart this time before taking aim to better me for the recoil. I aimed the gun a little lower this time then took in a deep breath before pulling the trigger. The recoil wasn't as bad this time and I faltered a lot less. When I looked at my shot, I smiled.

"Beginner's luck." Dean said before motioning me to try again. I'd hit dead center of the target. I took the same stance and took in a deep breath then pulled the trigger again. Hitting the target in the same spot, I looked at Dean, ready to move on.

"Alright, Lone Ranger, try this one." He handed me a pistol with a while polished handle. "Less of a recoil on this one, but handguns are less accurate. Empty the clip."

Six shots later I looked back up at Dean. "Like I said less accurate. We'll have to work on hitting your target." No new holes were made in the sandbag.

"I did hit my target." I said with a smile.

Dean took another looked at the target then got a closer look. "What are ya talking about?" he looked back over at me then I nodded past the tree to an old beer can that was about another five feet behind the tree and had been blown to bits.

"We should skip the gun lesson. My brother beat you to that one."

"Brother?"

"Yeah, Jim had fought in Iraq and I was given a few lessons on guns." I gave the gun back to Dean who was speechless. "Moving on." I said.

"Well, I kinda figured we'd do guns all day. Sam was going to teach you about things to ward away demons, but I can see if he'd ready now."

"Okay." I followed him back inside and decided to make myself a sandwich while I waited.

"Sorry, guess we didn't expect you to have guns down already." Sam said, carrying his laptop with him from the other room. He sat it down on the table and turned it towards me. "We can start with the basics, salt, holy water, iron, things like that." He went on about how salt could be used to create a burier between us and demons or spirits. Next was holy water and the effect it had on most supernatural beings. Iron was used on ghosts to ward them away and how other beings had reactions to it and silver. Next we moved on to demon traps that could hold demons within them and give us a chance to exerciser them. Different sigils were used to trap some spirits and others bound buildings to keep angles, demons, and spirits away.

It was a lot of information to learn but I caught on pretty quickly.

Finally when Sam said we were done for the night, Dean came out with the leather bound book that he'd been going through the night Castiel had brought me to them.

"This was our father's journal. Everything we know about everything we know about is in here." Dean said, holding the book out. When I reached for it, he slightly pulled back then said, "Don't lose it." I could see the connection he had with this book. It must have been very important to his father too.

"Thank you. I won't."

Now that it was dark out, I started dinner of fried chicken, boiled potatoes, and canned corn. Dinner was served by seven and we sat down. The boys were excited again by dinner. Home cooked meals must not have been what they grew up on or something. I wasn't that great of a cook, but everything that I'd made so far seemed to bring tears to their eyes.

Dinner and dishes were done then we sat down to a show that we'd watched for three almost three days now, Scrubs. Yeah they were all reruns but all three of us enjoyed them.

The rest of the pie was finished this time, I couldn't believe that it had lasted this long actually. Once that was all done, I got kind of bored of crap T.V., but to my surprise, Sam was the first one to go to bed tonight.

"Big baby." Dean called after him.

"Yeah, good night to you too." Sam called behind him.

"No Castiel today?" I asked.

"Guess, not. He's been around a lot more then he normally does. He's been acting kind of weird lately."

I turned to Dean. "Has he?"

"Well, just a little." he said with a stupid grin.

"If you say so." That's when I began to wonder if some how Dean found out about me and Castiel from last night. The door had been closed, so the only way he would have would have been if Castiel had told him. But Castiel, didn't seem like he'd spill. Then I thought, no, Dean doesn't know. He would have said something a long time ago if he did.

"Dean, do you know any angels other than Castiel?" I asked randomly.

"Well, yeah. Sam and I knew a fair share of angels."

"Like who?"

"We knew, Lucifer, Micheal, Rafael, this rich boy, Balthazar, Samandriel, and Gabriel."

"You lost contact with them?"

"Most of them are dead. Lucifer and Micheal are locked in hell right now, but the rest of them are dead."

"I didn't know angels could die."

"Everything can die."

"Even gods?"

"Death told me that even god will die."

"Hold on, Death, as in the grim reaper?"

"No those are different. Death is just his own thing."

"Oh my god." I said to myself. There was so much more other there then I could have imagined. It was almost ridiculous. "Then, on that note, I'm going to bed. Gotta let everything sink in."

"You alright?" he asked, sitting forward in his seat.

"Yeah,"

"Satine?"

"Really Dean, I'm fine." I gave him a small smile to reassure him. I was fine, for once. Everything was moving on and I was alright now. "Goodnight." I said, ruffling his hair as I walked by.

"Goodnight, Satine." I could hear him say quietly as I walked to my room. I got changed and washed up in the bathroom then headed back to my bedroom. I looked at the journal on the table beside the bed then headed back to the living room.

"Dean?"

"Yeah,"

"What was your dad's name?"

"John, why?" he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Just asking."

"Something up?"

"No," I smiled, "Goodnight." Back in my room I took another look at John's journal then went to my notes. Jasmine. It was odd to think I'd be getting messages from a dead angel through flowers. Tomorrow I'd go through John's book and see if he had anything on flowers. It wasn't likely but it was worth a shot.

I laid down and turned the light off. After I had been still in bed for a while, I could hear the creaking of floor boards.

"I was wondering when you pop in." I said to the darkness. "I was starting to miss you." I held out my hand from under the blankets. Soon it was gently grasped and I could feel a thumb rubbing across my knuckles. Then I pulled on the hand and scooted over in the bed so that I was pressed up against the wall.

Once we were both settled in the bed I rolled over so that I was facing him. I could make out the outline of his face in the moonlight coming in through the window. "Where were you?" I asked quietly.

"Heaven. They called me to fix something."

"Is everything better now?"

"It was just a misunderstanding."

"Good. Glad to hear."

He rolled over onto his side so that he was facing me then asked, "What did you do today?" It sounded funny coming from him, such a normal question.

"Made breakfast sandwiches, practiced shooting with Dean, then Sam and I studied sigils, then it was dinner time."

"What did you make?"

"Hmm, fried chicken, boiled potatoes, and corn. What's with all the questions tonight?"

"Is that not what you normally do? Ask people how their day was, what they did?"

"Yeah, I guess it is." I yawned.

"Sleep, Satine." he breathed heavily through his nose. "I'll watch over you." It felt like he'd done that almost every night that I'd been with them, and so far, they were some of the best nights of sleep I'd ever had.

"Goodnight, Castiel." I said, kissing him then rolling onto my other side. Before I was fully asleep, I could feel him creeping closer on top of the blankets. I could feel his warmth on the back of my neck and I smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

11

Another bright sunny morning awoke me in my empty bed. I wondered why he never stayed the whole night, but that was just Castiel. I sat up and rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, but got off coarse when I noticed it was quiet in the lodge. Too quiet for this time of morning. Sam and Dean should have both been up now. I knocked on their bedroom door, but no one answered. Maybe they had gotten a case early this morning and left a note somewhere in the kitchen. I went to the bathroom and straight away knew something was off. I was fully dressed when I looked in the mirror. Dressed in a light pink 50's dress with my hair brushed out perfectly.

"What the...?" I mumbled to myself then headed out to the kitchen. Whatever kind of prank this was, it wasn't funny. I was halfway thought the kitchen when it hit me.

I went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs, bacon, and cheese, then like Dean had said, went for the paprika and pepper. Next I set up the stove and started scrambling the eggs. Even to go all out, I started some toast in the toaster. When the eggs were ready, I dropped in the little pieces of cheese and bacon and stirred them in until the eggs were ready to be flipped over. Spices went in next. When they were all cooked, I got out a single plate, fork and butter knife, put the eggs on the plate and the toast on the side.

I was pouring a glass of milk when I said, "It's going to be cold if you don't hurry up."

"Way ahead of ya'." he said. I turned around to find him already at the table, unfolding his napkin. I set down the glass of milk beside him on the table, then leaned back at the counter with my arms crossed. Just then I noticed the small vase of cut purple lilacs on the table.

"Oh, come on. Not even a giggle." I just raised an eyebrow at him. "Alright fine, don't laugh."

"You think you're so funny, don't you Gabriel?"

"Yes, very much so." he said looking up from his omelet, very sure of himself.

"Pink? Why pink?" I held up the ends of my dress in disgust.

"You love pink."

"No," I stressed, "I hate pink. Any other color but pink. Any."

"I'll try to remember that next time." he smiled down at the food, like he'd known I hated pink.

"So, what's up with the jasmine?"

"No jam? Not even a little?" he whined at the buttered toast.

"You know, for a powerful archangel, you're pretty helpless."

"Am I?" he looked back up with a smirk.

"Yes," I nodded. "Now the jasmine. Spill."

"Well, it's no fun if I just tell you." He held out his other piece of toast towards me.

"I haven't got all night."

"Oh, come on. You totally do." I shook my head and sat down across from him, taking the toast and taking a bite.

"You're ridiculous." I smiled. He saw and laughed, like he'd just gotten me with the best prank ever. "What are you, some kind of trickster or something?"

"You hit the nail on the head, my dear. I kinda went by The Trickster for a while."

"Like I said, ridiculous." I took another bite of the toast. "So nothing about the flowers?" He just watched me silently, while finishing his toast. "Super helpful."

"That's me. Great job with Castiel, by the way. Who knew you had it in ya?" I just rolled my eyes at him as the clock chimed in the background. Great, here we go and I got nothing out of him. "Time flies, doesn't it? Well, you make a superb omelet." he said wiping his mouth. "We should do this again sometime."

We both stood from the table. "Yeah, maybe."

"Oh right, a word of caution. The whole demon hunting thing. Be careful. Don't get yourself too caught up in it. That's a dangerous game right there."

"And you care, why?"

"Listen to me, don't listen to me. I'm just telling you. It would break my poor brother's heart if something happened to you by the hand of a demon."

"Yeah, yeah. Listen next time you want to talk through flowers, pick ones that don't have a thousand meanings would ya?"

"I'll try to keep that in mind." he said calmly. "Goodbye, Satine." he lifted up his hand then snapped his fingers.

I opened my eyes again to a dark room. I rolled over onto my back when something rolled off the pillow onto my face. This time it was a feather intertwined with a bell shaped flower.

"Everything alright?" a quiet voice asked from beside me.

"Yeah, just a dream." I said, tucking the flower and feather under my pillow. I'd look this one up tomorrow, and if I was lucky, this one would have a more direct meaning.


	12. Chapter 12

12

A constant patter of heavy rain belted onto glass ahead of me and to both sides of me.

"No, we take the next exit." a female voice said in front of me.

"Beth, I know where I'm, going. I've taken this road every week for years." a male one said.

"Alright, but I thought they said it was under construction."

"Snow. Momma, snow." a little voice said. This is when I opened my eyes. I was in the middle of the backseat of a car. In the driver's seat I could see a head with balding dark hair. Next to him was a short haired blond woman with glasses who turned around and looked back at me with a smile.

"It is, baby. When we get to Uncle Fisher's, we can get your sled out. How's that sound?" her soft voice asked.

"Yes." the little, squeaky voice almost squealed with excitement, stretching the s far more than necessary.

"Alright." she smiled then turned back to the road ahead of her. The windshield was blurry with condensation and the pelting sleet. I looked out the window to my left and saw that the mix was turning more to snow than anything else then smiled at the sky. Snow was always so exciting.

"Daddy, how much long?" the little voice asked, not finishing her words properly.

"Just a little while longer, kiddo." he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. We were going to visit Uncle Fisher for the weekend. The floor around me was full of bags of clothing, and a dipper bag. The seat next to me held in a dark leather bag that belonged to my mother. Most likely filled with books on myths and legends. She was always one for fantasy and occasionally she would write a short story for the local paper. Dad's much smaller dark green bag was on my right, full of only the essentials; clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, and a contact case. He packed lightly for our weekend trips we took every month to see Uncle Fisher. Jim was already in listed in the military and was away for months at a time, so we would take time to get out of the house as much as we could. Mother would worry so much when we were stuck in the house, so getting away helped her de-stress.

"See, ramp 7 is closed." mom pointed out.

"Damn, we'll have to back track about thirty miles through farm country." We pulled off at the next exit and started making our way back north, going down a winding highway. At one point we ended up a hill that made the road curve at sharp turns. On one side of the street was a little bed and breakfast next to a small gift shop. Both were unusually busy. At the base of the hill was a historic farming town that had a few museums which were popular in the summer and spring. The other side of the road was a slight drop off at the corner of the bend then it slightly flattened out into a rocky hill with damp trees that lead down to a decent sized, dreary lake.

Dad was just turning on the radio as we passed the little bed and breakfast when mom shouted, "Steven, look out!"

"Oh my god!" dad yelled then then viciously turned the steering wheel to the right, thrashing the car around something in the middle of the road. As we went around it, I could see the tall dark figure standing in the middle of the road. We were almost all the way around it when underneath the car I felt us slide. We'd hit black ice that sent us into the guard rail on the right side of the road, but we were too heavy for that to stop us alone. We slammed through the rail and hurtled down the drop at the end of the road.

I screamed along with my mother and father for the few long seconds it took for us to hit the ground, grill of the car facing down. One hard SLAM! I shrieked and felt tears running down my face as the windows shattered around me and glass flew everywhere. Another hard CRASH, this time on the right side of the car. Bags few past me. One hit me in the head on its way back down to my feet. "OW!" I could smell smoke now and something bright flashed in the front of the car, something red and yellow and hot. Two more SLAMS, one above me then another under me. We stopped hard after one more BASH above me, then we rocked back and forth for a few moments then we stilled.

The car was quiet and nothing moved. I was hanging by my car seat upside down. Two scared tears rolled off my face. I yanked at the straps around me as I called out, "Momma, Daddy." No one answered. "Mama!" I screamed, but she didn't turn around. Red dripped off her nose and her arms dangled down to the roof of the car under her. "Daddy!" Nothing. Their eyes were both closed and they were silent, motionless.

After three more tugs at the straps around me, I was able to free myself. I fell with a thud to the roof below me. A puff of smoke started to burn my eyes and I had to cough. I crawled towards momma and reached for her hand when something started to creak beside me. I gasped and turned to watch the creaking twisted door bust open with a grunt. The door was pulled off its bent hinges and was sent flying to the ground.

A set of legs bent down and knelled on the muddy ground beside the new opening and out flew the smoke. A cough came from outside and a face appeared in the opening, frantically looking around the car. A set of eyes settled on me after a few quick sweeps of the car.

"Hey, come here." a gentle voice said. I didn't obey, not wanting to leave mommy and daddy. Another large cloud of smoke was pushed through the air into his face and he had to back out to cough. I stayed low where I could breath and just watched the man come back down to the car and he held out a hand towards me. "Come on, honey. Come here." A slight franticness started to edge into his voice as he looked past me towards momma then at the bent dashboard.

I slowly gave in and crawled forward, reaching out for his hand. He took my hand and carefully pulled me out of the car and held me up to his face where he looked me over. He brought his thumb to my forehead and wiped something red away from my eyes. He looked at the red on his finger as it mixed with the melting snow, falling from the sky.

"Momma?" I breathed, my breath visible in the cold, moist air. My hair was dripping now with snow and rain.

I was brought closer to the man's chest, under his coat that he was folding around me as he said, "It's going to be alright, sweetheart." His heartbeat thumped in my ear. A steady beat that lulled me. He stood up and looked around before starting up with hill with me in his arms. A loud growling came from behind him, towards the car that we were leaving. I tried to look around his coat to see the growling, but he wrapped the coat around me tighter. "What's that?" I asked. He didn't answer, just started to run up the hill then jumped behind a big rock when the growling got louder. His muscles stiffened up around me and the coat was tight around us when a loud BOOM went off and a bright light flashed. The man looked up over the rock after a few seconds before balling up again when one more BOOM!

"Satine!"

"AH!" I bolted up covered in sweat and screaming. I crossed my arms across my chest and held myself.

"Satine," I turned over, breathing heavily, and looked at Castiel who looked more than concerned. I let out a breath and fell forward.

"It was just the dream." I whispered as a stray tear made its way out of my eye. "Just the dream."

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly, putting a hand on my back, looking me over. I sat up after taking in deep breaths and looked at Castiel.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"What happened?"

"It's just a dream that I have sometimes."

"You were calling out for your mother and father."

"I was?" He nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean you wake you." I laid back down and rolled over to face the wall. I saw that the sun was coming up, but after that dream, I was never ready to get up. I never needed pictures to remember me of my father or mother's faces, I always had that dream to remember them. Their voices from that day were still fresh in my memory.

"What happened to your parents, Satine?"

"They died in a car accident." I said to the wall.

"Was that the dream, remembering the news?"

"No." I paused. Many people didn't know about that day. Only my close childhood friends and my family. "I was in the car with them." I rolled onto my back and pushed the hair up from my forehead to show him the scare that I was left with. "I don't really talk about it."

He surprised me when he bent forward and kissed the scar then laid down with his head touching my shoulder. I could feel him looking up at me like he was waiting for me to speak anyway. I took in a deep breath went I started, "I was three when we on our way to my Uncle Fisher's house while my brother was off fighting in the war. We had to take a detour that day in sleet up through the hills of New York. Someone was in the middle of the road and we hit ice swerving out of the way and drove off the road down the hill. The car flipped when we crashed and landed upside down.

"The car was on fire but I was too young to understand it so I stayed close to my mother and father who we either dead or unconscious."

"What made you leave?"

"A man must have seen the crash and ran down to the wreck and pulled off the door off the twisted metal and got me out. Just in time too. A few seconds later it exploded with my mother and father still inside."

"Who was the man?" The question brought me back to the memory. The man's face was never clear. Nothing about him was ever clear. I knew it was a man and that was it. His face was hidden from me as well as anything about his voice. All I remembered was that it was kind and gentle. I remembered him hiding behind the rock with me. In his arms I cried as the fire blazed close by. He took another look at the car and stood up.

"Shh." he hushed and rocked me in his arms. "What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked as he turned and started back up the hill.

"Satine." I said through my tears.

"That's a pretty name. Satine, where were you going?" he tried to keep me talking.

"To Uncle Fisher's house."

"Where does he live?"

"Mallard street." Mother had gone over with me uncle's address every time we went out there, but numbers meant nothing to me yet, only names.

We were just about up the hill when we were greeted by a women in a white shirt and blue apron and an older man in red and brown, running towards us. "We called an ambulance." the women said, frantic. "Is she alright?"

"Yeah," the man in the coat answered.

"Anyone else?" the other man asked. The one above me shook his head.

"Where's mommy?" I asked him as we crossed the wet road. I looked to where the person had been in the road, but no one was there. It was empty, like no one had ever been there. No foot prints in the slush. Nothing.

"Baby, it's alright." the woman assured.

The man looked down at me then asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes!" I never turned down food, never.

"Phil, get Mark going with pancakes." the woman said to the man in red. He nodded and ran ahead of us to the bed and breakfast. People saw the commotion and were starting to gather at the broken guardrail and a few were running up to me.

"Is she okay?" "Is everyone alright?" "Is anyone else down there?" "We heard the wreck." "Anything we can do?" We were getting crowded and I pushed closer to the man, frightened.

"Unless, you're a doctor, get out of the way!" he commanded and pushed through the crowd to the building, covering my head with his large hand. We crossed the parking lot when a harsh wind blew past and then we were in the warm building. The woman sat us down at a booth close to the back of the dining room. The man sat me down on the edge of the table and lifted up my hair. "I think it's just a bruise and cut." he said.

The women left and came back with a few napkins that she dabbed my head with. "Does anything hurt, sweetie?"

"My head." I said. She looked my head over, under my hair, my neck, but I only had the one injury.

Then a large man dressed in all white with a tall hat came from the kitchen with a plate of pancakes in his hand. The man in red, Phil, followed close behind him as he sat the plate down beside me on the table. The man with the coat sat me down in the booth then turned sharply at the crowd that was building near us. The man in white and Phil shooed the people along as the man with the coat took a knife and fork and started cutting up the pancakes.

He got up when they were all cut and talked with the woman. I'd eaten a good chunk of pancakes when I heard a loud siren outside. Red and blue lights flashed from the parking lot.

"Satine, we have to talk to the men with the truck now." the woman said. I looked at her then down at the pancakes then back at her. "Don't worry. They'll wait."

The man with the coat put his arm around my waist and put me in his arms close to his chest under his coat again before heading back outside. It was windier than before and bitter cold. We walked towards a white and blue truck with the flashing lights as a big red truck drove to the edge of the road where the car had gone over. Two teams of people ran down the hill towards the wreck and a woman in dark blue came up to us.

"Is she hurt?" she asked.

"I don't think so." She looked down at me then led us to the truck where I was sat down on a thin bed with wheels. An orange blanket was wrapped around me after I was looked over quickly and a bandage was put on my forehead.

"Do you know her?" The man shook his head. "Any other survivors?" Again he shook his head.

"A man and a women in the front seats." he was able to report.

"Has she said anything?"

"Her name is Satine. She said they were on their way to her Uncle Fisher's house on Mallard street."

"Right, we'll call around." the women headed to the front of the truck and spoke to someone inside. "Thank you, sir. We'll take over from here." she said when she came back. He stepped away after a hesitation then he disappeared into a crowd of people who were put behind yellow tape.

Soon a silver car drove up and out came Uncle Fisher. He ran over to the guardrail and covered his mouth. "Did anyone make it out?!" he shouted looking around. The women in dark blue went over to him and pointed to me. Uncle Fisher ran over to me and kissed the top of my head and threw his arms around me. "You're alright. You're alright." he repeated over and over then kissed the top of my head.

"Uncle Fisher, when is momma and daddy coming back?" He didn't answer, just held me tightly. "Hurt." I said, asking him to let me go.

"Is she going to be alright?" he asked the women in dark blue.

"I think she'll be fine, but we're going to take her to the hospital just to be safe."

"Alright. Babe, I'll be right behind you the whole way, okay?"

"Momma?" Again, nothing.

Uncle Fisher ran back to his car as a black and white car with flashing blue light drove up along with a white van with a large number ten on it. A women dressed in a bright red dress jumped out and opened an umbrella. A man with a large camera followed her closely.

"We're going to the hospital now." the woman in dark blue said as she jumped in the back of the truck with me. I took a look at the crowd of people in the parking lot as she closed the doors. I saw the woman in the apron, the man in white, the older man in red named Phil, and many other people. Many other faces where there too, only I had no connection with any of them, until I saw one towards the back. A man with light brown hair and hazel eyes. No. No, there was no way. I hadn't recognized him before. I didn't know him yet. It was Gabriel standing in the crowd. What the hell was he doing there, at the death of my parents.

"Satine?"

"Huh?" I snapped back.

"Who was the man?"

"I don't know. Every time I have the dream, I can't see his face, like I have no memory of it. His voice. Nothing. I just remember what he did. That's all." It always stumped me. Why could I never see his face? It was like I'd blocked it out. And why was Gabriel there? Of all the people, why him? And if he was there, why had he done nothing? My parents might still be alive if he'd done something. I knew he had the power. It was just something else to add to the list of things I didn't understand about him. "My uncle looked for him back at the bed and breakfast for days to thank him, but we never saw him again. I never saw him again. He was just passing through that day."

"He was a very kind man."

"Yeah, he was." I smiled at the partial memory of the man. I could see him walking away again, back to the crowd after he'd made sure I was safe again. Then I could see Gabriel again, his face standing out in the crowd. "Castiel?"

"Hm?"

"How do angels die?"

"At the hands of other angels. Why?"

"I wasn't sure that they could."

"Everything dies." Just that reminder made me role over to face the wall and breathe heavily out my nose. I didn't want angels to die. They were the good ones. The light in darkness. And that meant Castiel could die too. I don't think I would be able to pull myself together again if he died. Sam, Dean, any of them. They were the only things I had left.

Something nudged me gently on the shoulder then wrapped around my torso. I moved my face over slightly to see the angel hugging me to him. His eyes were closed and his face was burring into my neck. I wrapped my hands around his arms and hugged them tight to me.

It was quiet for a few minutes, before Castiel asked, "Satine, why do people do this?" His voice was muffled by my hair.

I smiled before answering, "To feel close with one another. The less boundaries the closer we feel." He wouldn't understand this, and why should he? This was all new to him. "It's just to be near to each other."

"Reassurance?"

"Yeah," I answered then went quiet for a moment. "Castiel? Why did Nora pick me? There are thousands of people. Why me?"

"There are too many reasons to give you a proper answer. I don't really know."

Out in the hall I could hear someone moving around. It had to be around nine and we needed to get up now. I'd have my answer soon enough, when we were face to face again, I'd rip it from her if I have to.

"Come on, time to get up." I sat up and pulled from Castiel's arms then moved to the bathroom. When I got back, Castiel was still sitting on my bed, looking at something. "What is it?" I asked, coming for a closer look.

"You can read this?" he asked quietly.

"Read what?" I looked over his shoulder at the note he had in his hands. Once I saw what it was, I reached forward and snatched it away from him. Next to him on the bed was the little black box, lid off, continence open to view by the world. I took the box away and closed it again and held it to my chest.

"Satine?" he asked carefully and tried to look into my eyes.

"Don't ever go in this box again." I commanded in a whisper.

"Can you read it?"

"Yes," I hissed. "Don't ever bring it up again." Knowing he crossed a line, I blinked and he was gone. Nowhere in the room.

I slid the box back under my pillow with extra care that no one who lay eyes on it again. That box was the most important thing I had to my name. I sat on the bed and pulled out the flower that was entwined with a father and turned them over in my hands. I could never let anything happen to that box. I needed to protect it, so I sat beside it for a while.

"Dean,"

"What's up, Cas?"

"I think I understand everything."

"Everything?"

"Why Nora was bound to Satine, why she was a proper vessel."

"Why?"

"She can read Enochian." Dean put down his drink and his eyes widened.

"How do you know?"

"She has a piece of paper in her room with Enochian written on it. She said she could read it. It's all starting to make since. She told me about her parents' death. We know about her brother and uncle's deaths. Everything is falling right into place."

"Cas, I don't understand."

"She isn't just any vessel. She's _the_ vessel."

Knock. Knock. Knock. I looked up at the door as it slowly opened.

"Hey, you alright? I thought you'd be up for breakfast by now." Dean's voice said through the slightly opened door.

"Sorry, I got caught up in something. I'll be right out to cook."

"No, it's fine. Sam and I aren't hungry."

"Oh, you sure?"

"Yeah. Cas, told us you were pretty upset about something. You want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Just something about my mother."

"What about her?"

"It's- nothing, never mind." He looked at me, not letting my gaze go. "It just, I'm very protective of the only things I have left of her."

"Listen, I get it. The Impala was dad's and I have a hard time letting Sam drive it. It was my connection to him."

"Exactly. She left a few things for me that I don't let people see, let alone touch."

"Cas in everything?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I know he doesn't know better, but it's just very important to me."

"Hey, you need your boundaries. Don't be sorry."

"I didn't frighten him off did I?"

"Don't worry about him. He'll come round soon enough." Dean stood up. "Kitchen is free if you were hungry." He left and I decided I needed to go somewhere. I ran outside and found my uncle's car in the drive way. I didn't even knew we had it but jumped into the car and took off.


	13. Chapter 13

13

Everything was dark, so dark. Dark, and cold. Cold and damp. Where am I? I can't see anything and I can't move. I'm stuck. Sitting up in a chair, I can feel a blinding around my wrists pined behind my back and my ankles tied together. I'm not hurt, but I am afraid.

Close by I can feel a warmth, like a small fire or heater. I sniff the air. It's a fire, but only a little one. I can't hear the popping of wood so it must be a gas fire, something contained. A fire must mean I'm not alone so I keep quiet not to let them know I am awake. Carefully I try to shimmy out of my bindings, but with no luck. I stay blindfolded and tied to the chair, waiting, for anything really. I don't know where I am or who I'm with, but the position I'm currently in, I know it's no friend of mine.

I sat still and quiet for who knows how long before I got a strong gulp of smoke and I had to cough. Crap, I thought.

"Satine?" a calm voice said.

"Castiel?" Everything inside of me settled at the sound of his voice. I felt safe now.

"Satine, are you alright?" he asked with a slight franticness in his voice.

"I think so. Where are we?" I turned my head while speaking, trying to figure out where he was.

"I'm not sure. Somewhere in the Midwest."

He was quiet for a few minutes and I realized that I was still tied up. "Uh... Castiel, could you untie me please?"

I could hear him sigh before saying, "I can't." My heart sank.

"Why?" I tried to speak calmly, but I was more than afraid knowing he couldn't help me. "Castiel, why can't you untie me?" I asked again, this time with a lot more anger. What had they done to him?

"I'm-I'm trapped." he finally answered in a small voice. A scared voice.

I remembered what Sam had taught me about traps for creatures. An angel trap was a ring of holy oil lit on fire. That what the smell was. Now I knew we were screwed. Castiel would die the moment he set foot outside of that circle. He'd never be able to get to me.

"Are Sam and Dean looking for us?"

"I don't know. They could still be asleep. We've only been gone a few hours."

Something above me slammed and I jerked away as something landed with a CRASH beside me. Something hot.

"Castiel, what was that?"

"Fire." he barely breathed. Above us I could hear the sound of spreading flames. The ceiling above us was catching fast and I could smell and feel it. The heat quickly overcame the room. I sweat in fear as smoke started to fill the close, stagnate air.

"Castiel, is there anything around that I could knock over?" I asked, knowing that I could wiggle the chair to tip over.

"Satine, we are in a wooden room in a warehouse. There's nothing." he said, hopeless. "Satine, I don't know what to do."

Something else fell beside me. My guess a piece of burning wood. I could feel the sparks jumping off the wood and burning my pant legs.

"Ouch." I coughed to myself through the heavy smoke. The intense heat above me was painful to the bare skin of my face and hands.

I couched deep, painful couches full of smoke. The air was thick with smoke.

"Satine, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." his voice quaked. He would survive this and continue on, but my chances were dwindling with each passing second and he knew that. So did I.

"Castiel, it's going to be alright." I tried to sooth him like a mother would do to her frightened child. "Everything is going to be alright, I promise." How ridiculous did I look, telling him that somehow everything would be alright? He was trapped and I was tied up. This was going to be my end. This here was it. By the hands of a demon? That was not certain, but human or demon, that didn't matter. This was my end and it was beside an angel._ My_ angel. At least no one else was going to get hurt at my hands. This was the final end to all of that.

I turned over towards him, "Castiel, thank you for everything." I smiled at him, not sure if he could see me and said, "Really, thank you." Each word burned my mouth as to bring tears to my eyes. I could hear something soft hit the floor and knew that he had fallen to his knees. This was braking him apart.

Something creaked above me then he shouted, "Satine!" as something fell above me.

"Satine!" the angel screamed with all his might as burning pieces of wood fell all around the defenseless woman. On his knees, he stood back up and waited for any sign of movement, anything to tell him she was alright, but nothing. "Satine?" he asked over the fire. Nothing. "Satine?" he asked louder. Nothing still. The fire raged on around him and he couldn't see her anymore. She was gone. He'd lost her. "No," he whispered. "NO!" he wailed and fell to the burning ground. She didn't have a chance. Tied to a chair and blindfolded. There was nothing she could do, and nothing he could do to help her. By the time his trap was broken, she would be nothing but ash if anything at all. It was already too late. He'd lost her.

For the first time his eyes watered and tears rolled down his face. His eyes burned and it hurt him so. He covered his face with his hands and wept. He allowed this to happen somehow. How could he let this happen? This was all his fault he told himself. He could have seen this coming. He should have, but he didn't and now his angel was gone. Stolen from him by an unknown enemy.

"Castiel," a female voice spoke to him in silence. He picked up his head and opened his eyes to a bright room with modern furniture and a lady dressed in gray with pinned up red hair. He wiped his face dry and looked at the floor below the lady. "Castiel, this had to happen. You know that it could never work between you two. She is a human, and not just any human but the vessel. She would have brought so much destruction if Crowley had gotten a hold on her again."

He just look at the floor, not saying a word. There was nothing he could say. She had become his world, everything he cared about.

"This should just be a lesson. Think of it as only that. Too many angels have done this and watched their human lovers fade with age and suffer a horrid painful death."

"You did this?" he looked up at her with furry in his eyes.

"Castiel, we saved her from a death by a demon and so many other's deaths. She would have led to one of the biggest wars we've ever fought and you have to understand that. It's over. It's done with."

"I needed her!" he stood and roared at her.

"You should have followed your orders!" she roared back at him. "You were told to end her and you ignored it. You stepped out of your place! How dare you ignore orders!"

"You killed her, knowing that she could have been on our side!" spit poured off his lips and sweat streamed down his face.

"It couldn't have worked, Castiel. Why don't you understand that? Elizabeth lost her grace for a reason. She'd fall to the same fate if not worse. She is still human, not an angel. She'd have fallen to the demons too easily."

He said nothing, just looked her in the eye with hatred. No looks of understanding crossed his face.

"Maybe it'll just have to sink in. Human emotions don't look good on you, Castiel."

He blinked and opened his eyes back to the smoky room of bright fire. He didn't care that he was shunned by all of heaven now. He wished they'd never come to him again, not now that they'd ripped his heart out and burned it.

"Castiel?" a voice asked through the smoke. He looked around, but couldn't see who it was.

"Satine is dead." he called out to the voice with nothing else to say. And what could he say, that was all that mattered now.

A large board fell down onto the ring around him, putting out a part of the ring, freeing him. He immediately went over to where Satine had been and found a charred chair. No Satine. The ends of her bindings on the floor around the chair. Had she awoken while he was away? Suddenly he was full of hope and bolted towards a dim light in an opening in the wall.

Once he was out of the small structure inside a large warehouse, it fell to ruins behind him. He'd gotten out just in time.

He stood up and looked around. A good length away he saw something splayed out on the cement floor. He ran over to it and his heart sank to the bottom of the abyss that been a calm ocean of love for her. Her lifeless body was laid on the floor. Her clothes had burned away in large portions off her body. Her skin was clouded with ash and soot. The tips of fingers were chard as well as bits of her hair. Her mouth was hung slightly open, but her chest didn't rise and fall with breaths.

He knelled down beside her and put his forehead to her hand, wishing for her to feel him and wake up again. He wanted to feel her touch again. He was touching her now, but this wasn't the same. There was no life in her touch. She wasn't there anymore.

He stayed close to her, not daring to lift his face from her hand in fear that he'd have to see what was left of her again.

"Castiel," it was the voice again. The one who'd freed him. "Castiel, back up." He looked up but didn't obey. "Now!" He slowly moved and looked away.

A gasping beside him pulled him back into the moment. He turned back and looked down. His eyes searched around before he grabbed the woman and pulled her to his chest, pushing hair from her discolored face. He kept her close, resting his head on hers.

"How?" he asked as Satine's faint breathing echoed in his ear.

"She wasn't dead, Castiel." How? She had been. She wasn't breathing, not that he could see. The large pieces of wood that fell on her would have surly killed her. How was she alive? "She was just knocked out. How could you have missed that one?"

"But she wasn't breathing."

"She was suffocating. Just needed clean air." A blanket was spread over Satine, covering up what her clothes no longer could. The angel looked over her body. The burnt parts of her fingers and arms had been healed. He held her close to him again and kissed the top of her head. "Was it her?"

"Yes, she feels that Satine will take the same path Elizabeth." Castiel answered.

A scoff. "That lying bitch. She knows for damn sure that won't happen again. Not with her." a pointed finger held towards Satine. "Satine is very different from Elizabeth."

"I know."

"Come on, Castiel."

The sound of a T.V. In the room awoke me. I opened my glued shut eyes and took a quick, blurry survey of the room, but my eyes burned too much to keep them open. I closed them and kept them closed. My throat burned so I coughed in hope of clearing it and maybe my voice would come to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. The fire had taken its toll, but I was out, somehow. I was alive.

I felt around with my fingers and I made out that I was on a couch. A blanket was spread over me. I had seen a light of a television in the background and the dim light of a lamp somewhere. This place was, as far as I could tell, safe.

I was awake but there was no point in me getting up. I couldn't see anything or speak. I coughed again then felt someone lift up my head as the rim of a cup came to my lips. I drank the cool water that soothed my throat.

When my head was put back down, I opened my eyes again and got a brief look at the person standing beside me. "Castiel?" I whispered in a hoarse voice. The blurry person beside me shook their head. Not Castiel, someone shorter. I had to close my eyes again, they burned at the touch of air. Whoever it was took my hand and rubbed the top with their thumb. It was a man by the feel of his hand.

I took my other hand and reached up to touch their face, my only clue to the identity of the silent man. Just as I was about to touch his face, I felt something pushed into my other hand. I rolled it over on my fingertips. A feather. Still, I pressed on with a good idea of who it was and touched his cheek.

"Gabriel?" I whispered.

"Hello, Satine." he said in a quiet, calm voice. It was Gabriel. I was sure.

"How are you-? Where am-? Castiel?" I went through quickly, my voice cracking at each word.

"Shh." he hushed me. "Castiel is outside. You're safe." His hand pushed hair out of my face. "Everyone is safe." he whispered.

I sighed and smiled. I felt safe now. Even though Gabriel had a lot of explaining to do, I was happy. Castiel was nearby, Gabriel was here with me, and he'd said everyone was safe, including Sam and Dean. They were alright. We were alright.

Gabriel was pulling away, about to leave when I gripped his hand tighter. "Don't go." I breathed. I was useless in any fight and keeping him nearby was the only way I felt assured that nothing could happen.

"Alright." he simply said and sat on the floor beside the couch, facing the T.V.

I reached over and touched his hair. "You were dead?" the awful voice inside me said.

"Keep talking and you'll make it worse." he warned. "I'll explain everything later. Go back to sleep."

"Bossy." I smiled then put my hand back at my side. My other hand still held his, resting on top of the blanket. It was the only way I was sure that he was still here. The only way I was sure he'd stay.

The angel jerked away at the sound of an opening door.

"Who was it?" Dean asked Castiel as he walked in the lodge.

"We didn't get to see." Castiel lied. Dean turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I followed Satine then was trapped. Satine was brought back in later, gaged and bound."

"But she's alright now?" Dean asked with worry.

Castiel breathed heavily before answering, "We healed her, but we can only do so much." Castiel was about to lead them into the living room when he stopped and turned to them. "Wait here." Castiel continued into the living room where he found Gabriel sitting on the floor and his hand being held by a sleeping Satine. "Anything?"

"She was up for a few, but I told her to go back to sleep."

"Are you staying?"

"I'll keep close by." he said, standing up.

"Sam, Dean, you can come in." Castiel called.

"Cas," he turned to Gabriel who was holding up Satine's hand, telling him to hold it. Castiel moved close to Satine and took her hand, looking it over as the boys came in.

Dean and Sam moved close to the couch around Castiel and looked down at the woman. "Should we wake her?" Sam asked.

"No, let her sleep." Dean said.

Hours past and night came along. The brothers went to bed and the angels joined in the living room again.

"Gabriel, thank you." Gabriel nodded at Castiel then sat in a chair close to Satine. The angels stayed close to her all night, each taking turns watching over the lodge. Anytime she stirred, Castiel was at her side, her hand in his. Gabriel would sit in a chair beside the couch and watch television. Any movement or sound she made, he'd turn to her and wait until she was back into a deep sleep.

It was dark in the room. Satine had been asleep for an hour or so in the twin bed covered in quilts that he'd moved her to. He stood close to the bed like he'd done countless times. Unlike the past times, he bent over and put his lips on the woman's then put his nose to hers. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks. Hot painful tears of guilt and anger.

How dare they, he thought to himself. How dare she pull something like this. They knew she was nothing like Elizabeth and that she'd never follow in her footsteps. They we just going to put her to waist in fear of her power, that wasn't a true threat to them. This was nothing more than a display of their power and he knew it.

The lump of guilt could not be soothed. He should have stayed closer to her. If he had, this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have almost been killed. Ended.

He kissed her forehead before standing up, silently vowing to himself that they'd pay for this. That nothing would ever happen to her again. He'd kill before letting anyone touch her again.

He stayed as close to her as he could get, going over the same thoughts in his head. They'd never touch her again. Not his Satine. Not the woman he'd loved more than anything.

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

"Shh," I was hushed as I slowly opened my eyes. The dark blurry room around me was familiar and warm. The feel of the bed was comforting as well as the musty cabin smell that I'd grown used to. "Shh," continued the voice. I looked over to a chair that had been pulled beside the bed and I could make out a body in it. My vision was still not clear but it was better.

"Castiel?"

"I'm here, Satine." He leaned forward and put his hand over mine. "I'm here." he whispered with his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes when he got close and rested my trust in his touch.

"You're safe." I mumbled.

"So are you." I could hear the smile in his soft voice. I feel back to sleep at his touch.


	14. Chapter 14

14

"Why? Why did they come after me? Castiel?" I asked the angels later, but they didn't look like they wanted to answer. "Please, someone speak!"

"It's the angels, alright?" Gabriel finally said. "They're coming after you and anyone who is with you."

"I did not do what I was asked." Cas answered too.

"What where you asked to do?" He only eyed me and that gave me an answer. I could put it together after what Gabriel had said.

I laid down for the night, alone and waited for them to settle in. I didn't know where the boys were but I knew I had to get out of here.

I ran down the alleyway, tears stung my eyes as I cried softly to myself before I tripped and cut my arm. I knew this was best after all, but it hurt so much to leave them like this. I had no other choice or I'd be putting them all in danger. I couldn't do that to the people who'd saved my life.

I stopped when I heard something shuffling ahead of me and looked up and rubbed my eyes. Someone was in the alley with me but something was wrong. Whoever it was was bent over breathing heavily. I neared slowly, keeping a safe distance when I asked, "Hey, are you alright?" The man stood up and I could see a deep cut running across his shoulder onto his chest. "You need help. I'll call for an ambulance."

"No," he called out sounding frightened. "No, don't call anyone." He was so sure in his tone.

"You need medical attention."

"I'll be fine." He assured me with a pained smile.

"Come with me then," I took his hand and led him to the room I'd booked that morning where all my things still sat. "Sit and I'll take care of it." He sat as told in the dim lighting of the old, dusty room as I dug through my heavily packed bag. I found the sewing kit and a bottle of peroxide then knelt down in front of him. "I hate to say it so soon, but can you remove your shirt?" He did as asked and I got full view of the wound. It was angry and deep, like it was from a blade. I stitched him up quickly and cleaned it out. He didn't complain the whole time and didn't wince when I put the peroxide on.

"There, I think that'll do." I stood up, blood on my hands.

"What a strange creature you are." He said out of the blue.

"Why, what are you?" I asked looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Smart, too." He said almost surprised.

"You're not human, well not completely."

"You're a hunter."

"Yeah,"

"But you helped me," He seemed perplexed.

"Figured you needed it." His eyes moved from mine down to my arm where the gash still rested. He reached down to touch it when I recoiled.

"What are you doing?" I almost snapped.

"Returning the favor." I let him put his fingers over the gash gently and when he pulled back it was gone.

I looked up at him quickly then backed away, "You're an angel. No, you shouldn't be here."

"Satine, stop."

"How do you know my name?"

"You don't know who I am."

"Should I?" I wanted to turn and run.

"You've met my brother."

"You're all brothers, you're gonna need to narrow it down." I looked out the window.

"Gabriel," I turned to him quickly.

"Is he alright?" After everything I was afraid for him, for might happen to him.

"He is fine." He answered almost as though he was spitting the words out.

"Then that is all I need to know of him." He looked at me surprised.

"After everything, you'd just leave him? Like nothing?"

"It isn't safe for him, or you for that matter."

"Why me?"

"Don't you know what I am? You know who I am. Being around me for too long will get you killed if you are what you say."

He rubbed the short scruff on his chin and smiled in an odd sort of way at me. He clearly wasn't going to leave.

"Well if you're not going to get yourself away from me, I'll do it." I grabbed my bag and went for the door but with a quick swipe of his hand it locked.

"No need for all that fuss." He stood and towered over me. Who was he?

"I need to leave."

He cupped the side of my face and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. "You are exactly what they say."

"What do they say?" I leaned into his hand slightly if by instinct.

"A creature of compassion, a rare form of courage."

"Why did you let me clean your wound if you could heal it yourself?"

"Because, you'd have done it anyway, knowing what I am or not." He almost whispered. There was something intimate between us like it was meant to be there or that it had been that way from the start.

"What is your name?" I needed to know why there was a connection between us, one not very different from that of which I knew was between Gabriel and I.

"What are names for things like you and I?" he was implying that somehow, in some way, we were alike.

"Please," I tried again. He was close when he sucked in a quiet breath and answer.

"I have many names, some you're people favor."

"No," I dropped my bag beneath me and almost fell back into the door, but I was stopped with a hand on my arm. I looked down slowly, my head starting to spin. "Why are you here?" I didn't look up at him now. "What do you want from me?"

"You brought me here." I wasn't sure if telling him to leave was a smart move but I wasn't sure what I could do with humans' biggest fear standing before me, holding me up. I pulled away and sat on the bed, holding my arms close to me.

"Are you stalling to bring her back? Waiting for the perfect moment to let her back in?" That made me afraid, more than the fact that the devil himself was here. Her being in control again was worse. "I know she has a bone to pick with the angels."

He frightened me when he was suddenly standing right in front of me. "Is that what you want me to do?" I shook my head. "Then I won't." I looked up slowly as I processed his words. What did he want then? He knelt down in front of me with a confused look on his face. "What do you think you are?"

"Her vessel. The only one she can thrive in."

"Is that what my brothers have told you?" I nodded.

"What else could I be?"

"Oh, the power that you hold inside of you." His hand was on my face again, but this time making me look at him. "If only you knew."

"Then, tell me." He shook his head.

"I cannot. That is for him to tell."

"I can't go back to him. There are too many people out there looking for me. He said the angels were out there too." I looked at him carefully. "I doubt you're one of them."

"What makes you say that?"

"I figured you'd have done it by now." He said nothing. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see what all the commotion was about. I can hear everything that goes on around here, and you're the talk lately."

"Now you've seen, then what?"

"So many questions."

"Then I'm guessing, like your brother, you're not going to answer." He almost looked offended that I had compared him to Gabriel.

"No, I'm here to make you they don't get a hold of you." His words snaked around me.

"Why, am I of some use to you?" I was sick of being used by everyone. "I'm not just a walking shell waiting for someone to fill me up, to give me direction!" I shouted and stood up, pressing my space into his. "If that's all you want, get away from me." I snarled then realized who I was snarling at. He smirked and started to clap.

"Well done." He said as if I had just passed a test.

"What?"

"Do you have any idea what you just did?" I started to feel sick with fear. Was he angry with my actions? "You just asserted yourself to me." He made a motion to move forwards and I closed my eyes and braced myself but when I expected pain I felt something else. Something warm spread around my shoulders. I opened my eyes to find my lips struck with his, while his hands griped my shoulder tightly. I pulled back quickly and growled.

"What was that?!" He reached forward and stroked my cheek just as I pulled away but I turned to see that we were no longer in the motel room but instead a dark field. The night was heavy and the mist covered the grass below me. Ahead I saw a larger open field. He gently directed me towards the field but I pulled away and started to run, heading directly into the trees.

"You can't escape me. I know you feel it too." His words called after me and that stopped me in my tracks. He felt whatever I did. I turned back and slowly came into view from the trees.

"You feel it?" I skulked in the shadows while he stood in the moonlight.

"Every bit that you do." He held out a hand towards me. I stood still before deciding to oblige him. I grasped his hand slowly. "I won't ever hurt you." He said softly and pulled me close to him.

"What do you want?"

"I already told you," He meant it? "I'm here to make sure that they never get their hands on you."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Never mind, why." he mumbled and held me to his chest, his lips brushed the top of my head. I wanted to pinch myself to see if this was real. Was I really standing here with the fallen angel Lucifer, who not only wanted to protect me from the angels that wanted me dead, but also had some deep connection to me that he might act on.

He made me look up at him and said, "No matter what they tell you, don't ever believe you're like her. You're not." He directed.

"I don't understand." I said.

"If you're ever in danger call for me."

"How?" He answered with his lips on mine but this time I returned the kiss slightly. I could feel something new inside me. He had shown me something with this kiss, something I would use in dire time of need.

"Get off of her!" a familiar voice howled in the darkness. I opened my eyes and turned quickly to see Gabriel in the field with us.

"You shouldn't be here." I said to him.

"Lucifer, let her go." He commanded and his brother listened, surprisingly. He took his arms from around me and let me run to Gabriel. He pushed me behind him as if Lucifer was going to attack. "Don't ever touch her again." He snarled.

"She's as much a part of me, brother, as she is you." And with that he was gone.

Gabriel turned to me and looked me over. "Are you hurt?" he asked, a pained look in his eyes.

"No,"

"Why did you run?" he had his hands on the sides of my face, looking me in the eyes.

"I couldn't see you or Cas get hurt. Not for me."

He sighed, "Don't worry about us. We're here to protect you, no matter what."

"Apparently, so is your brother." He breathed heavily through his nose with an angry look.

"How the hell did you get mixed up with him in so little time?"

"He found me, I think." That made me remember what he'd said, that Gabriel hadn't told me how I was, not really.

"Stay away from him." He kissed my forehead. I opened my eyes and found us back at the lodge.

"No, I don't want to be here!" I shouted.

"This the only place that we can make sure you're safe!" he fought.

"Then don't, don't make sure I'm safe. I can take care of myself."

"Not from them."

"Them, you've never even said what it is they want from me. Why I can't be out there alone. Or why me." He looked sick and sighed.

"Satine. It's time I told you."

"Told me what?"

"Everything," I looked at him. "This whole thing started a long time ago, years before you were born. Your mother, Elizabeth, was one of us."

"What do you mean? She was…"

"An angel, yes. A very low ranking angel but an angel none the less."

"That makes me-…"

"Shh, I'm getting to that part. Your mother fell in love with your father, now he was human and that pissed off a whole bunch of them. She fell from heaven and lost most of her grace. They got married and you were born. She'd hoped that after everything, especially with you in the picture, everything was be alright, but it wasn't. There was a group of higher ranking angels that found out about her and needed to end it. You see, not only did she have some grace left, but she was also using it to aid demons. He was making them more powerful to get back at heaven. When you can around she vowed to stop it and she did, but the angels didn't care. Her grace was too powerful and she needed to be eliminated. They didn't know until the accident that her grace was gone."

"Wait, they set up the accident?" He looked at me and finally nodded.

"They needed to get her alone and away from your father but he ended up being a side causality. You would have been too if it wasn't for your mother. In her last few months she was able to slip the rest of her grace in you. That's how you survived. She knew they were closing in on her and she did everything in her power to keep you safe."

Tears bubbled in my eyes. She sacrificed her power to save me, to make sure I'd live. "How do you know all this? Cas didn't."

"I was part of her plan. You wouldn't remember because you were so young, but I was there."

"I remember you in the crowd."

"That it?"

"Yeah,"

"I watched it happen, the whole wreck. I was the first one down there in the snow. I pulled you out and made sure you were with your uncle."

"It was you? This whole time you'd been the one who saved me. I can remember the accident. I have dreams, but I can never hear your voice or see your face. Why did you save me?"

"Your mother asked me to protect you before she died. To hide you while you grew up. We were friends and I had to help her."

"So you've been watching me all these years, and never came to tell me any of this. You couldn't bother to tell me that I was half angel. Why have you never showed yourself to me?"

"You made it alone for 20 years before Nora. They didn't know who you were until she showed up. You were safe."

"If I have grace, does that mean I can't die?"

"No, but you are stronger with it, and traceable. That's why I need you to stay here." He ordered.

"Why do you keep protecting me? After all these years you kept your word and I grew up. But why still?"

He was hesitant to answer. "I have to."

"Why?"

"Because, after all these years… because I watched you suffer… because I fell in love with you." He finally answered. "I'm connected to you and no matter how far I run I still feel you. That's how you were possessed. I turned my back on you and she got you. But not again. I won't ever leave you to the angels, the demons, to the god damned hounds of hell." I took his shaking hand and held it.

"What is this connection?" I changed the subject, catching Gabriel off guard.

"It's a connection. I don't know. Just something that makes me—"

"You belong with me?"

"Yes," he sighed happily, know that he wouldn't have to describe the whole thing himself.

"Then I belong with you." I leaned forward and put my lips on his. He didn't pull back like I half expected but he didn't lean into it either. "What is it?" I pulled back. He wasn't looking at me and it looked like he wasn't going to. "Gabriel?" I cup his face and made him see me.

"You're not mine alone." He pulled away from me.

"I know that. I can feel it. But I want to be with you." He turned back to me, with surprise in his face. I had chosen him because I knew somehow that he loved me more deeply than anyone ever had. And he was something familiar, something I could hold on to. "Somehow I know you. I've always felt you, deep down."

At this understanding he reached for me and pulled me to him. He kissed me quickly then held me hard against him, as he rested his cheek on my head. My arms wrapped around him and I dug my fingertips into his shoulder blades. At this he seemed to purr and squirm. I think I'd hit his spot because he then pulled me back and his lips collided with mine. I messaged his shoulder blades and he continued to squirm and purr.

"Gabriel, I feel it to Lucifer."

"You would," he sighed. "We are from a closer parentage than most angels. Yes we're all from dad up stairs, but we were made with something the same."

"Wait, if you're all related, then my mother was your sister. That makes me…" I paused. "I'm your niece." I felt grossed out.

"Yes, in your human, technical terms. But with angels it's different. We were made so far from each other it's like we aren't related at all." That made me feel a little better.

"You told me that I was Nora's vessel. The only one that can hold her for any length of time, was that true?"

"Yes, you're part angel, making your body stronger, more durable. She is a powerful demon and you're a powerful human. You were a fit for her." I felt less afraid than I had in a long time.

I looked at him and he suddenly pulled away and started to cringe.

"Gabe, what's wrong?" I asked, scared suddenly. He didn't answer. He was clearly distracted like he was hearing something I couldn't. "Gabe, you're scaring me." I admitted.

He stopped and looked at me quickly. Pain was in his eyes. "Satine, we have to get you out of here."

"But you said I'd be safe with you."

He cupped my face I swear I saw tears building up. "Satine, I'm not safe anymore. They can find me and they know I have you." He kissed my forehead.

"No, please." I grabbed his arm as he stood. "Don't leave me alone."

"Satine, I promised I'd protect you. That's what I'm going to do." He pulled me to him and kissed me deeply before I heard something that sounded like a snap.

She was gone and he was left in the motel room alone. He wanted to sob then and there for her. She was in so much trouble and it was all his fault. If only he'd never turned his back on her, she'd still be safe and undetected. But now both angels and demons were closer than ever.


	15. Chapter 15

15

I woke up in a car in the driver's seat. I was stiff from sitting up and my eyes were crusted over with sleep. When I could see properly I noticed this was my uncle's car and on the steering wheel was a note with a golden feather tangled with it. I opened it up to read, "Satine, I need you to run for me and from me. This all my fault; that you were found, that your uncle and brother are dead. All of it. It was too hard for me to make that clear face to face and I can't even begin to apologize but for now I need you to run. In the glove-box there is enough money to get you food and a credit card for you to book a room. Drive as far as you can for as long as you can. I will do everything I can to keep you safe, that I swear."

My eyes teared up heavily from reading his note. I didn't put it together before but it was his fault that my family was dead, just as much as it was my own. And I knew whatever he was afraid of was big enough to take me out.

I slammed my hands on the wheel, I was pissed, beyond angry. I wished he'd never shown himself to me. He told me he loved me but he'd let me destroy what was left of my family. And knowing that I'd draw out Nora, he turned his back on me. I was almost dead because of him and even the Winchesters at risk, all because he needed to leave me. That wasn't fair, not to me, Castiel, the brothers, anyone.

I wiped my eyes and put the car in gear and headed off like he'd said, going as fast as I could to get away. It was in the middle of the night I kept going in fear of what was out there. Demons, angels, they were all trouble.

I went through the night heading northwest and only stopped for gas. I couldn't eat I was so upset. Once I made it to Georgia I finally stopped to rest. I'd been on the road for a day and half without stopping to rest and I just couldn't do it anymore, but I was so afraid to stop. I pulled into a gas station just outside of a town to fill the tank. I almost started to pass out standing up at the pump, but the sound of footsteps drew me back and hurried me along.

I had just paid when I turned around and bumped into a tall man in a black hood.

"Excuse me," I muttered and tried to get around him.

"Satine, you need to stop."

"Who are you?" I turned and barked. "What do you want?"

His face was impassive while he eyed me. "You cannot keep going like this. You will get yourself killed."

"What are you?" I growled as he came closer. I had nothing to fight with and he wasn't answering me. When he got too close I jumped into the car and sped away, leaving tire tracks behind.

I was breathing heavily but my eyes were getting heavy quickly. Soon I could feel myself slipping away as the road started to get fuzzy and the passing headlights became nothing more than stars.

It was dark when I opened my eyes again did I feel somewhat rested. I looked ahead and saw a white ceiling with few dust-webs hanging in the corners of the room. I sat up quickly remembering I had been in my car when I saw the man again. He was sitting on another bed beside the one I was on. It was still dark out but I could tell in the soft moonlight that I was in a motel with this stranger starring at the window without his hood on. I cursed Gabriel silently at the fact that he gave me nothing to fight with. I was screwed.

"Who are you?" I sat up and demanded. The man turned quickly and looked at me in the darkness.

"You should sleep. You have much further to travel yet." That was not the answer I wanted so I got up and headed for the door, but as I reached for the knob something stood in my way.

"What do you want?" I growled, looking at him through the corner of my eye, backing up only slightly. I was sick of being afraid. This man should be afraid of me, I told myself. Being around me will only get him killed.

"How did I get here?" I tried something else.

"You were about to drive off the road when I found you."

"How did you find me and what are you?" I demanded again with a growl.

"Stop," he put his hand up to me as if to shake off my aggression. "I am here to help you. My name is Gadreel. I'm an angel."

"Nope," I tried for the door again and this time was able to get to the car.

"Wait,"

"No, no more angels!"

"I was sent to keep you safe." He tired behind me.

"You can't." I shot behind me as I felt my pockets for my keys, but I couldn't find them anywhere. Then I could hear a jingle behind me. I turned and could see the outline of my keys in his front pocket. "Give me my keys." I ordered.

"Gabriel seems to think I can." He said, not even giving a thought as to handing over the keys.

"Really, Gabriel? He's the asshole who got me into this whole mess. Listen, you're just going to get yourself killed trying to protect me."

"He sent me because he knew they'd never think to look at me." I looked at him carefully. He didn't look like one of the bad guys but that was hard to tell now. "I will protect you." He promised. I could see it in his eye, unless he was just a great liar. I didn't want to trust him but after being thrown out here alone, he was my best bet, angel or not. I slowly started to walk back to the room and he followed me inside.

"He told me to give you this." In his hand was a sharp metal blade.

"What is it?"

"It is an angel blade, used to kill both angel and demon. He said you'd trust me better if you had a weapon." He was right. Having this would keep me quieter around Gadreel, whoever he was. "And this," he handed me a black bag. I opened it quickly to find some of my clothes and my black box. I took out the box and sat on the bed, staring at it.

For a while I was content just hold the box and the blade, but the angel's voice pulled me back. "Rest," he said. He was right. I needed it.

I woke up in the lodge in my bed, warm. I got up and saw it was still dark out. I went towards the kitchen when I noticed bloody handprints on the walls. Fearful I went back to my room for the blade Gadreel had given me. It was sitting pretty on the dresser. I grabbed it and carefully ventured further into the lodge. I dropped the blade the moment I made it to the living room where Sam and Dean laid on the floor, blood pooling from open wounds on their chests. I backed up and hit something. On the kitchen floor behind me laid a bloody Castiel. I covered my gaping mouth to silence a scream when I noticed two more bodies in front of the door. Gadreel and Gabriel were beside each other, both with the same wound as the brothers and the angel.

Now I began to cry and scream. Then I saw the blood on the blade in my hands. I'd done this. I killed them all. All they did was protect me and I'd killed them. My chest heaved and burned heavily. Inside I could feel something laughing and smiling. It was Nora. Their screams had been music to her.

I sat up fast in the bed, sobbing.

"What's wrong?" a voice asked in the darkness. I turned to see Gadreel on the bed still. It was a dream but it was true. I was going to bring their deaths.

I cleared my throat before saying, "I think there's something outside. I can feel it." He got right up and went outside. Through the dark window I saw him wander past. This was it. I had to get it over and done with. I couldn't allow what I saw to happen and this was the only way.

I went to the bathroom and locked the door before leaning over the sink, blade in hand. This has to end. I took the blade and sliced it over my wrist and blood began to fall. It dripped down my arm onto the sink and floor. I felt cold quickly and fell to the floor.

No one was outside, she must have been dreaming. Gadreel went back to the room to find Satine in the bathroom with the door locked. It didn't seem odd for a few minutes but when no sound came out he began to get suspicious and he popped in. On the floor in a puddle of red laid the broken girl. He shook slightly as he rubbed her shoulder. She didn't respond so he took her wrists in his hands and healed them. But was it too late?

He carried her back to the bed and laid her down. He was unnerved but she was breathing. She'd live, he knew it. But on his watch he'd already managed to let her slip away and if he'd been a second later, she may not have come back.

I opened my eyes to sunlight in the dank motel room. I sat up and looked at my wrists, healed. "No," I huffed and looked over to see the angel. "No, you need to leave!"

He turned at looked at me, hurt. "I saved your life."

"I didn't want you to. Why does no one understand?!" I cried. "I need this to end." I looked at him. Pain welled in my eyes.

"I was told to protect you, and I will, even if it is from yourself." I sat silent then and stared at the floor. He wasn't going to leave me again. I didn't have to privilege to be alone anymore. "Come on," he stood and opened the door. "We have far to go."

I followed him out to the car where I got in and sat silent for a good while. Yeah I was pouting but I was broken, again.

When we got to the next motel I stayed quiet. I raided the mini fridge before going to sleep. I don't know if he knew I was angry with him or not, but he thankfully didn't try to start any conversations. I showered and went to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night after another sleep without dreams. It was odd. Two nights without a word from Gabriel. This was unsettling, he always tried to contact me in some way, or leave a message at least. Mad at him or not, he should have reached out in some way.

Gadreel shifted in a chair by the window of the room. I looked at him and that's when it occurred to me that I hadn't heard from Gabriel since he came into the picture. Maybe he wasn't who he said. Maybe he had an agenda of his own.

Thinking this and knowing he had no idea I was awake gave me the perfect opportunity to find out. I grabbed the blade from the on the bed beside me and padded over to him. He made no sounds or movements to acknowledge me. I tightened my grip on the blade and took him by surprise, pushing him to the floor with the blade at this throat.

"Satine, what are you doing?" No fear was in his eyes but confusion.

"Who are you? And why are you really here? I know something is wrong. Gabriel hasn't contacted me since I met you." I dug my fingertips deeper into his shoulder with each word. He just reached up a hand as if trying to calm me down. "Answer me!" I grinded my teeth. But he overpowered me in an instant, knocking the blade from my hand and taking it in his own. He was hovering over me while pressing me down. The blade was in his hand but not at my throat.

"I mean you no harm, nor will I ever." He looked me in the eye and dropped the blade completely. "I am here to protect you." He stood and offered me a hand up. I pushed it away and got up myself. "I know who you are so I understand why you don't trust me. After everything you've been through, I wouldn't either."

"Then why do you keep trying?" I almost spit, heading back to the bed.

"Because you need me to."

"I don't need you or any other angel!" I swore. "You'd just end up getting killed too." I whispered. I remembered the dream where I killed them all and a tear ran down my face.

"So be it." He said. I turned towards him. In the soft moonlight I could see his honest face. He meant it.

"You never answered my question," He stood beside the bed. "Who are you, really? Every angel has their story, what's yours?"

He looked off into the darkness before answering in a low voice. "I was created long before humans, before most of my brothers and sisters. Father gave me the duty of protecting his dearest creation, to protect the Garden, Eden as you know it. As well as humanity." He trailed off there.

"And?" He looked at me then back to the shadows.

"And the serpent came to me. He told me lies of his harmlessness. He was my brother and I trusted him."

"Lucifer,"

"Yes, he came in and with him came the evils. It was because of me that humans were spoiled, impure. Because of me demons roamed the earth, picking off father's most precious beings. I was then locked in the prisons of heaven for hundreds of thousands of years."

"Because of you demons were created?" He didn't answer.

"I should have never gotten out of that cell, but I'm trying to make up for what I've done. Protecting you is the least I could do."

Something outside drew his attention.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Stay here." He warned. His voice was strict. I could smell it, demon. "Do not come outside. No matter what, stay in this room."

I stayed in place on the bed and listened. Whatever he was fighting was strong. I could hear the yells and grunts. But then I saw more shadows. Others were out there. I shook on the bed but soon enough I couldn't sit anymore.

I then heard Gadreel's scream and saw a bright light through the window. I grabbed the blade and went outside. He was on the ground, bloodied but there was still two more at him. I came up behind one and took it out with one strike from the blade. The second took a few more swings but was killed in time.

When they were both down I ran to Gadreel on the floor, bloodied, and his counter dead on the ground. He was coughing and bleeding from his mouth.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked quickly, trying to get a good idea of how badly he was hurt. But instead of an answer he reached up and grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull himself up. "Gadreel, heal yourself."

"I can't," he gargled through blood and spit. He was mouthing something else but he couldn't get it out.

"Are we safe?" I asked, the most important question. He shook his head. Great. I gathered up my strength and did my best to get him to his feet, but he was wounded very badly. He could barely walk, but I was able to get him into the room where I quickly drew the sigils on the door and salted the floors. When that was done I turned back to the broken angel.

"Why can't you heal?" He was breathing too heavily to answer. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly then pulled me down to him.

"Get out of here," he begged and I sighed before sitting down beside him. He was clearly in a lot of pain, but what could I do? I wasn't going to leave him but I didn't even know what was wrong with him. I tried the only thing I could think of and I did like I'd seen. I put my hands on the open wound on his neck that was bleeding the most. I took a breath in and closed my eyes before giving it all I had.

When I opened my eyes again the wound was closed, bloodied but closed. He was also breathing normal again. But I was tired, like I was about to faint. He sat up beside me as I started to lose sight of the room. I fell backwards but he was able to grab me.

"Hold on," he said and picked me up and brought me to the bed.

"We're even." I said as my eyes closed.

She was asleep in seconds, but he couldn't have been more grateful to her. He was safe and healed and human. He'd have to explain that to her when she woke, but for now she needed rest. After a use of power like that, she'd be devastatingly tired.

"Thank you," he said softly and brushed hair out of her face.

I woke up sometime during the night to noise. I opened my eyes to see Gadreel fighting a blanket. "What are you doing?" I asked quietly.

"I'm sorry to wake you." He said softly. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Sleep? Why? And why couldn't you heal yourself?"

"I lost my grace in the fight." He breathed. That made everything make sense. I got up and sat on the couch beside him.

"You lost your grace, for me?" He nodded slowly.

"I'd die for you." He said like it was nothing.

"No, I don't ever want you to say that. Don't you ever get yourself killed for me. I'm not worth that."

"How don't you see it?" he looked at me, so confused.

"See what? Does everyone see something I don't? I'm no one special, just some loser whose mother was at some point an angel and was possessed. What is so great about me?" He looked almost hurt that I couldn't see it too.

"I can't make you see what you are blind to." He turned away. I grabbed his hands and he looked down at them quickly.

"Thank you, Gadreel. Thank you for pulling me out of that car, and for healing my wrists, and for giving up your grace for me. Thank you." I yawned.

"Don't thank me." He responded shamefully. He felt so guilty, even after all these years.

"Do you want help falling asleep?" He nodded at that and I smiled. "Then for starters let's get

that jacket and shirt off. It's warm in here already." He did as I said and stripped off his heavy layers. I could clearly see his perfect chest and it made me falter my thoughts, but I shook out of it soon enough.

I grabbed him a pillow and put it at one end and told him to lay down. "The weight of the blanket should help as well." I said sitting on the floor in front of him.

"As well as what?" he asked.

"As being around someone else. I'll stay awake for a while, keep my eye on things."

"You need rest,"

"I'll be fine. You close your eyes and clear your mind. Everything will be fine." I promised. If he was willing to give up his grace for me, I'd be sure to protect him. He still eyed me, with his sad green eyes. "I'll watch over you." I said and he finally laid back and got comfortable. But as soon as I faced the door, leaned up against the couch I was starting to fade again.

Rest, how could he? He wanted to stay up and protect her, not the other way around. She showed so much trust in him and wanted to protect him. He'd never felt that kind of compassion before and that made his heart beat heavily as he smiled to himself in the darkness. Even after what he told her, she still stayed with him.


	16. Chapter 16

16

When I woke up I found the angel wandering around the room, aimlessly.

"Gadreel," I muttered rubbing my eyes. He stopped and looked at me. I sat up seeing that I was back in the bed. When I could see clearly I noticed he dark rings around his eyes. "Didn't you sleep?" He didn't respond, just looked at me. "You are such and angel." I sighed and got up. I grabbed my stuff and changed before loading up the car.

For a good hour of driving there was silence in the car, but after last night, I couldn't take the silence.

"Gadreel," He turned to me from the window. "How do you feel?" He didn't look alright. In the morning light I could see how sickly he looked. His vessel was a tall man with a slightly muscular build, but over the last twelve hours something about him changed. He said he'd lost his grace, but something else was wrong.

"Different," he answered.

"Are you human now?"

"Yes," he sighed. The moment he said that I pulled the car into a gas station right by the road. I did it so quickly that it startled him. "Satine, what are we doing here? We have to keep going."

"Stay here, I'll be right back." I told him then got out of the car and into the shop where I grabbed a few drinks and something that would hold us both over until we were in New York. Some peanuts would be good for him. The protein would last him awhile longer.

Back in the car he just looked out the window at the drizzling rain. "It is related to the feeling of sadness but it is beautiful." He said as I got in.

"What?"

"The rain. It falls in the drops of thousands and pools together."

"Yeah, it's water. Speaking of which," I reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle. "Drink this. If you're one of us, you need to take care of yourself like one of us." He took the bottle and opened it before looking at for a few seconds. Then he put it to his chapped lips and took a large drink. Water spilled out between his lips and ran down his chin.

"Eat these. I know it's not much but they'll have to hold you over until we get into New York." I handed him the peanuts and showed him how to open the bag. He took a few and examined them before popping them into his mouth. "You should feel better after getting a good night's rest and a real meal in your stomach."

"They have a drying factor." He said.

"That's the salt. It is my favorite flavor of food but make sure you drink water when eating salt. I'm not taking care of you if you get dehydrated." Out of fear he reached for the water and chugged the rest of it. "Okay, it's not that bad." I smiled at him then pulled back onto the road.

He was chatty today, asking all sorts of questions about being human. I was able to answer all of them. Some things seemed to frighten him, like sickness, and car accidents. Death wasn't news to him as angels died too. But the biggest thing was sleep. He couldn't wrap his head around why we needed it or how it was achieved.

"You just need to clear your mind. That's the biggest thing about sleep. If you keep thinking you just stay awake."

"How do you not think? There is always something crossing my mind now, weather, hunger, sleep." I giggled to myself at him. "What is funny?" he scowled. "You said I could die without sleep and I still don't understand how to do it." He was very serious but I kept laughing.

"You've got eleven days before we have to worry about that. Chill out."

"I am chilled. It is cold here." I laughed again. He was so serious about everything. "You laugh at what I say."

"You're funny. I've been around angels for a while but you take the cake. Maybe is because your human that you are so clueless but it is hilarious. Don't worry about the sleep. I was able to get Castiel to sleep at one point and he was 100% angel."

"Castiel?"

"Yeah, we were together for a little while, but he had a hard time sleeping too. You'll be fine." He relaxed a little at that then suddenly he tensed and something that sounded like rubbing leather came from him. At that I laughed so hard I snorted.

"What was that?" he looked concerned.

Once I wiped away a laughing tear away I said, "You just passed gas, that is normal but if you don't mind, save that for when you're alone or in the bathroom. That's common curtsey." He cheeks reddened and he faced the window. "Don't worry, stay with me and I'll teach you."

"You want me around even though I'm human now? I can't protect you anymore."

"I told you, I don't need protection. And you lost your grace because of me. I owe you."

"No, I owe you my everything. After what I did, I owe all of humanity everything."

"Okay, the guilt thing has to stop."

"Why are you not angry?"

"It was a long time ago, for one. And secondly, what would life be like without the challenge of evil. I'd die of boredom."

"You don't mind it? Fear?"

"No it's normal to fear. Maybe not everyone should be in my possession but most aren't. You angels love your guilt."

"I have no love for what I've done wrong." He was serious and angry.

"And you shouldn't, but it's time to move on. You said you were locked away for what, thousands of years? I think you did your time. You're just punishing yourself now. You gotta forgive yourself." I could feel his eye on me and I turned for only a moment to look at him. "I've killed my family, my hands had their blood on them, literally. But I had to move on. Yes I blame myself, but it wasn't just me. As it wasn't just you, you were lied to. Your brother betrayed you. And if you're looking for outside forgiveness, then you have mine."

He was quiet for a moment then looked at me and said, "I've waited so long to hear that."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one." I took his hand and squeezed it just as we past the Welcome to New York State sign. "We're almost there."

We made it up the state for another half hour before pulling over to a diner. "Are you ready for your first real meal as a human?"

"I am," he nodded.

"Good, because we are getting breakfast."

"It's almost eight at night." He said confused.

"Perfect time for breakfast."

"You humans confuse me."

"Ah, just come on." He followed me into the small diner and we were seated quickly. A young waitress came over to take our drink orders in only a few moments. I read over the menu but couldn't help but notice the way she looked at Gadreel. Her eyes lingered a bit longer than I liked.

"What are the dinner specials?" I asked, gripping her attention from him. She went on about the meatloaf and a few other normal diner meals before I said we needed a little more time.

"You asked her about dinner, I thought we were getting breakfast."

"Never mind what I said to her." He looked a little shaken by my tone. "So, what are you eyeing?" I asked the angel across the table in a lighter tone.

"I don't know. What is normal?"

"Well, you had salty today, let's try sweet."

The waitress came back, "You both ready?"

"Yes, two breakfast specials, bacon, and eggs scrambled."

"You got it." She took our menus and left us with cups of coffee.

Gadreel took his cup and took a quick sip before grimacing. "Careful, it's hot."

"It's awful." He scowled at his drink.

"Try sugar and cream." He put one of each in the drink and stirred. "Try now." He was able to get a larger sip before putting it down. "Better?"

"Not by much." I giggled at him.

"Guess coffee isn't your thing."

When the plates came I drizzled my pancakes in syrup and dug in. Gadreel mirrored me and ate just as fast as I did, maybe even faster.

"Do you like it?" He nodded quickly. "Good, me too." When we finished I paid and we headed out to another motel.

"You should sleep well tonight," I said as I put my bag on the floor beside the bed. "I know I will." I yawned and flopped onto my bed. Gadreel walked up to the other bed and touched the blanket like this was the first time it was of any use to him. Well it was.

"You're still worried." He swallowed and looked at me. "Go shower and I'll make you tea. It'll sooth you some." He did as I said and went into the shower while I got the coffee pot going with hot water. When he came out wearing the same clothes and I noted to myself that I'd have to find him more. I looked at his damp hair when I noticed him cupping his hands.

"What are you holding?"

"Found it in the shower." I leaned over to see it as he opened his hands. I jumped back but quickly got ahold of myself. I scared Gadreel. "What's wrong?" he closed his hands and pulled away from me.

"Take it outside, please." I tried to catch my breath.

"Why?"

"Because they don't belong inside."

"It is just an arachnid."

"Yes, and it belongs outside."

"Oh, I thought you'd like to see it." His face fell as he opened the door. It was cute to see him trying, but he'd need a very different approach.

"Don't take it personally. Humans are just normally afraid of spiders." I patted his bed and he sat. "Here, drink this. I know its bitter but it'll help get you to sleep." He took the mug and sipped the black tea.

"Satine, where are we going?" he asked finally.

"Somewhere safe. We aren't far, should be there tomorrow. Give us a few days to rest and figure out what is going on." I yawned.

"Sleep," he said, standing with his empty mug.

"You too," I crawled into my bed and laid back into the pillows. I didn't close my eyes until the angel was in his bed too, but I was out in seconds.

She was gone so quickly. He envied her. He didn't know what it was like to shut everything off for a few hours but it looked so peaceful. He sat in the bed until morning without a moment of real rest.


	17. Chapter 17

17

I woke up and stretched then looked over to find the other bed empty. I sat up and I could hear the shower running. I went to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Gadreel, you alright in there?"

"Yes," came through the door in a low tone.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes," I opened the door slowly to find something odd.

"Gadreel, what are you doing?" He was sitting in the tub fully clothed with the water running. He was sitting leaned over his knees that where at his chest with his arms wrapped around them. He looked up at me as I pulled the clear curtain back and knelt on the floor beside the tub. "Normally people shower without their clothes." I laughed slightly, but he looked at me with the same ridged face. Water ran down his face and flattened his dark blond hair to his head. "What's wrong?" I asked, feeling his face. He wasn't warm but he was exhausted.

"This is the only place I feel calm."

"Well, you can't stay in here. You'll get sick." I turned the water off and handed him a towel. "Come on," I helped him onto the mat and wrapped the towel around his shoulders. He was such an angel. They were so weird. "How long have you been in here?"

"An hour," I sighed and tried to rub him down as he wasn't doing it.

"Gad, this was your only set of clothes."

"Gad?" he face lightened up slightly as the nickname.

"Yeah, nickname. Shorter name." I clarified. "Humans use them. Gabriel is Gabe, Castiel is Cas, you get it."

"Gad," he repeated.

"Wow you really do need to sleep. Stay here. I'm going to see if they have a dryer I can use. I'll be right back." I looked over the whole six roomed motel with no luck but came back with some poptarts from a vending machine.

"Well, there was no dryer but I found breakfast." I tossed him the poptart and ripped into mine. It was gone in seconds but I was starving. Gadreel's was too.

We were in the car soon and on our way to the one place I had left to go. The angel was damp beside me in the car but we just had to deal with it. His stomach was growling not long after we pulled away. He looked down at himself. "You're still hungry." I informed him.

"How often you we need to eat?"

"Depends. Normally we eat three big meals but on the road like this people eat the whole time. We'll be there in a few hours. Okay?"

"Okay," he shivered. Boy did he have a lot learn.

When I pulled up to the shaggy apartment I felt an old feeling of nostalgia bubble up. "This is it." I turned off the car.

"Where are we?"

"Home," I got out of the car and hauled my bag to the porch where I dug for my house key. I found it and opened up to the dusty place. "Sorry about the mess. No one's been around for a while. Wait here and I'll find you something dry to put on." I quickly ran to my uncle's old room. He was more Gadreel's height than my brother was. I found something that would work and I brought it down to the angel who'd found his way to the kitchen. He was downing a box of crackers that had to have been stale as hell.

I cleared my throat and said, "I found these."

"I'm sorry," he put down the box and took the clothes.

"You can change in there." I pointed to the bathroom behind the kitchen. He followed my finger and I started to dig for something to eat. I found a few cans of soup that I got to cooking just as he came back out.

"There, those fit nicely."

"Thank you for these."

"They were my uncle's. He was about your height."

"What is that?" he sniffed the air.

"Soup, just about done too." I scooped him a large bowl and then one for myself. We sat at the dusky kitchen table and got to eating. His was gone in seconds just like the poptart. I finished mine and sat back in the chair. "It's nice to have a day off." I smiled.

"What do people do on their 'day off'?" he asked.

"They go out, sleep in, watch movies or TV, or nothing at all. That's what's great about days off. You can do whatever you want." I saw in the kitchen light how tired he looked now. Even worse than yesterday.

"What do you do?"

"Hmm… I love a good movie with popcorn in a comfy couch with a blanket."

"Do you have all those things?"

"Hm, yes." I nodded.

"Can we do that?"

"I don't see why not. It is our day off." I showed him how to make popcorn then poured it into a big bowl before heading out to the living room. But as I made it to the doorway, I stopped and stared. The green carpet was cleaned. I remembered my brother's blood pooling on it.

"Satine?" Gadreel called me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I shook my head and went to the couch. "So what do you wanna watch?" He just looked at me. "Oh, right. You've never watched movies before. Alright, then I'll just throw in my favorite." I grabbed a DVD and threw it into the player before sitting on the couch beside the angel after grabbing a blanket from a chest beside the TV. I switched on the TV and threw the blanket over both of us.

"This is a good one, but you gotta pay attention, okay? It's my favorite so no talking." I teased as Inception started. We were about an hour into it when I felt Gadreel starting to lean on my shoulder. I pushed him back slightly but he did it again. "Hey, pay attention." I whispered and looked at him. His arms were crossed loosely across his chest and his mouth hung open slightly. His eyes were glued shut during the best part, but I couldn't help but smile.

I got up carefully and laid him so his head was on the end pillow of the couch. Then I lifted his legs so he was on his side. I spread the whole blanket over him as he snored softly and then stood up. "There ya go," I mumbled to myself before turning off the TV and heading upstairs where I opened my computer from my desk and started scrolling.

I was just starting to nod off at about nine when I heard something fall downstairs. I got up and grabbed my blade then headed down the stairs. It was dark and still. I couldn't smell demon but that didn't mean we were alone. I went to the living room but found it empty. The angel was no longer on the couch or anywhere I could see.

"Gadreel?" I called out and gripped the blade tighter. Then I pulled back quickly as something grabbed me. I almost struck the shadow but his words stopped me.

"Satine,"

"What are you doing down here? You scared the shit out of me."

"I saw you covered in blood. And she was there, laughing at you. Then I sat up and you were gone."

"It was just a nightmare. I'm fine, okay?" He looked me over before nodding. "Come with me, you need to go back to sleep." I led him to my room and told him to lay in my bed.

"Where will you sleep?" he asked laying down.

"Here hopefully, so don't take up the whole thing." He scooted closer to the wall side of the bed and I got in beside him. "If you steal the blankets I will kick you out." He eyed me nervously. "I'm kidding, Gad. Now go to sleep." He got comfortable and I pulled the blanket up and over my shoulders just as I started to hear snoring beside me. I smiled, he was finally sleeping.

I got up early the next morning and got right to cleaning after putting up a few sigils. It had been a long time since I had been home and after the deaths in the house, it was time to move on. This began at four in the morning starting with the kitchen. Papers and garbage laid everywhere, down the hall to the front door and it took over much of the countertops. I hauled out bags of trash and soon most was collected. Next came the scrubbing. I bleached down tables and walls until everything was clean. The fridge was cleaned out and all old food was trashed.

When that was cleaned I went to the living room and straightened up then dusted. That didn't take much time. I'd wait to vacuum once Gadreel was awake. There was no point in disturbing him now that he was finally sleep.

I moved onto my uncle's room where I dug through drawers and gathered up anything I thought the angel would wear and brought them out to the living room in a pile. His bed was still made from the day he died. Uncle was in the military for a few years when he was younger and he always kept the place clean. It only went to hell after he died. His room didn't need much cleaning or boxing up. He never married so there were no pictures to take down. No extra clothing to donate or keepsakes to save. Uncle Fisher was a bare man. He said he never needed anything but my brother and I.

Once that was done I headed to the kitchen after passing the door down to my brother's room. I knew what kind of mess was lingering down there but that would be for another day. I couldn't do that yet.

In the kitchen I got a pot of coffee going then went through what food was left. Everything in the fridge was gone and most of the cabinets had been eaten through by the many mice that were famous in this neighborhood. All that was left looked to be a few cans of spam. Boy did my uncle love spam.

It was nearing nine when I got out a pan and oil to fry up the spam. I could hear shuffling around upstairs. Perfect timing. The pan was nice and hot by the time he came down and I handed him a glass of water.

"What's that smell?" he asked.

"Bleach, I was cleaning. So, how did you sleep?"

"Very well, thank you. It was a strange feeling at first but I feel much better."

"Good, I'm glad."

_A local home was left in ruins this morning after what appears to have been an animal attack in the early hours of the morning, leaving four dead. Police are currently investigating the home, but they are not certain what animal is at fault. _

"Hey, can you keep stirring this, I need to make a phone call." I said heading into the living room. I looked at the pictures on the TV before pulling out my cell and making a much needed call.

"Satine?"

"Hey Dean, it's me."

"Where have you been?! We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Dean, I'm fine but I was pulled away for a while."

"What's going on? Yeah it's Satine," he said to Sam.

"Angels, listen there is a case here in Watertown I think you need to see."

"We're already on our way up there. Got a call from another hunter a few hours ago. We'll check the place out then meet you. Okay?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Stay away from the angels, got it? How the hell did you get back there anyway?"

"I'll explain everything when you get here alright?"

"Fine," he agreed begrudgingly.

"Later," I hung up the phone then went back to the kitchen. On the table were two plates of spam. The angel was digging through drawers for forks. Dean had told me to stay away from the angels but I don't know if he knew everything that was going on.

"Are you alright?" he eyed me as I stared at him.

"Yeah," I shook my head. "Let's eat." We sat down to the spam and ate quickly. "Sorry it's not very good, but we don't have much to work with."

"What happened here?"

"Huh?"

"Something bad happened here, someone was killed. Demons, I can feel them."

"Gadreel, you said you knew who I was. What exactly do you know?"

"Your mother, Elizabeth was an angel before she was cast out of heaven. You have her grace and heaven is hunting you. That is all. I was locked away until only recently so I do not know much else."

"Because I am part angel I am a strong vessel, strong enough for powerful demons to last in me. Nora, one of hell's finest, got me a few months ago. I was possessed for almost a year, during which she collected souls, killing hundreds of people, including my uncle. When my mother and father died in the accident, when I was young, he took my brother and myself into his home to raise us. When Castiel expelled Nora from me I was left a broken mess. My mind was ruined from her clawing. He was able to patch me up but when I came back here, Crowley killed my brother, in the living room. That is what you feel and smell. Demons no doubt have been in here many times looking for me. It wouldn't surprise me if angels had too."

"That explains the other night." He put down his fork.

"Yes, my family was killed because of me. I am the last of them. Gabriel sent me away because they could find me through him. Castiel too. I wanted you to go away because at some point they will find me and kill me. You should not be here for that."

"I told you that I'd give my life for you. Because I am human does not change that."

"Angels and their honor." I sighed to myself and finished eating.

He looked at me with a puzzled face before saying, "In the Garden I watched humanity for hundreds of years. You are such curious creatures, petty, and strong willed."

"Ok, you're starting to sound offensive now."

"My apologies. What I am meaning to say is that for so long I admired you. Your love, willingness to help others and protect. I see now that hasn't been changed. You've evolved, that is certain, but your natural essence is still intact."

"Gadreel, how many humans have you met, since you got out?"

"A few, why?"

"You have not seen the world. Not all people are the same. People can be cruel and harsh. They kill and take."

"You are telling me not to generalize you?"

"Yes,"

"But you do with us. You said how we "love our guilt" and our "honor"." He got me there. I had said those things. He stood in front of me making full eye contact. "It is not my honor that I wish to reclaim but forgiveness and redemption. I am not like those who hunt you, nor am I like those who need to hide you away. I've seen that you can protect yourself, and I understand why you don't want people close to you, but I am here to help you. You just have to let me." His hands were on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my eyes shining damp. His mouth opened slightly and his eyes brows grew closer.

"I did not mean to make you sad." He withdrew his hands.

"No, you're right. I don't let people come close to me because I know they'll be killed and I don't think I could watch it happen again. I'm not that strong." I turned from him and grabbed the dishes before going to the sink to wash them.

When I finished I got a text. It was from Dean saying they were in town.

"Gadreel," I called down the hall. He came from the living room and saw me grabbing my keys.

"Where are we going?"

"I need to get some more food. You stay here for a little while. Relax and I'll be home soon. Okay?"

"I cannot go with you?"  
>"Not this time. I won't be long. Watch some TV or something. Enjoy another down day." He looked tense in the hall. "Please don't worry about me, not today."<p>

"Take this then." He handed me the angel blade that I'd left on the couch.

"Thank you. See you later." I pulled on my coat and went to the car where I pulled out my phone and made a quick call telling them where to meet.

I got to the small coffee shop in about twenty minutes and found them waiting for me at a table. They both got up for hugs which I happily gave.

"It's good to see you guys." I smiled.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked the shock in both their faces was a little too much.

"Relax, I've only been gone a few days."

"Days?"

"Okay, this is going to sound crazy but I was in another world of sorts, like a dream world. Castiel was there and so was Gabriel."

"Gabriel?" Dean questioned.

"Yeah, a few angels got me and Cas and tried to kill me, burn me alive actually. Gabriel saved us and I was with him for a little while. It all seemed so real for a while but they I slowly figured out that it couldn't have been. Time was missing between events. I could hear your voices but they seemed to be just clouds so I figured dreams. I met Lucifer at some point but I don't know if he was real at all."

"You met Lucifer?" they were both dumbfounded.

"I know I sounds crazy but I finally began to understand what I am." I looked at them both, they were looking at me funny. "What?"

"Satine, you've been gone for a year."

"A year?!"

"Yes,"  
>"I've only been with Gabe for a little while."<p>

"Satine, Gabriel is dead." Sam said.

"I know, he told me. But somehow he comes to my dreams. The day that I drove off he came to me. That was when the angels had me in a warehouse tied up and lit a fire. He saved me with Castiel. Then I was in the lodge again with you guys and Castiel and Gabriel. They were protecting me. Then I jumped to an ally. I was pissed and scared and running. That's where I met Lucifer. He hinted to me that I was something different and told me that he'd protect me."

"The devil is protecting you?" they smirked.

"I don't know. You see everything seemed real but at the same time it didn't. Gabriel found me and finally told me about my mother." I explained to them about Elizabeth and how I have her grace and why the angels are after me. They understood but they didn't look like they believed me.

"You said it was a dream." Dean pointed out.

"Yes, but it made sense. That's why Nora needed me. I was strong enough to hold her." They both still looked skeptical so I took out the angel blade and quickly cut Dean's hand.

"What the hell?!"

"Watch," I put my hand over the cut and focused on it. A few moments later I lifted my hand and it was gone.

"It's true." Sam said, amazed.

"It is." A voice said behind me. I turned to see Castiel standing behind me.

"Cas, we've been praying for you for weeks." Dean almost shouted.

"I've been—busy." He said.

"Yeah, we heard. Could you do us a favor and warn us next time you decide to grab her. And you, let us know when you're heading out." Dean looked at me.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried."

"Of course I was worried, after and the demon stuff. We thought they'd gotten you again."

"Satine, I have a message from Gabriel." Cas said.

"What?"

"Um, it's only for you." He looked at the guys.

"Oh, ok." I walked outside with him for a moment.

"He says that he won't be able to contact you anymore but he said, "You hit the nail on the head with the story.""

"Okay?"

"He also said to keep Gadreel away from them." He looked at them through the glass. "They have a bit of a past together and it wouldn't go well if they met again."

"Alright. So I won't let them come over. Oh and Cas, he's human now."

"Human?"

"Yeah, he lost his grace a few nights ago fighting a few demons. Don't worry, I've been taking care of him, but I don't know what to do with him. He wants to stay with me."

"Let him."

"Is that a good idea?"

"He is looking for a new start, you can give him that. You did for me." He smiled to himself. "He needs it."

"I can tell." He was just about to leave when I asked, "Cas, was everything real?"

"In a sense."

"Am I really connected to Lucifer?"

"I don't know." He answered then left. I went back inside and had a coffee with the boys then got ready to leave.

"I have to get some food, the house was empty, but I'll see you guys before you leave?"

"Yes," Sam answered. "We'll be around for a while."

"Yeah, we got a pack of wolves or something around here to find." Dean explained.

"So be careful."

"Can do."

"Hey, where can we find you?"

"Oh, uhh… my uncle's house is 45 Mallard street. I've got the place locked up good so call first."

"Will do." Sam said. I hugged them again then headed out into the falling snow and got food.

"Did she seem like she was hiding something to you?" Sam asked his brother in the car.

"Yeah, and the way Cas pulled her aside like that. Seems odd."

"Yeah it does. Should we stop by later?"

"I'd give her day, but yeah we should make a visit." Dean agreed.

"I'll have her text us tonight before bed, just to be sure."

I was home soon enough with food and the door was opened the second I made it to the porch. Gadreel took a few bags from me and helped get it all to the kitchen.

"Thanks, I got a little of everything for us. Enough to get us through this week at least." He looked at everything I took out of the bags and inspected it. "Are you hungry now?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Alright, I can make you something." I got out a box of mac n' cheese and a pot of boiling water. I cooked it and got him a bowl.

"You are not eating too?" I wasn't hungry after the café.

"No, I'm fine." He followed me with his bowl to the living room where I turned on the TV. "What did you do while I was gone?"

"I looked around and put up a few more sigils." So nothing, I thought to myself.

"Those clothes are for you." I pointed to the pile then changed the channel to the ever on SVU. He was done with his food quickly then went through the pile. "Hope those work."

"Thank you. They will be just fine." He pulled one up, a long sleeved black shirt.

"Gadreel, what do your wings look like?" I asked randomly.

"My wings?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've been around angels for a few months and I've never seen their wings."

"You cannot, they are like our grace, hidden in these forms."

"But you do have them?"

"Yes, all angels do."

"Would I?" He looked at me with curiosity.

"You are not an angel."

"Oh," For some reason I always felt like I did somehow. Like they were there and I couldn't see them. It was silly and untrue, but finding out that I was part angel made it seem real. Gadreel looked sorry for answering truthfully when he saw my reaction.

"You have something better," he brightened up.

"What's that?"

"Independence. You do not need anyone. Angels are always in need of another. Loneliness drives us to do things we wouldn't normally do. And you have free will. You never need direction. You have your own. Angels envy you for that."

"Angels envy humans?" I asked, skeptical.

"Yes," he had a slight smile on his face after cheering me up.

"Well now you're one of us. You can make your own decisions."

This looked to frighten him. "I don't know how. I've always been told what to do."

"Not anymore. You need to find something, a goal or something you want and aim for it."

"What do I want?"

"That's up to you."

"And people can do this all by themselves?"

"No," I smirked. "Many people don't know what to do with themselves. Hell, I didn't until all this happened."

"What is your goal?"

"That is for me to know." I stood and took his bowl. We watched TV together until it got late. I then headed to the shower and changed into my night clothes. I found Gadreel on my bed looking at my phone.

"This is for communication?"

"Yes," I said and took it from him. "And it is rude to go through personal things like phones."

"I meant no harm."

"I know," I softened my tone and sat down beside him. I noticed the pile of clothes was now on my floor. "Why don't you put on something to sleep in, normally we change into clothes that we only sleep in. Like these." I dug out and handed him a short sleeved black undershirt and a pair of gray sweats. "They are more comfortable." He took them and started to change right in front of me. That was of no surprise, so I turned my head until he was done.

"Why do you shy away from me when unclothed, or only change in separate rooms?"

"It is a silly thing that we do, especially with other sexes. We are naked and it is almost considered taboo. I don't particularly mind but it is a habit."

"Should I leave next time?"

"If you like," I opened up my laptop on the bed and said, "Gadreel, I've been meaning to ask you, but why are you protecting _me_. There are so many people that demons are after."

"Gabriel came to me. He knew that I was lost and told me that he needed help. That someone was in danger. He told me it was someone important." He said as if I was special. I blushed slightly.

"So he led you to me?"

"He told me where I could find you and that Samael was after you."

"Samael?" He buttoned up then, as if he wasn't supposed to tell me that. "Who is that?"

"I was told not to tell you that." His face fell.

"Samael," I typed it into the computer and found results immediately. I found that this angel was the archangel of death and protector of the fifth heaven. He was also a guardian angel at some point. "The archangel of death?! Are you kidding me! Gabriel couldn't bother to let me in on who was hunting me?!"

"He told me you would do this."

"What freak out? Yeah I should. This isn't just any angel, it's the damn archangel of death!"

"That is why I am here."

"No offence but even you said it, you're human. What could you possibly do to help me?" He looked offended.

"I am trying! I spend most of my days here trying to think of something I can do. Gabriel didn't give me any direction. I was just thrown here with you and told to do my job. I've done my best so far!" he shouted.

"I understand that but when he finds me we need a plan!" I yelled back.

"I am working on it!"

"Good, you do that." I stomped out of the room and down the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"I need a breath. Stay here," I demanded "It's hard enough keeping myself out of trouble." I muttered to myself as I threw on a shawl and headed out into the snow.

It was nearing midnight and there was still no text or call from Satine. The boys had been waiting in their room for a few hours while doing some research.

"Dean, I think it's time we call it."

"Give her another half hour." He said through a sip of beer.

"She might not have another half hour."

"What time is it?"

"Twelve, she should have called or something by now."

"Alright, let's go." They headed over in the impala and sat outside the apartment for a few minutes watching carefully. They were about to go in when they saw someone open a curtain in the front window.

"Who's that?" Sam asked looking through binoculars.

"Not Cas or Gabriel, that's for sure." They both grabbed a blade and headed to the building. They didn't knock before trying the door. It was locked so Sam tried picking it before Dean pulled him back and kicked it in. They walked in quickly without flashlights. The hall and stair lights were on giving them some ability to see the figure running at them with an angel blade drawn. He stabbed a few times before Dean was able to get him to the ground, losing his blade.

Dean got a good look at him before saying, "Gadreel?"

"What the hell?"

"Where is Satine?!" Dean yelled and put his blade to Gadreel's throat.

"I don't know. She left a while ago and hasn't come back." He said honestly.

"What are you doing here?"

"He's the one after her." Dean said and plunged the blade into Gadreel's shoulder while he braced himself.

"Ahhh! Stop," he panted below Dean. "Stop," Blood poured out of his shoulder as Dean removed the blade.

"How are you not dead?" Sam asked.

"I'm human." He growled, blood dripping from his lips. "I am here to protect her."

"Why? Why would she need heaven's outcast to protect her?"

"You just said it." He stilled grumbling in pain.

"Dean," Sam pulled his brother off the former angel.

Gadreel got up and held his shoulder. "Gabriel asked me to protect her now that he can't."

"Now? He's been dead for a while. How long have you been with her?" Sam asked.

"A few days. The angels were sensing that she was with him and he knew they'd never with me." He took in a heavy breath. "I may need your help. She left a few hours ago after-… I don't know how to find her."

"I can track her phone." Gadreel held it up to Sam.

"She left it with me."

"Satine," Dean growled.

"Great," Sam sighed.

"She's in New York still," they heard after a fluttering behind them.

"Cas," Dean said,

"I know where she is but she needs our help."

"Did—…" Gadreel started, fearfully.

"No, it's someone else." Cas put a hand on both brothers and popped them into a brightly lit lobby with clean white walls. A dark haired woman sat behind a desk next to a fogged glass door. Cas was gone a moment later then back again with Gadreel. The woman looked up then said something into a Bluetooth. Seconds later a few angels came out with blades and circled them.

"This was not thought through." Cas said to himself.

"Ya think?" Dean muttered as screaming came from the other room.


	18. Chapter 18

18

I opened my eyes to a bright light above me. I looked around the clean bright room and tried to rub my eyes but I was restrained to a metal chair. Then a dark skinned woman came out with beautiful long black hair sitting neatly behind her shoulders. She wore a long white coat over a dark suit.

"Satine," she smiled down at me.

"Are you Samael?" I asked carefully.

"Samael?" she laughed. "Dear child, no. My name is Jophiel. I am so happy to have finally found you, pretty thing." She ran her fingers through my hair. "You've managed to evade us for months, but I'm happy that you made yourself visible to us the other night by healing someone. That gave us a better idea where to look. And then you going out all by yourself in the cold. Well, we couldn't help but pick you up. It isn't safe nowadays." I kicked myself mentally for that one.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want you to see things that you can't. Like those pretty wings of yours that are of no use to you."

"I have wings?"

"Yes, and they are beautiful." She assured me.

"You can see them?"

"Yes, ma'am, and you can too in just a moment." She picked up a needle from a silver cart beside the chair full of a light blue… something. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It glowed so brightly, white and blue. "I'm going to give you the eyes to see them." I was nervous and excited at the same time. She injected the needle into my neck and pushed the plunger until it was empty. I felt stronger and lighter at the same time. "That was grace. Now let's get you out of that chair so you can stretch them." She undid my restraints and I was able to stand.

Without a real thought I was able to stretch the wings out and around me. My mouth hung open as the tan and white feathers spread around the front of me. Tears rolled down my cheek as I touched them. They were weightless and felt like air around me. They were soft and strong. I beat them one, twice, three times, before I stopped after accidently hitting Jophiel.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know their true size yet."

"That is quite alright," she said, gripping her jaw as two men came in.

"Thank you so much. I've always known they were there but I could never feel or see them. They are beautiful." I stretched one out and hugged the other around me.

"I'm sure they are cramped. Why don't you give them a good stretch," She suggested. I nodded and let them unfurled all the way until they touched the walls. I took a deep breath in as I would with any stretch but then I let out a scream so loud that it would have shattered glass. Pain rang through my whole body and into my chest.

"AHH!" I cried as it happened again and a blue flash darted across the air. I could hear my name screamed from another room as I fell to the floor on my knees. I felt like I was broken in half as I turned around to see my wings bloodied and burnt up to ash and bone on the ground beside me.

"Why?" I sobbed.

"Why? You see my child, you were given something by your mother that wasn't hers to give."

"My Grace?" Tears flew down my face.

"Exactly. You see that belongs to heaven."

"I don't have much."

"No, but more than you needed." The men hauled me to my feet and put me back in the chair and restrained me, even though I had no fight left.

"Satine!" the angels screamed.

"Thank you Gadreel, if it weren't for you, we've have never found her." the dark haired woman said behind the desk. He looked at her with fear as Cas sent them back to the apartment.

"You sold her out!" Dean fought back tears.

"No, I would never." Gadreel fell to the floor, his legs weak under him. He didn't understand.

"You did!" His voice was sharp as he kicked the angel in the ribs heavily. "You sold her out!" he kicked again and again, and no one pulled him back, even Castiel stood and watched. He was frozen in place rewatching what he'd just seen over and over again. Her scream flew through their ears still. Tears ran down both Winchesters' faces. Sam leaned against the hall table to support himself, sure he'd fall if he didn't.

Dean kept assaulting Gadreel with kicks and punches while Gadreel muttered to himself. He was covered in blood from multiple open wounds. He had broken ribs no doubt and a bulging broken eye socket. He was coughing up blood when Dean finally backed off.

"No," he tried to sit up, his broken lip drooling blood on the floor. "Kill me," he begged in the most broken voice Dean had ever heard. "Please, kill me."

"No, Dean." Cas said.

"She wouldn't want that." Sam offered with a breaking voice.

He tightened his grip on the blade. "Please," Gadreel begged, not being able to see much. He was in so much pain but nothing could amount to how messed up he felt inside. "I let her die. I failed her. Please, kill me."

Dean turned with the blade in hand and took heavy steps towards the man on the floor in the puddle of blood. He stood in front of him, the blade ready and was just about to swing when a gentle hand gipped his elbow.

"No, Dean." A soft voice whispered to him. He dropped the blade and backed up, falling onto the couch.

"What are you waiting for?!" Gadreel screamed.

"Shh," he was hushed as I cupped his face. He froze in place as I stroked his cheek with my thumb and his head with my other hand. "Hush, Gadreel." He reached up and felt my long hair before grabbing me and pulling me to him and sobbing into my leg.

"You're dead." Cas said from the hall. "I saw your grace." Sam fell on the floor beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

"They cut off my wings." I said, still numb. "Jophiel gave me the grace to see them then cut them off, letting them rot on the floor." I felt empty and incomplete as I pet Gadreel's head.

"Jophiel?" Sam asked Castiel.

"She is the angel of beauty. She must have known whose daughter you were then. Jophiel was always jealous of Elizabeth." He explained as Gadreel started to choke on my lap.

"Cas, he can't breathe. Please, help him." I said defeated. They had taken that much of my power away.

"I can't heal all of him but I can fix his lungs and eyes. I used too much power getting everyone back."

"Please," He came over and put two fingers on his brother's head. When he turned away, Gadreel gasped and coughed up some blood but much less. His face was better, but his eyes were still red.

"Satine," he breathed.

"Shh," I hushed him again. "You need to rest." I stood and helped him up while he leaned on me completely. "You may stay here if you wish." I said to the boys. "But I need to go to sleep now." I left it at that. Sam came over and helped me get Gadreel up the stairs and into my bed.

"The angel at the desk said that he sold you out." Sam said as we stepped back into the hall.

"No, I got their attention when I healed him a few nights ago. Then I went out by myself tonight like an ass."

"Will you be alright?" he asked gently.

"Honestly, I don't know." Coughing from my room drew my attention. "I have to take care of him. Goodnight Sam."

"We'll be downstairs if you need us."

"Thank you." I said then went to the bathroom where I grabbed alcohol and gauze then went back to the bedroom. "Gadreel, I need to get your shirt off."

"Satine, I'm sorry."

"Later, alright?" I sighed. He nodded slowly then sat up a bit as I took off his shirt. "Damn it, Dean." I muttered looking at Gadreel's bruised body. He looked like he had at least three broken ribs. Almost none of his abdomen was the same color, yellow, blue, purple, red. A few places had ripped skin that bled. I started there with the alcohol. He flinched when I made contact.

"I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt."

"Good," he mumbled. I just breathed through my nose and cleaned up that part as best as I could. When that was done I moved to his shoulder where it looked like he'd been stabbed then his face. His lip was spilt and so was his eyebrow. I cleaned those both then threw out what was left. I sat on the bed beside him and stared at the floor.

"Satine," his hand took my arm gently.

"They cut my wings off." I said and started to tremble. "She let me see them the cut them off." I cried. He sat up slowly behind me and put an arm around my shoulder pulling me down to the bed. I put my face on his chest and sobbed. "They're gone. I felt them my whole life, then she let me see them. I could touch them then she let two angels cut them off."

"Shh," he hushed me now.

"I can't feel them anymore." I cried. "They're gone." It hurt so bad that my whole body trembled.

"Are you in pain?" he asked quietly. I nodded. "Let me see." I sat up and pulled off my sweater then tank top, showing him my whole back. His fingers slowly traced my shoulder blades where they had been and I flinched.

"Is there anything there?"

"You have large scarred rips. Does it hurt when I touch them?" I nodded. It hurt like they were fresh still.

"It feels like they are still bleeding."

He took a sharp breath in before leaning forward and putting his lips to the rips. It was unexpected but I know he'd seen it on the TV today.

"They're gone." I started to cry again and he carefully put his arms around me again, turning me towards him.

"We will get your grace back." He looked me in the eye. "I promise you that." It wasn't the grace I wanted. "Alright?" his eyes were shiny as he looked into mine. "We will get it back." He repeated as he pulled me back down to him. He pulled the blankets over us and held my shaking body to his broken one.

She cried for hours into his chest and he couldn't help but share her pain. He knew what it was like to lose his grace but to have her wings ripped from her completely, he couldn't even imagine. The pain that took her over was unlike anything he'd ever seen and now that she was asleep he could finally beg for her forgiveness. She wouldn't allow it but he needed to.

"I should have never let you leave. I'm sorry, Satine. I'm so sorry." He said over and over all night. He didn't sleep that night, only held her and whispered to her.

When morning came, Sam came to the room. He knocked but Satine didn't even stir. Gadreel wouldn't get up either, but only because he wouldn't let her go. Sam opened the door himself and came in.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

"I don't know." Gadreel answered, fear tripped his mind but he was almost sure that she just needed time.

"Dean and I are going to work the case. If she needs us, have her call."

"Thank you, Sam." Gadreel nodded. Sam didn't like seeing Satine in bed with Gadreel, but he knew that like most angels, Gadreel needed something to lead him. Satine was his purpose and he knew that no matter what, Gadreel would do his best to protect her.


	19. Chapter 19

19

Gadreel rubbed my shoulders when noon passed by and he grew worried. He rubbed my shoulder harder until I opened her eyes and rolled away from him.

"Satine," I made no effort to respond. "Satine, it's after noon." I stayed still and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry," I then looked at him and sat up, letting my legs hang off the bed. He turned away in guilt. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. "Please, come and eat with me." He stood up and tugged on my arm gently then recoiled in pain. He grabbed his shoulder and winced in pain. I got up and went to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of pills then came back and handed him two.

"Swallow those, they'll help with the pain." He took them and rolled them around in his palm.

"You need them more than me." I just shot him a look. He looked back down and took them without a second asking.

We went down stairs and I got out oatmeal and two bowls.

"I'll do it." Gadreel offered and I backed up, letting him make breakfast. He read the directions and got to work. A few minutes later he handed me my bowl. We ate in silence while I stared off into space. I felt his eyes on me often but I was so numb still. There was no more pain, just an emptiness. I got up with my empty bowl and left it in the sink.

I could feel eyes on me as I left and went into the living room where I sat in the dark. Gadreel joined me soon and sat beside me. He was stiff beside me and I sighed. I couldn't take this out on him, so I cupped his face, surprising him. He turned to me quickly while I ran my thumb over his bruised face.

"How do you feel?" I asked softly.

"After everything, you are asking me how I feel?"

"Yes, I forgive you." He knitted his eyebrows together at me. "I forgive you because I trust you more than most people." He dropped his eyes from mine.

"Why? Why out of all people, angels and humans, do you put your trust in me? What have I ever done to warrant your trust?"

"Why shouldn't I?" He didn't want to answer that and I could clearly see that he did not feel worthy. "I care about you. You've shown that you are willing to give your life for me, someone you have no debt to."

"Yes I do."

"No, Gadreel." My voice held on tightly to his name as it escaped my mouth. "No you don't. Anything and everything that has ever happened to me is my or my mother's fault."

"I should have been with you yesterday."

"No, they would have done worse to you."

"You worry for me?"

"Of course I do." I was pulled to him after saying that but it surprised me so much that I pulled away.

"I apologize. I've been alone for so long. I do not understand how to show affection."

"No, you were right. I'm just—I'm still numb."

"May I touch you?" he asked carefully.

"You may," I allowed. When I agreed he gently had me turn so that my back was to him.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he asked then slowly started to rub my shoulder blades in gentle circles with his thumbs. "Does this feel okay?" he asked. I nodded and leaned back into him slowly. He did this for a few minutes and I felt much of the pain melt away, but then he stopped and stood.

"Don't turn around." He said.

"What are you doing?" I questioned, not sure what to expect.

"Just hold on a moment." I could hear the sound of something moving behind me and I was very tempted to turn.

"Gadreel?"

"Alright," I turned slowly to see him standing in the middle of the room with two huge wings spread across the room. Their tips touched each wall with light feathers that shined blue. They were huge, and regal, and broken. They were thin and patchy. Scars and marks covered them where feathers did not. My mouth hung open at the sight of them while he wouldn't look at me.

"I thought you said-…"

"I did not tell you the truth."

"Why not?" I stood and reached out to touch them, but he recoiled away from my hand. He looked like he was kicking himself mentally for pulling back and gave me the okay to touch them. Carefully I reached out again to run my fingers over the feathers. They were soft and powerful but few in number.

"I was ashamed to reveal them to you. They are in a terrible state and we take such pride in our wings. They reflect us."

"Gadreel, they are beautiful." I said, circling him so I could see from the back.

"Not anymore. They were once my most precious attribute, but now they are but a shadow of their former magnificence."

"What happened to them?" He closed them up closer to himself then turned to face me.

"They grew weak in the cell and a sickness took them over. I've done what I can to restore them, but I fear, this is all they will ever be." He had a certain sadness in his voice that made me want to comfort him with an embrace, but I wouldn't allow myself.

This display made me wonder who was the luckier one; I had mine ripped away in an instant while he sat for years watching them die still attached.

"Why did you decide to show me?"

"You allowed me to touch you in the most intimate way that angels can."

"You said I am not an angel."

"I was wrong. To allow you to touch my wings, is the ultimate sign of trust." After telling me that, I had a strong need to touch him again. I put my arms around him quickly and rubbed my cheek into his neck. I could feel that his caught him off guard but he accepted it and in turn put his arms around me. I opened my eyes after a few moments to see that his wings were around me as well, holding me closer to him.

He was warm and gentle and safe, everything I needed to feel.

I stood with him for a few moments until I felt him tense up. "What's wrong?"

"Demons," he whispered. I pulled for him and scanned his face. He looked like he could feel them near us.

"Where?"

"Close,"

"We should leave for a while. We've been here too long." He nodded and I ran to get dressed quickly. Gadreel did the same after hiding his wings again. I grabbed my bag with money and the blade before running for the car, but the tires were slashed.

"Shit," I muttered as I grabbed my phone sending a quick text to tell the guys to meet us in a nearby park.

"You have a plan?"

"We're going to find the Winchesters and hide with them." He did not look pleased with this idea, but it was the best I had for the moment. "C'mon," I led him to the park where I kept a watchful eye out. It was cold and there was snow all around us, but there was still a good amount of people around. This made me weary.

"You're human right?"

"Yes,"

"And I've lost most of my grace. In this many people we'll be harder for them to detect. We just have to blend in. They don't know exactly what we look like." He nodded in agreement as I could hear the impala's engine nearing. But I quickly spotted two men with black eyes coming this way. Gadreel tensed up beside me so I grabbed his hand and turned to him. "Kiss me," I said. He looked down at me with eyebrows knitted together. "Now," I urged. He then bent down and held my face and put his lips to mine. I kissed him back while his hand hid most of my face and I held onto the collar of his shirt, just so he couldn't pull away until I was sure they'd passed.

I pulled back when they were a good distance away and I could see the impala. I smiled in triumph at the evasion and kissed Gadreel's cold nose before pulling him towards the car.

"He's not coming with us," Dean said as he got out of the driver's seat.

"Yes, he is." I argued.

"No, no, no, not after everything he did."

"Dean, he comes with me." I could feel Gadreel pull back at Dean's tone. "You'll be fine," I whispered to him.

"Nope,"

"Dean," Sam warned him.

"Fine," he grumbled and we all got in the car. "But if you try anything, and I mean anything, I don't care what she says. This knife is going right through you. Got it?" he said facing us in the back.

"Dean, stop it."

"I don't know why you trust him, he is nothing but trouble wrapped in a blanket of douchebag." Boy was Castiel right about not letting them get together.

"I am sorry for everything I've done to you two." Gadreel started. "I want nothing more than to redeem myself to you. I want to prove that I am not as I was. But my job currently is to protect her at all costs."

"Then let me tell you, you've done a wonderful job." He teased angry. Gadreel was tense beside me and for a moment I thought he'd strike. His face was riddled with anger and formed into the heaviest bitchface I'd ever seen in my life. "I've never seen her safer,"

"Dean, knock it off." Sam looked at his brother.

"Don't tell me you're okay with having him around again. Hell, he road you around first and now he's got Satine around his finger."

"Gadreel, what is he talking about?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you? Well he tricked us into thinking he was someone else before slipping into Sam's body to "heal himself". Then he killed a good friend of ours while in Sam and sided with Metatron and almost got all of us killed!"

"I am not like that anymore. I was lost and reason was not on my side."

"Oh, really. Reason, thank god that's with you."

"Because you are the righteous one, Dean, am I correct? You fooled your brother into letting me in and kept the mark of Kane—"

"Enough!" I shouted silencing the whole car. "I don't care what happened in the past. Right now we have demons after us, and angels that will fry us all if we don't get moving. So pack up your pity parties and let's get out of here!" Dean put his head down and put the car in gear.

We got to the motel room and immediately put up sigils and salt before getting settled in for the night. Dean and Sam had boxes of pizza laying around so there was enough food. We ate and flicked on the TV while I searched the internet for anything useful on my laptop. I wasn't sure what I was looking for but I had a good idea about what I needed to do Nora was a large problem that needed to be ended and Samael was sounding like death itself.

The bothers had both fallen asleep by the time I finally put the laptop away. Gadreel was watching TV beside me on the bed when I rubbed his shoulder. "Come on, time to sleep." We laid down and he whispered to me, "I am sorry I did not tell you about what I did back then."

"That was then, you said you are not the same as you were then."

"I am not."

"Then that's all that matters." There was a noise outside the room that grabbed his attention and he sat right up. Whatever it was passed by and I grabbed his shoulder again, "Sleep," He laid back down and tightened the blanket around himself.

We slept until I got a chill and opened my eyes. It was very early in the morning, around five, when I noticed that I was alone in the bed. Sam and Dean were still snoring away but then I saw the door wide open and the salt line broken.

"What the hell?" I mumbled to myself and grabbed a blade before heading out into the cold darkness. In the street lights far down the road heading towards the woods I saw someone lumbering away. I couldn't be sure who it was but by the size I figured that it was Gadreel.

I tried to catch up with them quietly with my blade out, but I had no intention of using it on him. But I didn't understand why he'd be out here at this time of night, or why he'd leave the door open and break the salt line. This worried me as we got further and further away from town. By the time I got up to them it was clear that it was Gadreel, but we were deep in the woods on the side of a dark road. Then he took a sudden turn into the woods through snow. I followed at a distance until we got up to a stream that fell over a large drop. Then he stopped moving and turned to face me in the moonlight while I hid in the shadows.

"You were foolish to think you could hide from us." He said. I stood and faced them in the light now that I had been detected.

"What have you done to Gadreel?"

"Oh, he's not here at the moment and won't be ever again." He laughed.

"Who are you?"

"It does not matter."

"Why are you doing this?"

"The boss wants a word with you, but you've been too busy with this fallen thing to give him the time of day."

"What does he want?"

"He means to speak with you, that is all I can say."

"I have no want to speak with him." I growled.

"Then your pretty angel here will enjoy a nice jump in the water."

"Get out of him!" I demanded. He laughed and shook his head.

"Oh, how quickly you fall for such damned creatures. This one? Really? He was the number one outcast of heaven, and human too."

"I don't care."

"There are so many others to choose from. And what about your Gabriel? Turned him aside have we? Even though the hardest thing he ever did was turn you away." I did not respond. "You place your love in such useless things. Well, I'll be sure to help remove this burden." He turned to face the water and just as he was about to take another step off the side I ran over and pulled him to the ground.

"Fine, take me to your boss." I grumbled, still holding him down.

"Good, he'll be pleased with this."

"Now, get out of him." He laughed before throwing his head back, the cloud of smoke shoot through the air and into the darkness. Gadreel fell into me with no energy that the demon had provided.

"Satine?" he shivered.

"I've got you." I held him to my chest and rubbed his bare arms and kissed his temple. "I've got you."

Dean got up freezing and saw that both Gadreel and Satine were gone. "Sam," he pushed his brother awake.

"What?"

"They're gone."

"Crap,"

"I knew he was trouble still." They got in the car in the slowly lightening sky and headed down roads looking for them.

I saw a pair of headlights coming from town and I began to wave it down. Gadreel was holding on tight to me, shivering. He'd been bare footed and in short sleeves still. He was sure to be sick from the cold.

The car pulled over and the Winchesters got out and ran over to us.

"What did he do?" Dean was aggressive.

"He was possessed. The demon almost threw him into the river."

"You saved him?"

"I need one of your coats, please." I asked. Dean wasn't moving so Sam gave me his. I threw it over Gadreel's shoulders while he still shivered. His face was red from the cold wind and his lips were a slight purple. I thought there would be a fight about what I had agreed to, but he was out of it and I don't think he heard what was said. He was better off that way.

When we got back to the motel I threw him into a hot shower in hope of bringing up his body temperature. I waited outside of the bathroom for him and when he came out in dry clothes, into bed was the only place I could think of.

Dean got a call about two more victims of the animal attack that he needed the check out. Sam offered to stay. I nodded and sat on the bed, rubbing Gadreel's back.

"Sam, I'm going out for a while. Okay?"

"Is that a good idea? I mean after this morning,"

"Sam, everything will be alright." I promised. I was doing this to keep them safe. He knew something was up but didn't object. He knew what it was like to have your life ruled over by others, even though it was only because they cared.

Outside the window someone looked in at me with a sick smile. It was time to go.

"Please don't let Dean hurt him," I looked over at the sleeping man.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" I looked at him. "Right, I'll do what I can." He promised. I leaned down and kissed Gadreel's cheek and whispered, "Goodbye," before hiding the angel blade in my coat and going with the demon.

"I'm ready." I said as I closed the door. The demon woman put a hand on my shoulder and I opened my eyes to a dimly lit office with carpets and dark wooden furniture.

"Satine," the man turned in the chair behind the desk to face me.

"You wanted to talk," I said.

"Yes," he waved the demon away and it was just us. "No point in keeping that blade close, sweetheart. I have no intention of harming you."

"Good," I sat down and threw my boots on his desk.

"Please, sit down." He said with an air of arrogance.

"What do you want, Crowley?"

"What do I want? I called his meeting for your benefit."

"Well aren't I the luckiest girl?"

"Still got that spunk, I see." He laughed to himself as he looked to remember something. "And all snuggled up with the fallen angel. That surprised me but is hilarious nonetheless."

"Wouldn't have to if your goons would just leave us alone."

"Oh, you know I can't do that. You're far too important, and now I believe you know why."

"Yeah, I was informed of my heritage and how it was of use to you at some point."

"And those feather dusters upstairs ruined something great for me." He reached into a drawer in the desk and pulled out a golden case. "But I have a feeling that I might have your help again."

"Yeah, how's that?"

"This might tempt you." He removed the lid and from inside a glass tube glowed bright white and blue. My eyed grew wide at it. "I knew this might interest you."

"Whose is it?"

"Does that matter, love?"

"Yes," He rolled his eyes.

"This belongs to that empty-headed bulldozer of destruction that you've glued yourself to." I scoffed and sat back in the chair.

"He's managed this long without it."

"Oh, but how will he far when Samael comes looking for you. You've got that nut-job twisted so tightly around your finger that the moment the archangel hits, he'll die for you, human or not."

"He's made that more than clear."

"Then what, have you become so self-centered that his life means nothing to you?" It hurt to think that I'd ever be that way. I knew deep down that the demon had been right. I loved this broken piece of angel and I was willing to die for him. That was the only reason I was here today, but this was a barter. I needed so much more.

"I've warned him more than enough times that he will die if he stays with me."

"I can't say I'm not surprised but I am impressed." He clapped slowly.

"I'm gonna need a better offer from you if you want my help."

"You're going to argue the king of hell?"

"Do you see anyone else for me to argue?"

"Fine," he cooled himself down some. "I have something better you might like then." He reached down and pulled out another vile. "I am aware that you are also without grace. If I were to replenish you back to your useful levels, how about then?"

"You need me to have grace anyway for Nora to hold within me." He looked stumped and what I already knew.

"Seeing as you know so much now, what is it that you want?" Then I smiled, this was where I needed to be.

"Give me control of myself for a few days and a few demons for a while," I stood. "Only when I call them."

"Why on earth would you want that?"

"I'm sure you can understand how desperate I am to get Samael off my scent. Give me power over them just to rid myself of Samael and you can go right back to collecting or whatever else you need Nora to do."

He smiled darkly. "And if Nora is in control, why would you need to rid of Samael? Are you not as heartless as you made me think?"

"Because I can love and I will still protect them even while I am gone."

"Very well, but this starts the moment the deal is made."

"I expect no different."

"Then your body for their protection."

"Uh, hold on. That is not all my terms. I will be getting that grace." I pointed to the vile on the table.

"Picky,"

"And my grace, of course."

"Fine," he was angry that I had control over him somewhat. "All deals end with a kiss, love."

"Let me see him get his grace." He rolled his eyes again but he grabbed the vile and popped us outside of the motel room. He opened the door slowly and opened the vile. The grace swam like water into the cold air and into the room. I watched from the window it travel to the sleeping man. I could see him inhale it and his eye started to glow as he sat up. That drew Sam's attention from his computer. His face healed instantly and he turned to look at me as a tear ran down my face and I let my head drop. He stood up and ran for the door when a hand on my shoulder brought me back to the office.

"There, your dove has his juice back."

"Let's do it." My voice cracked. He pulled me to his lips while he opened the other vile and I inhaled the grace. As I felt it set in a dark cloud swarmed above me. This was it, the thing I was most afraid of, right above me and I had no other choice. I closed my eyes and breathed her in. She swarmed my body and filled my lungs.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Hello everyone! Hope you're enjoying everything so far. Just a heads up, everything from this chapter on takes place after season 9, after the mark of Cain, after the fall, and after Metatron is imprisoned. Please, feel free to leave comments, I'd love to hear what you all think of the story so far, or any reactions you might have.**

20

For three more years I went on with Nora in me. I didn't fight her like I once did and she was comfy inside me. She did her job and toyed with her catch. Again we went on for countless days and nights with little rest. If we weren't on a collection we were partying in the only way Nora liked. We drank and fucked and killed. It seemed to be the only things she enjoyed.

We were on a particularly hard collection in Nebraska from a man who knew we were after him. We'd chased him for three states. He knew some things about demons and was handier than Nora liked. It was when we were in deep trouble, like this man gave us, that she'd jump out of me for a moment and I'd get her out of traps. We had a different relationship than we had the last time. I knew her twerks and quirks. I knew to jump when the ground fell out from under us and this made her more friendly, if that was possible. She didn't jerk me around like she had before. No we were used to each other. Occasionally we'd go to Crowley for a new assignment and he'd be proud of my work as a vessel. Nora would take her brake and I would be free in myself for a few hours, but I'd never run away.

Maybe if I had this freedom the first time around I'd have run long ago, but I had a deal. The angels and Winchesters would be safe as long as served my purpose. And serve I did. I had long gotten over the feelings of guilt. It was just part of the deal and I couldn't care less anymore. I was as numb to it as I was to the feeling of Nora inside me.

Whenever I was dragged around to harshly, it only took one trip back to hell on earth that I was patched up nicely. I had no real run-ins with any danger and this kept me going. No hunters or angels ever crossed my path and this kept work easy for both Nora and myself, until this collection in Nebraska.

We had finally after a week gotten the man in place for a nice visit from hell hounds. We had gotten him in a nice corner of town where no one seemed to venture when he had run as far as he could. He tripped in a dark warehouse and a simple whistle from my lips called upon the dogs.

They were there in seconds, snapping and growling at my legs.

"Hey, call off the hounds." A voice behind us made me turn.

"And why in hell would I do that?" my lips smiled sweetly at this other man.

"Because," he lit a match and burned a lantern to light up the room. We were standing in a devil's trap. I started to laugh at the man and my head fell back and Nora jumped out like normal.

"So much for the fighter you said she was." The new man laughed at the one on the floor.

"Ma'am are you alright?" the other one crawled to me. He helped me up and walked me out.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. They were both a few steps ahead when Nora jumped back in and whistled again. The dogs were back on the first man and clawed him to bits in only seconds. We laughed at their trusting.

"What are you?" the hunter asked as we laughed still.

"But a humble demon." We took a bow. The other man was dead on the floor and the hounds were back at my side. We were closing in on the man when another came up behind us and grabbed me by my hair and slapped an iron collar around my neck, then two cuffs around my wrists.

"Call them off," the man behind me growled. I looked at him from the corner of my eye then he put a blade to my side and took a slice.

"Ah," I yelled. This was the first weapon of any kind that hurt me.

"Now!" I made a quick hand movement and they went running.

"Nice," the other man said. This collection was a trap. The boss was going to be pissed, that much I knew.

I was dragged into a black van and hauled away for at least an hour. Nora was silent on her end leaving me to do all the thinking. She often pressed me for ideas when it came to hunters, but normally we could evade them easily enough, but these two were different. It was like they'd been following our movements, our patterns.

When we got to wherever we were going, I was pulled out and forced down into a chair with a bright light above me. I was chained down while they circled me.

"What do you fellas want? A chat with the boss? No, let me guess. You want women and wine. No that's too old world. I give up, go ahead and tell me."

"You can start with whatever the hell you are." The taller one asked.

"A demon, what else?"

"No, we've seen how you work. You're no demon. Jumping out of traps, evading the burn of holy water. You're something else."

"Something new."

"Oh, please, it is too early in the night to get me all hot and bothered. Buy me a drink first, at least."

"Save it." I pouted at the taller one. He was the one that cuffed me. He knew something different.

"Let's just cut her open and find out."

"S and M you say. Well, I'm down with that." I smirked. I got a slice to the hand that burned terribly.

"Oh, do it again." I teased. Another slice, to the leg this time. Then another to the chest.

"Ready to open up yet?" the shorter one asked. I had screamed with every cut. Nora was trapped in me and she was starting to fear. I hated when she was afraid because it made my whole body feel sick.

"Gotta try harder." He punched me in the jaw out of frustration.

"Fine," He pulled out a book and started reading the Latin incantation we knew too well. We'd never been held down through a whole one, but it looked like this time we were screwed. He got through the whole thing before I started to feel the claws. The whole room started to shake like a storm and the wind blew the lighting out of place. Nora hissed and growled and held on with everything she could until she was forced out again, only there was nowhere for her to go. The room was like it was built for holding demons. There had to have been sigils in the walls or salt in the paint, but whatever it was she was trapped in the cloud. She went for both men but they were warded with something. She couldn't get in and while she flew around the room the two men got to work, tossing holy oil until they figured it wasn't working.

As one last attempt, Nora few into a bird that was caged on a small table in the back of the room. The men went up to her and with the blade, stabbed right through the small animal. It lit up orange from the inside before falling dead. No smoke arose from it. Nora never left it.

I sat back in the chair from exhaustion and started to moan. My cuts throbbed and bled. Then my head started to ache, but not like before. No this was what I felt before but tenfold. I sat and screamed. I wailed and cried and dug at my skull as the men neared me.

"She's dead, Miss." They said but I could feel her marks right through me still. They were deeper than ever before. The pain was too much but I healed my other wounds before blacking out.

She sat still in the chair.

"What do we do with her?" the short one asked.

"I don't know. I've never seen anything like that before. It was like she and the demon were working together. She helped get the demon out of traps and then possessed again."

"I think we should call them."

"You think they've seen this before?"

"I don't know, man. But I have a feeling they've seen more than us." The short one pulled out his phone and made a call.

I awoke soon to a throbbing again. I was in a car with the two men driving while I laid in the back.

"I need Castiel," I grumbled. My voice was lost to me.

"Hold on, did she say something?" the driver asked.

"Yeah, I think so. What'd you say, miss?"

"Castiel," I managed before I started to scream again and everything went dark.

They drove all the way to Idaho where they met another two men who they told the story to. They passed on direction to where to take her, heading further south. She'd been passed on through several homes of hunters. Remedies were tried but none could relieve the pain of her head. She was inspected many times but no one had any idea how she ended up this way, but more than once a knife was out to her throat as an easier way out. She was looked over and her eyes opened and closed to many different faces, but she was kept hidden from everyday people everywhere she went. Hospitals were always out of the question, but instead beds and tables of those he knew the marks of a demon. Her screams were heard by many ears but no words could sooth her. She'd scream until she blacked out every time from pain.

It wasn't until she made it to the home of a man named Jefferson did someone know the right place to look. He got word of a woman passing through the homes of hunters in need of help and went right to see what was up. He took her back to his lodge outside of Kansas and looked her over for himself. He watched her scream fest play out before thought to check her eyes. There in the iris he found the red marks. He knew exactly what kind of demon had possessed her and that there was only one cure for her.

He popped on his phone in moments in hope of finding the proper ingredients for the spell he had in mind.

"Jefferson here,"

"Oh, hey Jefferson. What's up?"

"I'm looking for a few special ingredients for a spell. Hoping you might know where I could find some?"

"What are you looking for?"

"Golden tiger hair, owl's beak, and, okay I know this one is going to sound weird, but I need ashes of ninroot, aged a thousand years."

"What kind of spell are you using?"

"Mind walker spell. I got this girl here, she's been passed around hunters for a few weeks and no one had been able to figure out what's wrong with her. She wakes up screaming then passes out after a few seconds every time. It's stumped everyone but I think I know what's wrong with her."

"How far out are you?"

"Clarksville, on Second Street."

"Listen, is it alright if we head on over and check it out ourselves?"

"Knock yourself out. I gotta figure out how I'm going to find this stuff,"

"Right, we'll see ya in a few."

"Got ya." He hung up and turned back to the girl.

I was awake for a few minutes while this man was in the middle of a dusty book. I whimpered feeling the throbbing in my eyes and head again. "Castiel," I got out.

"Did you say something?" the man asked and came over.

"Castiel," I said again.

"What is that?"

"Castiel," I said. Outside a car door slammed shut and the man turned away to the door.

"Come on in boys, she's right inside. Just woke up, but I don't understand what she's saying."

"The rattling of a mad man, am I right?"

"It sounds like a name, Cattle, Castel,"

"Castiel?" the other man said.

"That's it. How did you know that?" In moments a new man was in the home and by my side. He grabbed my hand tightly.

"She's alive." The man said.

"Satine," he whispered and I looked at him.

"Dean, I need Castiel."

"Don't worry, we'll get him." I heard before going out again.

"You know her?" Jefferson asked.

"Yes," Dean nodded with tears in his eyes as he smiled to himself.

"She has the red in her eyes from a collection demon."

"Nora," Dean said. "The demon is named Nora. Her name is Satine."

"Do you know how long she was possessed?"

"Three years she's been gone. We thought she was dead." He had to sit down and pull out his phone.

"Cas, it's me. Come to Clarksville we need your help." The angel was there in moments.

"Dean, what is it?" Dean just looked at the table where Satine laid.

"You found her," he came over and opened her eyes. "Nora?"

"Dead as far as we can tell," Jefferson answered.

"I need to get the spell together."

"She's been like this for three weeks." Jefferson said. Dean remembered what it was like the first time, how she screamed in pain every time the marks throbbed. He couldn't even imagine three weeks of it.

Castiel was back in about an hour ready to start the spell. Like before he lit fire to everything then spoke in Latin as Jefferson and Dean held her down and Castiel touched her temples. He was again walking around inside a darker version of Satine. It wasn't like last time where Nora was only in her for a few months. After three years of watching death and torture, Satine was riddled with darkness and scarred over numb. He easily found the claw marks and was able to heal like he did last time, but he was afraid that Satine was no longer the woman that they all knew.

It was a few hours of Castiel wandering in Satine before he was back in his vessel. He was exhausted and so was Satine.

"She is better."

"Great," Dean beamed as he would to a long lost sister. "We can take her to the bunker to rest up. She'll be on her feet in no time."

"Dean, this isn't the Satine you know."

"What'd'ya mean? Look at her. It's Satine."

"Dean, Nora was in there for three years. She was awake for everything. Do not be surprised if she isn't like you remember." Dean worried a bit at this but took her to the bunker anyway. He found Sam there and he could only stare with his mouth open as Dean brought her to one of the open bedrooms in the buildings down their hall.

"She's alive." Sam whispered to himself.

"Nora," Dean said as they stood over her.

"Is she…" he pointed to his head.

"She was, Cas fixed her again, but I don't know how long she'll be out." They both stood by the bed in awe. They had thought she was long dead.

"Crowley let her go, you think?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, but Nora sure as hell didn't approve of it. She had the same markings in her eyes as she did last time."

"What should we tell her?"

"About what?"

"Dean, but it's been three years. Don't you think she should at least know?"

"No, I don't. Like you said, it's been three years. She's needs a break and I don't want any more of these feathery assholes around anywhere near this place. Who knows what'll show up if she starts praying?" Sam wasn't so sure. Gadreel had gone looking for her the moment he got his grace back, but after a year he began to lose hope. He was with her for such a short period of time, but he grew to love her quickly. She was what he needed. She saw in him what he couldn't and protected him like she'd forgotten he was an angel. His mistakes were overlooked by her and his redemption was possible. Her forgiveness drew him close and her love was what kept him looking. He remembered seeing her as he received his grace again with Crowley. He never found her and after three years, now that the Winchesters had her. Then the whole suicide thing. They didn't know what to tell her.

"What about Cas? Do you think he'd tell her?"

"I think he's as shocked as we are that she's even alive. Even part angel, how the hell did she survive three years?"

"Sam, Dean," a voice got their attention.

"Cas,"

"I think it's time we told Satine about Gadreel." Cas suggested. Sam looked at his brother with a smirk.

"Why?" Dean demanded.

"She's waited long enough." Cas sighed.

"She hasn't said anything about him. How do we know she wants to know at all?" Dean was so damn stubborn about keeping Gadreel away. "She's been through enough. Don't talk about him and if she asks-…."

"Let's just let her sleep for now." Sam said, breaking the tension. Everyone agreed, but no matter what Dean said, Sam still believed the girl needed to know.

When he was looking for her, Dean had no sympathy for him. Gadreel broke without her and Sam could understand why. After Jess, he knew that pain.


End file.
